Terminating

I agree ~ you cannot 'like' every client or every child for that matter ... as long as they are respectful of the contract and paying on time and without conflict and are reasonably respectful of you and the program (self centered PITAS who you hate having to make small talk with morning and night aside) those are the ones you smile at each morning while you envision balloons falling from the ceiling and a band playing the last time they walk through the door on the way to their new adventures!

I have not terminated anyone since working from home but my grounds for 'termination' would be if the client was not paying as per contract or if the child's behavior was a physical danger to the others or was extremely high maintenance that it was taking away from the ability of anyone to thrive in the program cause they were draining all the positive energy out of it ... that said I do have a set of siblings whose last day envisions are going to be like a ticker tape parade around here ~ one of my very first clients from back when I was in the mentality of 'centre care' where you have to just accept any client into care who shows interest ~ we just do not share the same VALUES in hindsight I would never have signed them on if they interviewed NOW because I just no longer want to work with people who do not share my values ~ cause while they pay on time and are nice 'people' having to watch day in and out how they parent their kids just ebbs slowly at my soul for sure ~ their kids are high maintenance ~ not enough to terminate just to make me feel sad for their kids down the road :( But at the time they were a referral from another client and I felt I had to take them even though in the interview she had made a comment that rubbed me the wrong way with her self attitude I ignored it thinking 'oh the people who referred them are so awesome' ~ listen to the gut listen to the gut :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Momof4

Now my interview is a thorough screening of the PARENTS, not the child. I tell the parents up front that I will go through anything and I have had a girl scream for 7 months, a boy scream for 4 months and a girl scream for 2 months who are all still here because their parents did everything possible to help me. It all worked out great.

But you MUST have parents who will work with you as a TEAM. That's my motto. You deserve respect and happiness and peace in your daycare life, not super stress daily. That is just no way to live.

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I agree 100%. My first family that I ever got has been a nightmare. I have gone through mostly everything with them, so I got it all out of the way and learned A LOT of lessons. One of them being that I can handle ANYTHING when it comes to the child. Screaming - fine, hitting - fine, anything. It's the PARENTS that I can't deal with. Uncooperative parents who see this as a drop off center, not as a place where

STUPID ENTER BUTTON IS ALWAYS GETTING IN THE WAY!!

not as a place where WE HELP RAISE THEIR CHILDREN. Now I really watch for interaction between parents and children, see how they react when I say things like Time out, discipline, and I STRESS cooperation and communication in my interview. I like to see their reaction when I mention these things and just how important they are to me. It's even in my policies, that you MUCH communicate anything that could be benefitial to the child (ie: trantrums at home, sleepless nights, anything that could be a cause for concern so I can be prepared).

Anyways, so this is my new thing: interviewing the parents and not the children. There are still some things I look for in the child in case there may be behavioural issues, but at such a young age (I don't take any kids over 3) they so maleable, it's hard to hold it against them. :)

My first family I ever got is a nightmare too. They are the ones I'm saying "bye bye" to this weekend. It's been too long coming. They get away with murder with me. The children are fine. Some hitting over the past year, some poor listening, but nothing I haven't seen in my own children. Their parents though. WOW! For example... Mom sent 2 year old in a pull up yesturday. HE's showing some signs of potty training and I'm supporting it when he prompts it. But she didn't tell me he was wearing a pull up. And then today... back to the diaper. It's a small thing, but it really shows that they're not interested in working with me, they're interested in having me work for them. And I'm not prepared to do that anymore. :)

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Originally Posted by Cocoon

I couldn't agree more. If I have family like that and they bother me I will def. get rid of them as I don't want any negativeness in my house or work place. I even cut my ties with friends who always complains and bad things always! happens to them and they always!!! Are right.

I started getting rid of all the negative people around me 5 years ago And my life couldn't be better. Im happy all the time and there is no problem that can get me down. I think clearly, Im more alert and every year I get younger :):cool:

Don't think twice :)

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Cocoon, I'm loving your Philosophies!

[QUOTE=Judy Trickett;21010]Generally, that rule works. But, sometimes you encounter people you just don't like. They aren't bad people. They pay on time. They follow the rules. They are outwardly "good" people in the sense of the world. But they are just annoying or so self-centered etc that they make you wanna scream. And, often you don't know that personality trait until after they are in care and they start to feel comfortable with you. And, if their kid is great then you likely are NOT gonna terminate a family who otherwise follows the rules and has a pretty good kid just because of the annoyance factor of 5 minutes at the door with the parent twice a day. KWIM?

We can NOT terminate them all. Lord knows I try......:laugh:.... ...but we have to draw the line somewhere.[/QUOTE]

hahahah, so true,

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Originally Posted by apples and bananas

It's a small thing, but it really shows that they're not interested in working with me, they're interested in having me work for them. And I'm not prepared to do that anymore. :)

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That;s exactly what it's like for me too. They never ask for my help. They never even tell me what goes on at home. The little boy BARELY eats ANYTHING and it took them almost 2 months for them to admit he doesn't eat at home. Instead of asking for help, or asking me to work with them, they just deal with alone. I mean, I have plenty of suggestions to help them, and I would offer it to them normally, but they get SO defensive. She was pregnant when they got the position, so I think that to them, this is just a temporary thing that they just have to survive through. I don't think they expected it to be like...A DAYCARE! lol Whatever. They're gone in October, so if I can't find the heart to let them go (I'm a little attached to the boy) beforehand, then at least they're gone then. Some days though, I want to let them go just because I know it will "screw" them over. haha Oh dear. I send home little report cards and announcements and such, and every now and then I'll be like: this is just a reminder that....blah blah blah. Most of the time they fix things, but dad seems like he's a bit of a "rebel" and doesn't like being told what to do so I feel like he fights it a bit. Which is SUPER annoying, but whatever. I'm getting better at being forward and assertive with them.

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Originally Posted by Momof4

I terminated one little girl because she cried nonstop for a month and the Mom wanted me to carry her around. Come on! No! It was my first year and I didn't know what to do, but I knew I couldn't do that and keep my sanity and life was so peaceful when she was gone. I just couldn't buy anything for a while.

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I'm so happy to know someone knows my PAIN!! I'm trying to be good about it. I told myself I'll give them 2...maybe 3 weeks MAX once she is here FT to change, if not then I'll have to give a warning. I don't wan to "screw" them because I like them but for my my health I can't deal with that everyday. Even the 3yr old starts to cry when she sees that the baby is here today. THAT'S A BAD SIGN!

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

I'm so happy to know someone knows my PAIN!! I'm trying to be good about it. I told myself I'll give them 2...maybe 3 weeks MAX once she is here FT to change, if not then I'll have to give a warning. I don't wan to "screw" them because I like them but for my my health I can't deal with that everyday. Even the 3yr old starts to cry when she sees that the baby is here today. THAT'S A BAD SIGN!

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That is a BAD sign! lol the one thing I try to remember is that if a baby is SO sensitive that he or she cries continously for that long, they're a cryer. Plain and simple, they will most likely be one of those kids who cries at the drop of a hat. Not always, but the chances are good. So, you have to decide, are you willing to put up with that kind of behavious/personality? I don't think it's bad to admit that your personalities don't mix. There are things that one should work on when owning a daycare, instead of terminating, but there are things that our out of our control that can really be detrimental to our business.