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There is a very negative stigma attached to kids with ADHD, so I am sure she is somewhat embarrassed. She wanted you to meet them, and get to know and love them, is what I am thinking.
I hope we don't scare you, but just prepare you for what may come along with the child. As Reggio said, it's nothing to be afraid of; just aware. I would have continued to work with the child I mentioned, were it not for his parents. When his mom went on mat leave, I breathed a sigh of relief and was conveniently "full" when she came looking for care again!!
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Oh, and thanks for the extra info Reggio!! Didn't know that.... and as one who is also not a fan of meds, that must have been a frustrating thing to watch.
:no:
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As a mom with a child with ADHD, I do not advertise that he has it. I let people know on an as needed basis. I do not want my son labelled. He is a very bright, imaginative and creative child and that is what I want people to see him as. Not as Hyper or Inattentive. My son is on medication and there has been a wonderful increase in his self confidence, he can control his impulses and can concentrate on school work. Medication is not bad, it is a means for the child to learn to concentrate and control impulses. Many adults with ADHD only take their medication if they feel they need it, a big exam or important meeting at work, and embrace their free flow of thoughts and creative ideas.
As with any child, the more time they spend outside being active the fewer behaviors will be displayed, the better they are to focus and the better moods they will be in.
As a dayhome provider, we go outside every day. Even if it is just to run in to the back fence and back. We do outdoor projects like gardening, collecting worms, finding bugs, naming trees and plants, exploring the natural world and how things interact.
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I agree lilmonkeys - you do not want a child to be labelled and we do not 'introduce' our son as this is our son Johhny he has ADHD .... however when he was young and not adquetely able to communicate if I were to placing him in the care of someone ELSE I would want them to be informed that he has a medical condition - just like if he had diabetes, epilepsy, MS or any other 'disease' that required special care and consideration because A) I need them to know his treatment plan and the supports he needs in place to 'thrive' despite his affliction and B) I do not want him in the care of someone who does not 'understand' his needs and is not comfortable caring for him - that is not a pleasant experience for anyone ... if I can alleviate and fear and misconceptions it is one thing but if someone is outright 'bias' against children with ADHD and the assumption that it is not a 'disease but a lack of discipline from the parents' it is not going to work.
We have dealt with that over and over in the school system with teachers who 'expect' him to fit into the same teaching mould as all the other children and give us the argument that if we just 'disciplined him he would be able to attend to classes' and so forth and well he does not 'thrive' in some teaching styles - he needs a teacher who gets he is a hands on visual learner and not a 'lecture at him and expect him to remember' learner cause he physically cannot sit still for that long - he needs to be able to get up and move or he starts to 'move' anyway - fidgets and ticks. So when he gets teachers who 'lecture' instead of doing a combination of discussion and hands on opportunities to explore the concept - he fails in that class and gets comments like 'Johnny is disruptive in class, Johnny does not complete is tasks and so forth' :rolleyes:
Now that he is a teenager it is better because he is old enough to advocate for himself and tell teachers 'I need to get up and stretch my legs please' and so forth...but when he lacked the self confidence and was worried about being seen as 'different' it was hard for him when he had a teacher who did not support his needs...which are not unreasonable - I do not have ADHD but I cannot sit still for 90 minutes and listen to someone drone on at the front of the class - I also thrive with a hands on teaching style - I tended to close my eyes and try to picture what the teacher was saying and as a result would 'fall asleep' in class though opposed to be disruptive ;)
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I dont mean to say I wouldnt have taken him on had I known in the phonecall that he had ADHD. And no I dont think it necessary to inform everyone you meet that your child has ADHD. I just think that the person who is going to take on the responsibilty of helping you raise your child should be made aware in a less matter-of-fact by-the-way manner. Especially if it means changing some of the things I do in my daycare (ie not serving fruit for our snacks etc). I dont mean to offend anyone.
Anyhow, I spoke to mom again thismorning and i know a bit more about him specifically so I dont feel so nervous about it anymore. As I said my first impression of him that he was very sweet and my kids got along with he and his brother very well. Im sure once I get to know him it will be good!
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Good to hear that you are feeling more at ease. I hope it goes fantastically for you!!
I completely understand why someone wouldn't want to broadcast this to everyone and their dog. But it's definitely something a caregiver needs to know. I look back on quite a few "incidents" with this little boy I mentioned and think "If only I had known, I would have had some more understanding. Or been able to deal with it BETTER!!"
Live and learn. :)
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lilac-I am happy to here that you and the mom were able to talk, so you can get a better feel for her child. No offence taken, I am a very strong advocate for my son and others who are not "neuro-typical". Like I has said before I want people to see the positives in my son, instead of seeing the ADHD first and missing out on experiences the world as he sees it.
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So our first afternoon together went well! This kid is a sweetie pie, picked me flowers on the way home. Had my name written on the palm of his hand so he wouldnt forget it! And was very sweet to my daugther who usually feels left out b/c of all the boys.
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Awesome news - glad the transition is going smoothly for all!