Children with Special Needs

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08-26-2016 11:19 AM
caringforkiddos

Children with Special Needs

Hello there!

I've been running my In-Home Daycare for about 2 years now and for the most part find it very rewarding. About a year ago I took on a new boy full-time (he was 3 at the time) and he is turning 5 in October. During that time he received an ASD (autism spectrum disorder) diagnoses.

I asked his Mom (a lovely lady who I like a lot) if she would be placing him somewhere else so that he can get the care that he needs from someone professionally trained to work with children with ASD and she said that she would rather he be somewhere where he is comfortable, which made sense to me at the time, and he is quite high functioning so that's not necessarily a problem.

The trouble I'm running into is that even though he isn't displaying many symptoms of ASD we still have struggles like potty training (he isn't even close to being potty trained which is just a personal issue for me because there is a huge difference between changing the diaper of an infant/toddler and an almost 5 year old...yikes), and things like remembering basic manners (especially at the table). He has a different set of expectations because his abilities are more limited. I worry that it's confusing for the other children.

The other issue is that my daughter (who is also 5) will be attending private school next month. I HAVE to drive her there and pick her up. The school hours aren't the same as public school hours so that parents have time to get their other children who may or may not be in public school, but the boy I watch is NOT going to Kindergarten...he's attending a special needs Pre-school and they get out at exactly the same time on opposite ends of the city we live in. I feel like it's his Mom's responsibility to make sure someone is there to pick up her son, and it can't be me, but there is also a 20-30 minute window before I will be home so that he can be dropped off. (There's no one who can wait at the school with him either, the teachers all clear out quickly at 11:30.) His Mom hasn't expressed any frustration but it's certainly stressful! I don't want to feel like I need to rush around being extremely anxious because I only have 15 minutes to race through traffic! We paid a lot for my daughter to attend her school because there is a lot of interaction with the teachers and parents and it would be nice if I could linger a bit in case her teachers want to ask me any questions or need help with anything. (There's no issue with the other children I look after. 2 boys are in first grade and take the bus and the other one is only 2 so he's just along for the ride, ha!).

I LIKE this boy a lot and he is my only full-time kid. He's very sweet and affectionate and is kind towards the other children (if he interacts with them at all). Mostly he just wants to hang out with me all day and I get a bit sick of the constant cuddling, HA, but that's a minor issue and more funny than anything.

I was just wondering if anyone else has dealt with a special needs child and how you handled it? And how you manage the needs of your own children vs your clients? Or if you have any advice on looking after young ones on the autism spectrum (in reference to potty training/table manners)? I get quite frustrated with him because I have to repeat the same instruction many times over or I will take him to the bathroom, he'll go pee, and then as soon as his pants are on he will poop in them. Then of course I feel terrible for even being grouchy about it because I know he can't help it.

Thanks very much in advance and sorry that my first post is so long!!! I appreciate any help at all! :)
08-26-2016 04:20 PM
Suzie_Homemaker

This might not be the popular answer but you contracted with this mom to provide care for her child until either give notice because it not suit you. Transporting daughter to school when you are contracted to working is not okay when you have contractual obligations. I do understand that our family come first but I don't agree with running personal errand on business time. You opt put your child in school knowing that she need transportation. You either have to let client know you not available to provide care when you committed to or find someone else take her. I would be cross if my provider suddenly not able provide service they agreed because they choose do something different in business hours.

That said - you did not commit to collect her child from school either. If she opted to put her child in outside program for part of his normal time with you, it up to her to arrange his transportation. What if you not have car insured for business use? She would have to figure out then.

Personally, I think the combination of your change and her change mean the service agreed not suit either of you. Contract and service and times need be changed and if no agreement made then give notice and she find someone who can pick up her child.
08-26-2016 04:56 PM
caringforkiddos

In general I agree with you. I should have mentioned that during interviews (hers was 2 years ago) I was clear with all of the parents I meet with that I intended on sending my daughters to this particular school and was clear that I would need that time to drop her off and pick her up reserved for the Kindergarten year, and also that we are planning on moving closer to her school. Initially, the boy I look after was going to be going to Kindergarten as well, so the timing wouldn't have been a problem, and she changed her mind about two weeks ago and decided to send him to Preschool for another year (with different pick up/drop off times). I certainly didn't commit to being available and then surprise her at the last minute. (I agree that that would be very bad business on my part.)

I always keep the lines of communication with parents open so that they are never blindsided by anything going on in my house. :)

I suppose I was just looking for validation to not feel guilty that she's in a bit of a bind now. I did my best to be clear and cover my bases.
08-26-2016 05:15 PM
Lee-Bee

Like you I would not do well with needing to rush back to meet the boys parents after the morning pick ups.

So, I think it is best that you give an honest thought to how much time you need to not be rush, to account for traffic, to account for having to chat with teachers and other parents at the school and leisurely get back home. Let the boys mom know now that you can only provide care for her from from X:XX onwards and for her to decide if that will work for them.

They will either realize it is just too many moving parts to pull it off smoothly at your place anymore or they will willingly accept that they need to pick up and provide care until that set time.

BUT....BIG BUT let them know that they CANNOT arrive at your place before that set time. It will just get stressful to arrive home each day to them sitting in their car in your driveway. And it will just create a grey zone of you being home some days early and other days just in time for that set arrival time and then they may start to plan for you to be there at the earlier time and it will just get messy. They NEED to plan to have somewhere else to be until that set arrival time. This needs to be made clear.
08-26-2016 05:58 PM
Suzie_Homemaker

Quote:

Originally Posted by caringforkiddos

In general I agree with you. I should have mentioned that during interviews (hers was 2 years ago) I was clear with all of the parents I meet with that I intended on sending my daughters to this particular school and was clear that I would need that time to drop her off and pick her up reserved for the Kindergarten year, and also that we are planning on moving closer to her school. Initially, the boy I look after was going to be going to Kindergarten as well, so the timing wouldn't have been a problem, and she changed her mind about two weeks ago and decided to send him to Preschool for another year (with different pick up/drop off times). I certainly didn't commit to being available and then surprise her at the last minute. (I agree that that would be very bad business on my part.)

I always keep the lines of communication with parents open so that they are never blindsided by anything going on in my house. :)

I suppose I was just looking for validation to not feel guilty that she's in a bit of a bind now. I did my best to be clear and cover my bases.

Then I think you did all can. You transporting her child was not part of agreement. Would be different maybe if you doing school run to same place but she changed her mind and her son school location. It on her to figure out.

I would just let her know that you not able collect her child when you collecting own at same time from different school and ask her how she plans on getting her child to you once school dismissed. Ball in her court.