Update on the daycare provider turned student

Howdy folks...thought I'd just check in with you ladies

Student life, although I'm only in my 2nd week, is a huge change. The illusions I had faded within just a day or two lol

The commute is a killer 3 1/2-4 hrs a day but I knew that going in and there is nothing I can do about that for my first year. Come the summer I will be throwing myself into online classes whether I like it or not, and may even transfer if it becomes too much. I only drive in to TO from Niagara Region 3 x a week so it's not to bad and I'm working on completing this in 3 years.

I had a funny experience my first day where an accessible toilet lock showed vacant even though it was locked but someone bust through the door to freeze in horror and stare me in the face apologizing profusely while I'm sat on the loo with my pants down hahaha 19 year old guy to make it worse bless him...I've had two kids which means the world and his wife has seen my hoo ha so lolol I found it quite amusing. I was going to use it as an icebreaker when I came out given that if he has seen me like that the least we could do is exchange names. Needless to say when I left the bathroom not a minute later, he was nowhere to be found HAHAHA:laugh::laugh: :laugh::laugh:

The shift in my roll is a tough one. My kids let themselves in 3 x a week on their own and so far my anxiety has stayed at bay. Even yesterday as I kept missing calls from school I didn't lose my marbles, later getting frustrated to find it was just a bloody automated thing.

They also get themselves out one morning as I have to leave before 7. I know they are capable, it's a case of my PTSD and anxiety which can sometimes get the better of me.

I feel overwhelmed by doubt and feel like I am incapable. It is further reinforced when I am in a class with other students who are not first years who have an extensive vocabulary and knowledge of the subject matter.

My instincts are screaming at me to quit. The fear of failure and the discomfort I feel in my current position make me very stressed. It just further reinforces how much I need to do this. I will be fine and my family will be better for it in the long run. Money matters is a significant issue and suddenly having to say no as a direct result of putting myself first is very very hard to deal with right now. Getting a job is tough so I'm going to be making some flyers up and canvassing my local area advertising house cleaning services.

Anyhow, hope everyone is well and had a great summer. Just wanted to check in and say hi!

Wow, I so admire your strength and determination to return to school and tackle all the changes this decision brings with it! You are a strong woman and even though this new situation feels intimidating and over whelming, I have a strong sense by your great attitude, that you will achieve your goal. Hang tough and take it one day at a time. Good luck and thanks for the up date.

Wow...what a HUGE change! Sounds like you are doing great. In a matter of time this will become your new "norm" and you'll forget how big the transition was :-)

I would have been mortified if someone walked in on me in the bathroom! I always worry when I use those washrooms with my daughter...that she'll pop the door open and I won't be able to hop up and stop her!!!

Good to hear an update!! Sounds like you're getting into the swing of things and handling everything well. Keep at it!!

Good for you for going back to school which is hard when you are use to money coming in and then no money so I admire you for it
it does take time to get use to anything new and it will easier as time goes on, and you must be so proud of your family adjusting so well to this big change - they got a A+ for that :)