HELP! Kids are awful!!!!

Oh what do I do!?!? Someone I've know in passing for years contacted me about before/after school care for their two boys 5yrs and 8yrs. I knew it would be a slight challenge and people told me they were very difficult and dirty (not clean and smelly) BUT I thought people were exaggerating. Also the 8yr old was being picked on at the daycare centre. So I agreed and they started last week.

WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!! These kids are DIRTY!!!! It's disgusting actually I can't stand to sit near them and don't want them in my furniture. They are so destructive. They wrestle weeks each other will not let each other go they throw toys the matter how many times I tell them not to throw toys we keep throwing toys. No matter how many times I tell them to keep their hands off of each other they still wrestle with each other and won't leave each other alone. Y'all end user outside voices they are never quite had I do not know what to do.

I am losing my mind!!! I have had difficult children in the past before Lord only knows we all have but I have never run across this before and I am only have them at my house seven days now and I am losing my mind. How much longer do I try I know seven days doesn't seem like much should I get it longer? I've been doing this for nine years and never run into this kind of situation before not this bad at least.

Thank you in advance for any suggestions you may have

Did you meet the kids before agreeing? Were they dirty then? There isn't much you can do about that aside from talking with the parents.

As for the behavior. At 5 and 8 yrs they are old enough for solid, firm consequences.

Figure out what will work the most for them. Some kids work best getting positive praise and earning rewards other kids work best with having privileges removed.

Do they have a favorite movie? Lay down the law, let them know EXACTLY what you will and will not accept from them. Call them out on it IMMEDIATELY. If you think a movie will work then arrange to have a movie party Friday after school. Lots of special treats and a movie. If they behave until then they can watch...if they do not then they get to sit at a table in another room and draw or use a set toy while the rest of the kids get the treats and movie in the other room.

Expect they will NOT watch this first movie but expect they will realize you mean business and next week plan another move day (or some other big event). Lay out the rules again, track their progress. Don't make it too far away that they can't succeed but not so close they don't have to work for it.

Over time slowly stretch out the time between rewards. The goal is that they start to try and monitor their own actions to get the reward that it becomes second nature to them while at your house.

If the movie isn't feasible for you have them earn candy or something else. Give them a reason to behave to try and get them on track. In time they will hopefully behave and you can phase out the rewards.

Sounds like they need to feel the pain of suffering the consequences of their actions (missing a favorite movie etc) to realize they do indeed need to smarten up.

I just termed 9 and 10yo boys after a month from absolute hell. I will never take children that old again.

It was constant wrestling, throwing toys and furniture, making fun of my kids, making fun of ME, talking back, yelling at me when I asked them to do something, I could go on for DAYS. It culminated in them wrestling so bad they threw each other on my futon in my playroom (that has lasted through 5 years of constant use from my family and dckids) and breaking, actually snapping, the metal frame. The next day, they spilled water on my floor, I gave them paper towels to clean it up, and they promptly flushed a HUGE wad of paper towel down my toilet, clogging it so badly we had to call a plumber!

They ended up costing me more than they brought in, they taught my own children a ton of terrible habits and language I'm now trying to correct, and they were rude, inconsiderate little jerks, frankly. I don't have a TV in my playroom and couldn't leave them unattended for a split second without them destroying something or reducing my son to tears, so putting on TV or a movie for them wasn't an option. Dad sent them with tablets (without consulting me) but those only held their attention for about 10 minutes.

Bottom line, I am geared towards toddlers and kindergarteners, like most of us are, and they were bored. My toys didn't interest them, and apparently all they did at home was "watch simpsons and skateboard," so I couldn't entertain them. They were not interested in crafts, activities, board games, etc, anything I tried. They couldn't have cared less if I was angry with them, they simply laughed hysterically.

Kids this age need to be in after-school programs that can let them RUN and burn off excess energy, IMO. Not to say ALL older children will act the way my 2 hooligans did, but if they're that bad right off the bat, with no "honeymoon period" of finding out what they can get away with around you, they're not going to get any better. I should have termed them the day after they started. Instead I held on for a month and ended up losing money over their destruction.

Speak to the parents and put them on probation. I tried, and it did nothing, but maybe you'll have better luck. If that doesn't work and their behaviour continues to escalate, get out now. That's my 2 cents. Good luck!

A mth? 7 days? Wow u guys lasted longer then me. Haha. I also had demon school age boys and I kicked them out after the third day :). I have my family and my other dcks to think about and also my home and things......so ya, no thanks! Bye bye! Lol

What do you have in your contact in regard to termination?

If you can't handle them, you can't handle them! I agree that home daycares are geared towards preschoolers and older kids get bored. Bored kids tend to misbehave. It's not necessarily their fault but it happens.

I'd either add to my program and supplies to suit their ages or I'd terminate.