Adding Potty Training to Guide Book

Looking for some advice.

I'm adding Potty Training to my guide book and going with what seems to be the standard with most daycare. That it starts at home and that I will support but dc comes in Pull ups till able to stay dry and verbally tell me that they need to use the bathroom then underwear is acceptable. Not in those words but you get my meaning, but this isn't my issue or problem right now and not why I'm changing my guide book.

I have parents who started potty training, child was ready at 3 yrs and taking to it (but If your a parent you know this milestone isn't easy and can take time and a LOT of effort) needles to say they gave up. Also the child is only part time so its impossible to keep up any consisting to it here at daycare to teach it (which why it has to be done at home) . Child is now turning 4 in a couple of months and still coming in pull ups (which don't hold much) and child also now refuses to use the potty always says the they don't need to (child just doesn't want to give up playtime) specially with having to do poop.

I brought up the issue with the mom and her answer was well he refuses poop on potty so I'm not pushing him and he won't be in pull up at the age of 25 years old. :huh: !?!? So she's leaving it because he won't poop ? I don't believe it because he's not going pee on the potty either? I know she's right you can't push a child to poop on potty but you need to still do the peeing otherwise the pooping will never come.

Sorry but maybe Im wrong in this but it's starting to gross me out to do pull up changes for this child, the child is big so therefor their waste is too.

So Im wondering if anyone has in their contracts that a child must be potty trained by well I was thinking 3 1/2 yrs. Or that are at least actively in the process. What do you think is that to harsh?

If the child is seemingly capable of being potty trained but is not due to lack of motivation I would be tempted to motivate him by making him miss out on more playtime by being in a pull-up than using the potty. I'm not sure what this would look like for this child. Being part time doesn't help.

Would he be capable of changing his own pull up?

Maybe make him have a pull up change every 30minutes? Full out, lie down on the change table take it off, check if it's wet, put it on, redress. Anything to make it tedious. He will likely freak out through it but just keep saying, oh if you wear diapers at daycare this is what happens. It will be a HUGE pain for you but it might be enough to make him realize being in a pull up doesn't have any perks.

Oh, stop calling them pullups and call them diapers. They are a diaper in this sense as they are being used with the intent that he soils them...that is a diaper. Call them a diaper, as often as you can. Maybe consider switching him to diapers instead of pull ups at daycare.

Unfortunately for the 'average' child waiting until they are 4 means they missed the prime training period and they are not old enough and smart enough to just be lazy and to be difficult about it. It is hard to excite a 4 yr old with trying to sit on a potty. Now you just end up in a battle with a child old enough to refuse!

What province are you in? Will he be allowed in kindergarten? Here where I am they have to be full toilet trained to attend unless they have a noted medical condition/disability...that is usually enough reason to get these types of parents trying at home as they will end up paying an extra year of daycare if they don't train him.

Can you afford to lose this child? I would consider giving a probation period of a month or so and tell the family if he's not trained by then you will have to terminate. Just to get them working on it...but you risk losing them...if there is another provider willing to take on a part time almost 4yr old in diapers.

If he were full time it would be much easier for you as you'd have more time to do an intensive training.

I am going through something similar with a dcg that is 3.5 yrs. Mom and Dad work shifts (they are nurse and emt) and are constantly giving me excuses when it comes to why she does fine here but won't go at all at home. They are very indulgent parents and say that it's hard when you work shifts or dcg doesn't want to sit on potty and when they ASK her to sit, she changes the subject!!! Are you kidding me?
Mom like to use every emergency case that has ever been told to her and says she doesn't want to make her go on the potty because it will traumatize her and she will hold it and get a serious infection.
I'm sorry, but before I started daycare, both my hubby and I worked shifts and we did fine with our 2 boys. I too am getting grossed out by changing a child this age. I am definitely thinking of putting something about training in my handbook. I feel like I am the only one willing to make an effort in this relationship...it's very frustrating :(

I don't understand why kids are being given the option! Around here we have "potty time" no matter if you have to go or not. I wish parents wouldn't ask and start telling their kids!!

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Originally Posted by mickyc

I don't understand why kids are being given the option! Around here we have "potty time" no matter if you have to go or not. I wish parents wouldn't ask and start telling their kids!!

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Because it is hardwork and they are lazy...there you go I said it lol Very rarely do I find a family who are 100% committed and follow my lead. They either want to start too early like its a race and something else to brag about and rub in other peoples faces, or they have a million and one excuses why they can't. I have two boys, 1 just turned 2 last week and the other turns 2 next week. I have made it clear to both sets of parents that we will not be starting training till May at the absolute earliest, I always like to wait a few months past their 2nd birthday for boys anyway although we start working on recognizing the signs and independently undressing and verbalizing their needs beforehand, but unless your child comes to me themselves to ask to use the bathroom, I'm not starting a boy earlier than 2 1/2. Girls...that is a different matter but a lot of parents just want to eliminate the cost of diapers without giving any thought, realistic thought too, to the readiness of their child. I had another parent of a just turned 17 mth old asking to train her daughter in the spring. Can this child verbalize her needs let alone be physically ready? Absolutely not. This kid has a few words but pretty much babbles. Why on earth would you think she is able to independently toilet then??

I have a checklist for training readiness. I don't think toilet training starts at home, I think it is completely collaborative. They are with me more hours than their parents so it actually makes sense for me to take the lead, especially as my methods need to work while caring for other children simultaneously. I do not use pull ups or diapers...they are the same thing.... and if they have not been started to early, or are ready to train, it only takes about 1 to 2 weeks and beyond that accidents are less and less frequent.