Pulling my hair out...

Hello all,

I need some advice, please. I started a daycare 8 months ago and so far things have been great. A few weeks ago, I had a new little girl start (11 months) with me. She's an only child who has been very spoiled and coddled at home, and the parents warned me that she would need to adjust to daycare. Well, it has been just over three weeks now, and the adjustment is not happening very well. She cries and screams almost every moment and will only calm down when I pick her up. Unfortunately, I just can't pick her up every moment of the day (nor should I) because I have to care for the other kids (I have a 2 yr old, a 4 yr old and a 1 yr old). She cries and screams to the point where I have had to seclude her in her own room to nap (and we can still hear her) and her crying has now started upsetting the 1 yr old and 2 yr old (who are normally mild-mannered, mellow and happy kids). Once she gets into her typical screaming fits (when I can't pick her up), the other two have started crying. It's creating chaos. I know some kids need longer than others to transition, but how long do you wait for a kid to "settle in"? I'm only 8 months into my daycare, so I need some seasoned advice. What would you do?
She's a cute kid but she's making the whole daycare experience a nightmare right now and I'm starting to get a little frazzled... :blink:

Only you can put a time limit on it. What is your sanity (and the other kids) level? How long can u last? If ur close to losing it, term her but if u can and want to work with her more then do it. It's only you that knows how long u can go. I went two wks once with a screamer then termed him. Last yr I went 4mths with a crier. The only reason I lasted 4 mths was because he ate and napped well for 3 hrs. But after 4 mths of still coming in every morning crying and crying through everything we did I termed him. I termed the other boy quicker just after two wks because he didn't nap didn't eat didn't want me to pick him up he just screamed and screamed and nobody got time for that ;) !

Oh I hear ya! I had a new one start a few weeks ago. We are still struggling. She cries most of the morning, our whole time outside. It is getting old fast! I cannot move and she cries! I cannot go in my laundry room (where my fridge is) and even if she can see me she screams! I don't pick her up anymore as she is very heavy and after 2 weeks my back says NO!! My 20 month old was getting upset and crying too but we seemed to have gotten over that. Our afternoons are usually much better and she will just cry when mom walks in the door.

I will keep going as she will stop to eat and will nap for the full 2.5 hours and goes directly to sleep.

I have termed one boy once after day 3. I could not stand his high pitched scream. He would not eat or nap and the other kids were walking around covering their ears. I just couldn't handle his cry!

It's totally up to you how long you can handle it. I know I felt so bad when I termed. I felt like a failure but I just couldn't do it any longer.

Your situation sounds a lot like mine. From the moment she gets dropped off in the morning (even before she is out of her snowsuit), the crying and wailing begins. She doesn't stop when we go outside, when she goes in the stroller... only if I pick her up. And oh boy, if I leave the room, I'm sure the neighbours can hear the screaming! Unfortunately, she is also proving to be a picky eater and a lousy napper (I'm lucky if I get 30 minutes in the am and an hour in the pm).

The only thing that is making me hesitate is that it took me a long time to fill her spot and I'd rather not lose her income. I do have someone else interested in taking her potential spot, but they only need care starting mid-July when mom goes back to work. Ugh. Not sure what to do... don't know how long my sanity is going to hold out on this one.

you have to make up your mind if you rather have less money and enjoy your day with the other kids or more money and feeling frazzled - can you wait it out financially till July?

It might sound harsh but I never pick up new kids when they cry, unless hurt. I make a point not pick them up. They go onto the floor. I interact at their level but not pick up. I give lot of attention but not pick up. As soon as the child is calm, that when I pick up. If we having story time and new child calm with me close, I move child onto my lap. As soon as they do the attention cry, they go down again. Still interacting but not pick up.
For me, this has been the most successful way of child know that there lot of love and attention here but not possible when they just crying to demand it. I be very hard but it been what work best for me. Only time I pick up new child, is to put in high chair, stroller, crib or to change diaper.