New DCG started and all she does is cry

Ugh, I've done this many times as well. And in my last location, which was very rural and out of the way, I never terminate because you just DON'T when you don't know when the next one might come along. Soooo, I developed a few tricks to get through the tougher ones. First, find their 'thing' and do it as much as you need to get through the initial period. So far, with most of my difficult ones, it has been walks. Pack up the stroller and snacks and hit the trail for a good, long walk every (I mean long if that's needed) every day. Sit beside them and do something really fun, different beside them. I learned to never push myself on a child when working in daycare centres. They almost never respond well to that. But doing something peripherally without the pressure on them to interact with you, sometimes works. My big guns, after other things have failed....take the kids out somewhere public....outside of the difficult child's comfort zome. At that point, become the familiar source of comfort. Often times though, I find it's having gthat one awesome moment when you find that one thing that gets a smile...then it just snowballs from there. I've never terminated, like I said, out of necessity due to location. I've had some tough, tough, tough kids, but they ALWAYS come around eventually. They just need patience.

Keep the corkscrew and wine bottle in plain sight for inspiration to get you to the end of the day :)

so here is my update for today. She came in crying and kept going for about 30 minutes or so. then she calmed down and started showing signs of being tired and hadnt slept well through the night so up to bed at 9am. she cried going up the stairs but laid right down and not a peep out of her. She had a full hour nap which was awesome and played fairly well until lunch with only a few crying periods. Lunch was good although she has a bad habit of throwing food on the floor but I think she is realizing that im not tolerating that. After lunch again, we had oubursts of crying but she play fairly well, loved when we had music on loud for dancing and up to bed for nap and again right to sleep with no crying. Sounds good right? she only stayed asleep for 40 minutes and has been yelling for the last hour. I'm a firm believer of letting them CIO and learn to self soothe, she needs more sleep that she allows herself. She's just mad and has a very strong personality so upstairs she will stay until naptime isover. Ive seen improvement for sure especially because she isnt screaming herself to sleep but she has to learn to nap for 2 hours. Its obvious she needs it because after sleeping only an hour yesterday afternoon, she was ready to sleep again before mom came. Had a long chat with mom last night and she wants her to learn to sleep longer and admitted that she'snever had a proper sleep pattern. She's such a sweet person so I'm willing to put in the time as long as she's working with me. I also learned that when at home if DCG woke up early from nap, she would go in a nurse her and she'd go back to sleep. I said thats fine to do if your planning on being a stay home mom but its only going to make her transition here more difficult and she agrees but like so many new moms, is having trouble letting go. Hopefully progress will continue. what i'm really dreading is Monday after 2 days of not being here. Thanks for all the advice ladies, always appreciated.

Glad to hear yours is doing a bit better :) I have another new one who is a dream all day and never cries, but also struggles to sleep more than an hour at naptime...I also believe in CIO, so i don't stress...he stays in bed until naptime is over...he will get it eventually! However, my problematic dcb is still crying a lot...although we did have some progress this morning...I was actually able to get him to play on the floor for a little bit without crying...although I had to be sitting right there with him. I am sending out a warning to parents tonight (he won't be here tomorrow) that one more week of this is all I can do...if I don't see significant improvement by the end of next week, I just can't take the stress of it anymore. I have another new child starting on Monday and am dreading having the screamer and the new child (thanfully an older child)...plus we haven't been able to do most of the Halloween activities I had planned for the kids due to the crying (they can't hear me, I can't hear them...stress level rises). I am going to give it everything I've got next week and hope he settles, but I am starting to think maybe he doesn't know how to play on his own in the first place. I have also made suggestions to the parents in that regard. I wish you all the best with naptime! That can take many weeks to get sorted out, but it will if you stay strong!

Kids coming into care often have no idea to play. They are used to being entertained by the parent. Hand them a toy or worse yet put a pile of 2-3 in front of them and they just look at you. It is really sad when our "lessons" for kids are based on the toy of the day and what it can do.

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Originally Posted by playfelt

Kids coming into care often have no idea to play. They are used to being entertained by the parent. Hand them a toy or worse yet put a pile of 2-3 in front of them and they just look at you. It is really sad when our "lessons" for kids are based on the toy of the day and what it can do.

