Advise for getting the child to stop crying

Hello, I am about to sign up a new client very soon, so she wanted to leave her son with me for an hour to see how it went, to which i agreed to for an hour. The child is 1 years old and the minute the mom left the child started, which I know is normal. Now my question is how long should we let them cry, as he screamed his head off for the full hour, which made new time mom upset. What is the way to handle child and mom. She wants to keep bringing the child to me free, until he gets used to me and then sign up. Please advise providers thanks

Sorry, no freebies!

I would advise mom that the only way to help her child adjust is to let him! She needs to leave him with you full time and cold turkey. I find shortened visits don't truly allow the child to settle in and actually increases their anxiety. They don't know when mom will come back and they "watch the clock" not knowing when she will be here. He just needs to be left and he will come around.

Oh, and if you do decide to let her leave the child with you for an adjustment period full days fees are due.

I wouldn't be doing anything like that for free. If she wants to sign up, let her. Maybe have a trial period of a week or two, but your time and effort are worth something and you should be paid for it.

As for how long you let him cry. You don't know this child well enough to know how normal this is for him. Some babies at 1 will cry all day. I had one like that. She cried the minute I moved 5ft away from her. Lasted several months. I wasn't about to carry her around all day, so it just went on. Whether you choose to put up with it, is up to you. But I don't think that you can judge from 1 hour.

If you think you would like to try with this family, do a trial period and then you both have the option to terminate if it's not working out. But definitely, you should be paid for your time!

Also agree. Even if it's just an hr she needs to pay. I don't think an hr is good though. For the first wk leave him for the whole morning. Then go home and nap. the next wk should be full days. I have had many many one yr olds that cried. Some lasted a wk others lasted mths. They eventually come around its just a matter of if you want to do it or not :). Good luck!

How does she justify leaving her child with you for free?? What on earth is she thinking? Crying or not, it is still childcare. I agree with the trial period option but she still needs to pay full fees. If after a 3-4 week trial period she isn't happy with him in your care or vice versa, then no notice would be required to pull the child out.

I don't do phase ins. If someone want gradual introduction to day care, they need to contract for a start date earlier than they need and pay the fees from that date. I wouldn't be working for free, for any period of time. This could go on for weeks until Mom is reassured.

Typically kids can cry all day for a good 4 weeks. I would strongly suggest you don't watch the child full time for 4 weeks to see if the child adjusts before mom is happy enough to pay and sign a contract!

Let mom know this process can take many weeks, the more frequent and longer the visits the faster the transition and she needs to pay for the care. She can pay for the transition period (should you be interested in providing one) and sign a contract in a couple weeks (if you are willing to put that effort in to have her not sign in the end). Ultimately mom needs to trust it will all work out. Often the moms that struggle with that trust and are too stressed about baby not settling in end up with a child that has trouble settling into care because they pick up on moms stress and worries.

I only did the slow transition for one family. The were an AP family and mom had planned to go back to work at 18months but suddenly got an amazing job offer at 12 months. Mom was not prepared for the sudden start so had grandma come to town for a week and the child came 1hr Monday, 2hrs Tuesday, half day wed, 3/4 day thurs and full day fri. It worked out just fine. They were prepared to pay full day rates but I just charged 3 days fees as that was more or less the amount of work I did and it was my way of showing I was in this with a bit of care and tenderness and not just business. I would not have offered this up to a family that was trying to force it on me though the family deserved it with how well they were handling everything and how they were accepting all my "rules".