How long to accommodate a family?

When I first started my home daycare I took on the first family I could find. There were 3 kids, one was getting ready to start school in fall. So taking 3 of my six available spots, one being a reduced school age rate. On our initial meeting the mum told me that they would occasionally need care starting at six am but that it would usually be later and that there would be early pick up to offset the early drop off days, that some days there would be late drop off ( like nine or ten am), and that her husband would always pick the kids up early on Fridays. I wasn't too crazy about this idea but I thought I would just replace them as soon as I got up and running with clients who needed a more reasonable schedule. I was also told that she needed part time for the summer, with her going back to college in fall full time for a few months, then returning to work full time in winter. So i ended up holding these spots for several months for free before they even started. So part time ended up being completely sporadic, then fall comes and she decides to quit the school course and go straight back to work. At this point I asked her to give me at least three days a week of work, considering I assumed I'd be working full time by now. She agreed.
Over time I noticed that the pickup times were stretching later, early Friday pickups didn't happen and the late drop offs were starting earlier(7:45-8:00 am). She was blaming her husband for this, but her pickups were also getting later. As she is a nurse, she works twelve hour shifts then gets many days off at a time. So I'm still only guaranteed three days and hardly ever get full time work from this family while they are loving it, both working full time with high paying jobs. A few weeks ago the daughter tells me that her dad goes home and takes a shower every day before he picks them up. I'm working ten and a half hour days on average for this family alone. I have another family starting who have one child, they need full time and hours are between 7:30 am and 5:00pm, which is amazing. I had a short term kid who is now leaving me this week for a mat leave, he's been full time within the 7-5 zone and I'm finding I'm getting pretty burnt out after the eleven hour days. I guess what I'm asking is, do you think it's fair for me to ask for extra fees for early drop off and then have a nine hour time limit after which more extra fees will be paid. I also need a full time income from this family. They are a great family, we've become very close with them. On the other hand, they've been abusing our loose arrangement and she routinely brings her kids sick. The older one also has some behavioural issues, when I asked if her mum thought she might be bored and would do better with kids her own age at an after school program she said they didn't want to make more than one stop every day and would go somewhere else for childcare if I felt that way. Even on days when I know she's not going to work she will still schedule six am dropoffs:mad:
She knows I'm having a hard time finding other full time quality families in our area ( everyone seems to work part time, I had to term a family a few months ago due to forgetting to pay me for weeks despite reminders). This family always pays on time at least. Honestly I think I'd like to replace them, I just don't want to work these long hours, I have two kids of my own who don't get much alone time with me. It just isn't working out. Do you think it would be reasonable to ask for extra fees and five days a week? Should I just give them notice and start looking for clients who are a better fit? Am i being a complete asshole? Im worried anout not being able to find new clients :unsure: Any opinions would be much appreciated!

No your not being unreasonable. The average daycare day is 10hrs, like 7-5 for me. Anything outside those hrs I charge more. I charge an hrly fee for early drop offs and late pick ups. U can do whatever works for u. It's ur business and ur daycare. U need to do what works for u and ur family. I only take full time and say no to part time. If they want part time that's fine but they have to still pay all five days. Do u have a contract? If not make one up stating ur hours and days required. And state the fees that u require. It's then up to the parents to stay on board and comply or move on. If ur getting burnt out then replace them. Or charge more so it feels worth it. Do what works and makes u happy to enjoy ur job.

If u don't mind me asking, what fees do u charge? The going rate here for late pickup is $1/minute, I have no idea what to charge for opening an hour early?

Yes here too $1/a min. But I offer evenings, overnights and wkend care. So if arranged and asked before hand if they need to drop off early or pick up late I just charge 12$/hr. But if not arranged and they come late then it's a 1$/min

I think it is pretty common that people who start this business make decisions early on that seem like they will work, but ultimately don't. Live and learn. You are also in the right to be reconsidering a situation that is likely to cause you to burn out quickly. I felt like I was going to burn out in my first couple of years too, with the really long hours and extra hours during the week. I was often asleep on Fridays before 8! But now I am soon going to have my 11th anniversary and no longer so exhausted, so it does get better.

Do you have a written contract or agreement of any kind? It isn't strictly necessary, but can be helpful for situations where you need to set boundaries and expectations. Explain to the parents that your needs have changed and that going forward, you will need them to give you clearly defined hours and days of care and that you will be putting that in writing and then both of you should sign it, to make it formal.

It is a general practise that daycares have set hours and that parents can use any or all of the hours for a set fee. So a standard 10 hr day costs $XX. If they use 3hrs or 10hrs, parents pay the same. It is a nice sentiment to want to work with families and give them what they need and to be flexible, but I think what you have found now is that it is detrimental to you and your family to do too much of that. You are only one person after all! And you don't owe them anything more than great childcare for their children.

You need to not be wishy washy. They are taking advantage of you because you allow it. You need to decide what your working hours are and stick to it. If you want to work outside of those working hours then charge a premium for that.

You need to think long and hard what you want for your business. Make up a contract that reflects that. Give it to this family and tell them that it comes in effect in 1 month. Tell them that the current arrangement is not working and that going forward you need set times/set days/set schedule within your working hours (possibly extended with extra fees if you choose). Then be prepared for their notice and see what happens.

