Advice for someone who just left a troubled dayhome

I recently pulled my son out of a day home he's been in for 10 months. I had found out purely by chance that my day home lady invited a man I've never met or known before to live in their house as a room mate. She has never produced a letter informing the day home parents of this, she had not told me verbally this was happening, nor did she produce a criminal record check. I don't know this man from Adam. I did approach her about it and she told me the other parents knew and didn't have a problem with it. I asked why I had not been told and she had no answer for me. (She was quite incredulous that I even asked) When I asked for the CRC she said "He had one done at his work". I asked again if she might produce it and she laughed at me. Needless to say this was the straw that broke the camels back and I pulled my son out of her care and put him in a Daycare closer to home.
I've always been respectful to my day home lady and am largely in nature passive/non-confrontational. When I approached her again about the man in her house she got very defensive and when I checked with another day home parent about whether she knew. The other parent had never been told either. I have some other issues as well with her day home, but this one was the biggest one. All of which I've tried to discuss with her in a calm, adult manner never accusing, only asking and it never amounted to much but a disagreement and her telling me that I was a helicopter parent. Now I worry that the children in her care are still around this man and the parents don't know.
I phoned Family Services and they told me that as long as I removed my son from harms way that, that is the most I can do in this scenario being that she is a private day home and not under an agency that monitors private day homes.
Should I leave sleeping dogs lie or should I be worried and make a report to another appropriate agency?

I'd leave it. U did good by pulling him out. That's not ok for a provider to just let a man into live and not inform the daycare. But now that uve left there's not much to do but just pray for those children that they are safe and the man is just a friend and not around he kids often. Pretty soon the other moms will see what u've seen and if they have concerns they will deal with it the way they want.

Leave it.

I do understand your concern but the other side is, this is not just daycare but a personal, private home too. In private home, people are allowed private lives. They can take in a lodger, they can have a boyfriend sleep over, they can even have a partner move into their home and quite frankly it none of your business.

Yes, I understand that you would like a CR check for him, I totally get that. But she's not obligated to provide one.

Imagine if you took in a lodger or a boyfriend moved into your home, would you be pissed at people presuming he was risk to other visitors in your home? Do you have police checks for adults at family gathering when children present? Course not. And I think you'd be a little miffed if your guests required one from other people at the event.

This man might not be present during day, or might be in own part of house if he is there in daycare hours.

Either way, as a private day home, she is allowed some privacy and not have to give criminal record check for herself let alone others in the house in many provinces.

You choice is to accept this change or not. And since it clear you not happy which as said , I do understand, there no need to stir up lot of trouble without due cause. That's just spiteful and disrespectful of the fact it's not solely a business location but also a private home. Daycare not big income and it might be she had to take in lodger to pay bills otherwise there be no daycare to drop off children anyway. She might be doing what she need to do to ensure she can pay bills and keep her house.

You decide if you okay with this or not and it not, you move on to something you happier with. But to try and find agencies to interfere when you already been told that she not breaking any regulations, is just reflect poorly on you. She could have and should have handled it better, kept you in the loop and maybe produced CR check as reassurances - I think I would have done all that. But you been told that she didn't have to so accept that and decide what you want do, without looking for ways to find trouble where there not any. Not all people are bad people and to presume he is just because you not had anything to prove otherwise, not reasonable. You'd never demand same for other people in your life who might cross path with your child.

Curious....Would this have been an issue if the roommate was a woman?

If it were me, I'd inform the parents out of respect but it is my home and they'd have no say in the decision. Chances are the roommate would be working and not around the kids anyways.

Good pt 5LM. Sometimes I forget that it is my home first and the parents don't have a say in that part :)

Life bring changes sometimes. Your dayhome person might not be earning enough money from child care and had to take in someone. It is a home first which a business happen to operate from.

You perfectly entitled to decide that changes in provider set up are not what you wish, to hand notice and leave but it not okay to be seeking places to report her because you not happy with hearing that she not doing anything wrong.

This dayhome no longer suit you but why stir up issues when you already been told she not doing anything wrong just because you are irritated by someone not selling their soul to parents?

I would leave it alone.

The provider is likely not leaving the children with this man and he likely is not home during most business hours. I don't see the big deal.

It's not any different than my husband's friend who comes over occasionally. I often have family members who stop in during the day as well. These people are here in my home while daycare is going but do not have background checks. You need to trust your provider and know that she would not put your child in harms way.

I don't even get record checks for families. What good is that piece of paper. All it shows is that the person was caught and charged. In my province people can do a search of the law courts files by name and see cases. I tell families to check on there to see that my name is not on there.