Guys, I'm going to cry....again

Oh boy do I feel your pain; I went through the same thing with my 2 year old. He was and remains my challenge. I tried everything punishment wise to get him to stop being so aggressive (like you, this only occurred during daycare hours). The only thing that has helped is to (1) nap him 1 hour later than the others (this way he has one on one with me) and (2) praise him for the positives and make sure he's my helper every chance I get. Also, the little things...let him sit in my lap during story time. Poor you!!

Hi again,

Just for clarification I didn’t say put him on a time out for 20 minutes but I said don’t be afraid to do it for 20 minutes if that’s what it takes? Every child is different and if his aggression is not stopping try to find out what works for him.

I think sometimes we need to try and see the world through there eyes. Think about what he is seeing, he does something be it hit and he gets Mom’s attention. She puts him on a time out then the other kid gets attention it can be confusing.

Maybe put the playpen out of sight of the other kids so he can fully de stress and re-group.

I am a full believer of re-direction but if his aggression is getting more serious so should your time outs.

Whatever your decide stay consistent as that is key!

Well my child was the aggressor when I first opened as well and I had to do things differently with him as well. I never had a child that bit and hit and pushed and pulled hair sometimes all at the same time until this child. I don't agree with using bed as punishment because that's not how I want to associate "bed" but I had to. Time out didn't work it just made him angrier where he would then go and attack..... He saw his bed as "his safe place" so I would take him in and say there is no ..... ( whatever he was doing) and tell him he had to sit down and relax....I would shut the door and leave him there for about 7 or 8 mins and then go in and say "are you ready to come back out and be nice to our friends" he always said yes and he followed through.....the behaviour doesn't occur anymore and hasn't for awile.... But I seriously thought of putting him in a daycare that wasn't mine !!!!

Skysue- I went back and read your response and I totally misread it through tears the first time, so I apologize if my response to you sounded a bit snappy. It really has been a horrible day!! Sorry! I get what you're saying.

Crayola- that was my first thought on the 'bed' thing but I'll keep thatin mind.

The afternoon went better...I let him have his soother while playing and it helped him to remain a lot calmer. Perhaps using it as a transition tool for now will help. *sigh* I love him soooooooooooooo much, that it hurt me how much I disliked him this morning. Does that sound monsterous??? :(

Nope we can totally love some with all our heart and REALLY DISLIKE THEIR CHOICES OR BEHAVIOUR ... my spouse comes to mind in this instance LOVE him but some of his habits drive me to drink ;)

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Originally Posted by Lisa

Skysue-
I love him soooooooooooooo much, that it hurt me how much I disliked him this morning. Does that sound monsterous??? :(

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Oh, I would bet you are getting a unanimous shake of the head here; not monstrous at all. Our children know us best, those buttons to push...and there's the mommy guilt! Hope today's a better day for you. It does get better.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lisa

Skysue- I went back and read your response and I totally misread it through tears the first time, so I apologize if my response to you sounded a bit snappy. It really has been a horrible day!! Sorry! I get what you're saying.

Crayola- that was my first thought on the 'bed' thing but I'll keep thatin mind.

The afternoon went better...I let him have his soother while playing and it helped him to remain a lot calmer. Perhaps using it as a transition tool for now will help. *sigh* I love him soooooooooooooo much, that it hurt me how much I disliked him this morning. Does that sound monsterous??? :(

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Hi,

First of all no offense taken regarding my post! Second there is no parent walking or dead has hasn’t ever felt anger, aggression, disappointment and dislike of there child.

Anyone that tells you different is simply put a liar.

All I can say is you’re not alone and we are hear for you. Through your amazing love for your son you will get through this. It’s not easy sharing your Mom and your amazing son will get through this too!

Hope today goes better for you!

Hugs

Ok well I'm sure I'll get the big thumbs down for this post but I am not a "soother" lover .... I allow them in my dayhome for naptime only and I phase them out very quickly .... I don't agree with letting a child walk around with a soother in their mouth .... It just creates dependence in my opinion and then when you want to take it away then you'll have another reason for the aggression. It's like a bribe ...." I'll give you the soother if you don't hit/bite/pull hair". I can't remember how old your child is but if he is over 1 he shouldn't have a soother ..... The longer your child has a soother after he turns one the harder it is to take away. JMO

Today: SUCH a better day!! A complete 180, ugh!!! Thank goodness!

I hear you on soothers, but i'm more relaxed when it comes to them. My daughter had hers for bed time until she was 2 1/2yrs, wasn't hard to wean and caused absolutely no problems whatsoever. My son is 21 months now and uses his only during sleep time...and if it's helping him transition through whatever is stressing then I personally, don't have a problem with it. Especially since he's mine, you know? Not like I'm letting DCK's walk around with soothers. He'll be fine with it for a few more months, no long term harm done. On that note, he didn't have it at all this morning and did fabulous!

Oh, and thank you all for your support!!!! It's wonderful to know that I can come and vent and not be judged. Thank you!!