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This is what I find too. They have no idea how to actually play with a toy because mom/dad/gramma whoever always does the entertaining. I have one little one who literally clings to my leg (she's 2) and just stares at the other kids as if they are doing something alien related. I'm a firm believer in imagination so I DON'T show them what the toys do because then that toy only does that one thing...I let them CHOSE what the toy does so then a toy can become so many different things! Parents need to stop being the entertainment source for their children, makes daycare so much harder...

Enjoy your day today and I hope that mom and dad pay attention to your suggestion and fingers l
crossed that it all works out for you next week. Clearly you are very dedicated so this little boy will be very lucky to have you in his life.

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Originally Posted by sunnydays

Glad to hear yours is doing a bit etter :) I have another new one who is a dream all day and never cries, but also struggles to sleep more than an hour at naptime...I also believe in CIO, so i don't stress...he stays in bed until naptime is over...he will get it eventually! However, my problematic dcb is still crying a lot...although we did have some progress this morning...I was actually able to get him to play on the floor for a little bit without crying...although I had to be sitting right there with him. I am sending out a warning to parents tonight (he won't be here tomorrow) that one more week of this is all I can do...if I don't see significant improvement by the end of next week, I just can't take the stress of it anymore. I have another new child starting on Monday and am dreading having the screamer and the new child (thanfully an older child)...plus we haven't been able to do most of the Halloween activities I had planned for the kids due to the crying (they can't hear me, I can't hear them...stress level rises). I am going to give it everything I've got next week and hope he settles, but I am starting to think maybe he doesn't know how to play on his own in the first place. I have also made suggestions to the parents in that regard. I wish you all the best with naptime! That can take many weeks to get sorted out, but it will if you stay strong!

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Today Day 8: Still screaming everytime I put him down! Even sitting at circle/learning time...as soon as I place him on the floor in front of me off my lap...screams! Tried a playpen & exersaucer...screams . Screams for 1 whole hour on average in playpen at naptime (I've just had to resort to letting him cry it out for my sanity)... then naps for 2 hours. I now have a really sore shoulder; can hardly lift my arm (I think more from stress than injury). So, today, I decided to just let him scream. 2 hours, 12 minutes of constant screaming (honestly took every ounce of patience/resolve I possess)....and then 'voila' done...now has been playing for 10 minutes....the first time in 8 days not being attached to my hip....arrgggg. I was so concerned with soothing him, not traumatizing the child...meanwhile making myself and the other children bananas when I should have just left him. Yet another lesson my DCKs have taught me;)

Here's hoping it's only better from here on out, Dream!!

How's it going Dream and Gramma? Mine is finally settling in although it's one step forward one step back some days. However, as he is actually progressing, I don't think I will let him go. He's a sweet little guy and naps well, just has a hard time playing on his own...but it's improving a lot now! I do NOT carry him around and didn't after the first day or two as my back would have been a wreck like Dream! Sitting next to him on the floor helps a lot...he seems to get the security to start playing...but I don't let him climb onto my lap as that defeats the purpose. Hope you ladies are seeing improvement too!

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Originally Posted by sunnydays

How's it going Dream and Gramma? Mine is finally settling in although it's one step forward one step back some days. However, as he is actually progressing, I don't think I will let him go. He's a sweet little guy and naps well, just has a hard time playing on his own...but it's improving a lot now! I do NOT carry him around and didn't after the first day or two as my back would have been a wreck like Dream! Sitting next to him on the floor helps a lot...he seems to get the security to start playing...but I don't let him climb onto my lap as that defeats the purpose. Hope you ladies are seeing improvement too!

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Whew! What a week, huh? Yesterday was definitely better. He did scream when I put him down, but this time only for about 10 min. then went off and happily played. He's finally eating & drinking pretty well (very picky). Naptime is getting better too, a good solid 45 min. Nap...let him CIO for the rest...but even that was an improvement, he was just babbling to himself mostly, instead of screaming. Light at end of a very noisy tunnel;)