Ever been screwed over by a family? Could use some support :(

So, I started a new family a few months ago, with a one year old little girl. The family has always been very friendly. Whenever I would discuss fee increases if Bill 10 went through the mother always acted like Bill 10 wasn't important etc. And would always say "you'll find people" which confused me because I wasn't looking!

Oh did I mention I am 7 months pregnant! I told parents early on and gave detailed the plan for them (closure for 2 weeks etc.)

So, Wednesday they give their notice! The first reason because they don't have back up for the closure! Why didn't they mention that months ago?!!!!! When I say I can probably cover that, it changes to well, its closer to us.. TRANSLATION: "we were on a waiting list for a centre when we signed on with you".

I had 4 or 5 inquiries back in september which I would have interviewed had I known!!!

The mom wrote this lovely note about how happy their daughter is here and how they would happily be a reference.


I know they have no access to back up care, but why not tell me BEFORE christmas!

I am pretty upset. Has this happened to anyone before?

I could use some encouraging words. Being pregnant is making this whole thing feel so overwhelming..

Sorry you're going through this. It really sucks. It does sound like they were on a waiting list for a centre and a space opened up. Hope you're able to fill their spot!

oh yes!! gotta love the ones on waiting lists at centre's. I had one boy who started in May last year. He was so hard to transition. I even considered terminating as he would only nap 1 hour for me. I worked so hard (he still wasn't sleeping for more than an hour in August) and they ended up giving notice for Sept. You guessed it they got into a centre. I passed over so many other's. I always stress to my families when they sign on now that I am looking for a long term family although I understand that things change. I want them to feel guilty about lying right to my face - HA HA. Pretty sure I have missed out on a few of these "for now" families since. Nothing you can do about it. Some people will use you as a stepping stone waiting for something better to come around.

It really sucks when we are the ones who loose out but just like any other service provider, the customer is always going to do what is best for them. It's hard to keep that in mind though when we're the ones getting screwed over :(

I know we are dealing with children and it's more personal but in the big picture, it's really no different than us switching hair stylists, car mechanics, cell phone companies etc.

I had a single mom taking her nursing who was paying me $640 a month. She had her name on a centre list but had kinda forgotten about it (it was 2 years later that they called her!) She took the centre spot and now pays $40 a month because she is eligible for subsidy....It was tough for the grandma (I dealt with her 95% of the time) to let me go but it was a no brainer and I don't fault her for that. I would have jumped at that chance too! That extra $600 now goes towards the student loans. It was the best decision for mom :)

I just assume every parent is on a centre waiting list....with the cost of private daycare being quite a bit more than most centres, I can't see why they wouldn't be! (Some parents do choose hdc for the environment and smaller numbers though and they don't care/worry about the price) If a family doesn't have a back up provider for days we are closed, than centre daycares are a better fit for them anyways.

Private care in my area is WAY cheaper than centers (Greater Vancouver). That said, it is a business and people make business decisions. I bet that the family really did love you and your care. That was likely not a lie. Who knows why they thought a different place was better. Could have been location, cost, whatever. But DO NOT let it bring you down. Just enjoy you new baby and trust that good things will follow. Maybe a better family with a kid that transitions perfectly. :)

Yes - it may be a perfect time to have a few less kids to take off and work on arranging to get a new family after the baby is born - if you can, if not just put the word out now and check out all your local area's to advertise for now- the main thing is be healthy and don't let it get you down- you have a new baby to look forward to:)

It's not personal! It's a business. They didn't screw you over. Regardless of their reasons, you are a provider who was no longer offering the deal/service which best suited this family. It's no different to you switching supermarkets, cellphone provider, cable provider or any else. A client isn't obligated to stay with you through thick and thin. Sure, they could have been more considerate because you are pregnant, because I'm a single Mom, because their provider's spouse has just been laid off but no client is responsible for their provider's financial/personal situation any more than we as providers are obligated to give discounts/wait for our fees because of a client's financial/personal situation.

As providers who are self-employed, we touch many families. Often those who leave us have loved us as carer's but their needs have changed or they are being offered a better deal elsewhere, which isn't always financially advantageous but is a better deal in terms of their family requirements.

Sure - it sucks, especially at Christmas but there's never a good time for a client to go when we weren't expecting it. Bottom line, I don't think we can feel screwed over by someone opting to move on. We aren't obligated as customers to stick to providers we use, so why would be expect our client to be? It's purely business.

I disagree Rachel - yes it is business but some families do screw their provider by not being open and honest. It is however part of the business - that is just how some people are. For myself I am always open and honest and hope people show me the same courtesy.

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Originally Posted by mickyc

I disagree Rachel - yes it is business but some families do screw their provider by not being open and honest. It is however part of the business - that is just how some people are. For myself I am always open and honest and hope people show me the same courtesy.

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Me too. But not everyone's personality is like that. Some just don't think about telling us they are considering moving to a different province until they have the job, their home is sold and they are ready to roll. I don't think they intend to screw us over but they just don't view it as relevant to us until they need to give notice. Or maybe they worry we'll replace them and give them notice before they are ready to go.

As said, it's nice when clients keep up in the loop and are open and communicate with us but I don't think they always mean to screw us over when they don't. They just aren't those types of personality.

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Originally Posted by Rachael

I don't think we can feel screwed over by someone opting to move on. We aren't obligated as customers to stick to providers we use, so why would be expect our client to be? It's purely business.

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Rachel-Telling me that you don't think I should FEEL a certain way is ridiculous.

Firstly, I understand it is business, and this family leaving is not my issue at all! I am frustrated because it is clear that they have known for some time that they needed a centre. Business or not, if they truly appreciate the care I provide for their child, it is fair enough to hope they would be honest with me so I can move forward accordingly.

Secondly, I do not expect that people would be more considerate because I am pregnant, but honest, yes, I would hope so.