Ridiculous accusation from parent!

I have had this child in my care for almost an year now. He took a long time to transition and become happy and well adjusted here, whenever there is a change in routine he gets fussy. So parents have kept him home LOTS for 2 weeks I saw him 3 1/2 days. Last week he was back 5 days a week and everyday at drop off would cry, mom seemed to be understanding. Today dad dropped off and he was crying again and he asked me "has anything changed, why do you think he is crying?" I said nothing has changed here but he was staying home a lot and I think that's why he is upset
Later during the day I get a text that kind of goes like this "I think my child is getting bored or not getting enough attention or maybe lots of turnover at your home. Staying at home shouldn't make a difference in his behaviour if he find coming to you interesting. I don't think your comment that he doesn't want to stay with you because he is home a lot was appropriate. It is completely about the fun and care he gets with you. Thanks"

The child is happy here, nothing has changed in terms of how I care for him and the level of attention, yes I have many part timers so there are different children everyday, i don't have a steady monday to friday group but that's just how its worked for me, this has always been the case. He has just been crying at drop off, 5 mins later when we start to play he stops. I told parent that when he dropped him off at the door I told him its just a show because he doesn't want you to go.
I haven't replied because I have already been stressed out because of other non work related things and if I reply I am afraid I am going to ACTUALLY say something inappropriate so I am waiting to calm down and hoping one of you can help me come up with a good response, I don't want to be rude and don't particularly want the child gone as I do like this little one.

So your comment was inappropriate but dads wasn't?! Oi, some people! Lol

I think you are probably right. Young kids do much better with consistency and routine. Once they're a bit older, a few days at home doesn't seem to affect them but when they're young, I agree with you that it seems to affect them. What I do when they make a fuss at drop off is take a pic of them as soon as they stop and send it to the parent...this is usually before they've even backed outta the driveway lol. It shows the parent that the crying really is just a show put on and that the child isn't upset about coming here lol

I'd respond back with, "sorry you found my comment inappropriate but I meant no harm. Its just been my experience that children thrive on routine and when it's altered, it sometimes affects them. I understand crying at drop off must be stressful for you but I assure you that your child is fine minutes after settling in and enjoys his time here. I give all children my best care. If you have any concerns, we can talk in person"

By sending a text over something serious like this, they are getting to be passive aggressive and likely saying things they wouldn't in person to your face. IME, parents sometimes feel guilty about needing daycare and when the child cries they want to pass the "blame" onto the provider so that they don't feel like the crappy parent. In reality, crying at drop off is VERY normal! It's great that they want to keep him home when they're on days off and spend time with him but maybe right now, this child would benefit more from ft dc?

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

So your comment was inappropriate but dads wasn't?! Oi, some people! Lol

I think you are probably right. Young kids do much better with consistency and routine. Once they're a bit older, a few days at home doesn't seem to affect them but when they're young, I agree with you that it seems to affect them. What I do when they make a fuss at drop off is take a pic of them as soon as they stop and send it to the parent...this is usually before they've even backed outta the driveway lol. It shows the parent that the crying really is just a show put on and that the child isn't upset about coming here lol

I'd respond back with, "sorry you found my comment inappropriate but I meant no harm. Its just been my experience that children thrive on routine and when it's altered, it sometimes affects them. I understand crying at drop off must be stressful for you but I assure you that your child is fine minutes after settling in and enjoys his time here. I give all children my best care. If you have any concerns, we can talk in person"

By sending a text over something serious like this, they are getting to be passive aggressive and likely saying things they wouldn't in person to your face. IME, parents sometimes feel guilty about needing daycare and when the child cries they want to pass the "blame" onto the provider so that they don't feel like the crappy parent. In reality, crying at drop off is VERY normal! It's great that they want to keep him home when they're on days off and spend time with him but maybe right now, this child would benefit more from ft dc?

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Good suggestion with the picture, I will try to do that, too bad my phone takes awful pictures, maybe just a quick text or even a call so they can hear no child crying in the background to let them know everything is ok.

Mom came and picked up child early without notifying me. I spoke to her and explained the situation, she was understanding and agreed with me, she was concerned that her son wasn't adjusting to new children coming I guaranteed her her son has no issue with the children. It is too much of a coincidence that he becomes miserable coming after staying home lots.

I call parents when the child is playing and the parents are so glad to be reassured as they do feel guilty about needing d/care also I have one who cries at drop off and I explained to mom that when he cries he is just saying " I love you and wish I was going to be with you" but he is fine a few mins later
the parents hold on to the vision of their child crying and think he is like that all day so don't stress yourself out over this , try to be professional and calm when you see them next
Good luck

and talk to them in person about this, rather than texting them

Before mom had come I had texted dad, basically telling him when a child who is mostly used to being in daycare has their routine switched and then starts to stay home they sometimes do not adjust well and become fussy and cling to parents and its normal behaviour, my comment wasn't meant offend him. The crying lasts only a few mins and then he gets distracted playing and stops. His child is happy here, well adjusted and nothing has changed in terms of how I care for the children, hence why I mentioned I suspected it was due to staying at home more often, because that has been the only recent change that I know of.

All I got back now was a "Thanks."

I find kids get fussy after being away from the routine for whatever reason. It could be illness/vacation/long weekend etc. and it takes them a few days to readjust to the routines.
Just speak to the parents directly if you need to. Texting has a way of being misinterpreted. Just show them that he's happy and move on.

[QUOTE=planet.caravan 67

All I got back now was a "Thanks."[/QUOTE

He may have realised that he over-reacted and wanted to keep his reply SHORT :)

There is no question that the young ones may have a hard time getting back into the routine and going to childcare (after a long stretch at home with just parents). I've noticed that pattern with toddlers and preschoolers.
There are times when a child has had a bad experience at childcare and may be fussy because of that - because these situation exist parents could be a little worried about their children when they can't see what happens all day with their child. The fact that you've had this little guy a year, though, should calm those fears with these parents.
Sending pics to reassure them is a great move.