Life is too short. This job is exhausting on the best of days. Don't allow people to walk all over you.

If they do agree to your hours though you cannot be upset if they send the kids even if they are home. As annoying as it is they have every right to bring the kids when you are open.

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Honestly I think I'd like to replace them, I just don't want to work these long hours, I have two kids of my own who don't get much alone time with me. It just isn't working out. Do you think it would be reasonable to ask for extra fees and five days a week?

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I don't get the impression this is about the money. You said yourself that you don't want to work the long hours. Although yes, you should be financially compensated for the long day you work, raising your rates or charging for that extra time doesn't deal with the burn out and the long hours. It actually sends the message to this family that it is acceptable behavior to drop off earlier than agreed and pick up later than agreed as long as they pay for it.

The only way to prevent burn out beyond taking regular time off, is to have maximum hours at a set rate. Extra fees are charged as late fees, but as a penalty, not an additional service. I would hand them 2 weeks written notice of an amendment to your contract stating the contracted hours per day and include the cost. Include that this is not flexible, that late fees apply should they not collect on time, and drop off times should be stuck to unless prior arrangement has been agreed on by both parties, or it will be grounds for immediate termination. If they do not agree to it then the two weeks notice of this change will apply as two weeks notice of termination.

Take control of the situation immediately otherwise this will continue. Burn Out will still occur regardless of your pay cheque and the long days will also stay the same regardless of what you charge. Shorten your hours, increase your rates and give them an ultimatum. Yes they pay you on time, of course they do as they have a good thing going here as they are able to manipulate you and it appears that they think you work for them while they are calling the shots by dropping off and picking up as they please.

We all make mistake with client at first and then sometimes they take advantage. It gone on this long because you enabled it but you know that anyway.

They are not going stop taking advantage because it in their interest and also because they have no reason believe you won't allow it. You are only one who can force change. So what can you do?

Put in writing firm reminder of what agreement was. This include drop off time, expected early pick up times, and the full time care. Let them know if they come early and not pick up early there will be fee for working longer than agreement. Draw up contact with firm agreement and with costs for when they stay longer.

You can start calling them when later for pick up than agreement.

You can replace them.

For me, I would line up replacement. I find if someone take advantage, even if I rein in, I less believing they will start behave reasonable.

Just because these long term client with three places, you not have to tolerate until they decide to leave - and they will as soon as they get better deal.

Right now, you losing income because they only coming three days instead of 5 days which they committed to. That hard for loss with just one place but they taking up 3 of your 6 places. Half your spaces are at 60% capacity. You losing with the extended days which not needed when Mom off work or Dad go home to shower before coming for children. You losing on older child taking space on reduced fees because at school part of day.

If you not have a contract with these people - create one. Or find replacement and let them go. No contract mean no only do they not have give notice, but you don't have to either.

The other problem is that they are my long term reference. And families can be a long time coming in this area, so I would rather have a replacement lined up. I also want to give them a good amount of notice. But how do i replace them without them knowing? I live in a realatively small rural community, most providers and parents use local facebook groups to find each other. I had to term another family for not paying me, among other things, so I'm not going to ask them for a reference. I feel like I don't have a lot of options.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied. This is all great advice. I've just learned about this forum and have found it to be a great resource already. It's so great to have the support:)I knew this job would be hard work but it's way more complicated than I thought it would be!

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Originally Posted by PurpleIris

The other problem is that they are my long term reference. And families can be a long time coming in this area, so I would rather have a replacement lined up. I also want to give them a good amount of notice. But how do i replace them without them knowing? I live in a realatively small rural community, most providers and parents use local facebook groups to find each other. I had to term another family for not paying me, among other things, so I'm not going to ask them for a reference. I feel like I don't have a lot of options.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied. This is all great advice. I've just learned about this forum and have found it to be a great resource already. It's so great to have the support:)I knew this job would be hard work but it's way more complicated than I thought it would be!

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When you started, you not have references from client. So, instead give references from other people been in your care even if not with you now. Or give personal reference like would needed to when opening.

I would advice not to give these people lot of notice - esp if you not have firm contract. They had it all their way for long time and when (if) you give notice, they are going be pissed. Often that mean they will find someone else who inexperienced to put up with same crap you doing and they will just go. If you given lot of notice and have start date for new person several week away, this mean your income gone once this family given notice because they will pull out before that time is up. They will be gone as soon as they have other arrangement in place.

Put this problem client on restricted setting. This mean they can only see what you post with your setting as public. Or better yet, if you not use FB to communicate with family, block them and then they see nothing you post. Being block or restricted mean they not able see your posts in groups.

Use Kijiji Advertise too. This not show your e-mail address now. It show system generated address for your reply to inquiries.

If you don't have contract, I would not give them notice. If you feel you should (not sure why since you not using them for reference anyway) then don't make it more than you can afford to be without income because they will leave. If you not get paid in advance, time notice for end of pay when you had the money from work done because these sort family often leave and not settle final bill. They don't expect you take to court so not worried about non payment when leave.