So tired and sad today.

Wishing you strength to get through this tough day. Have a quiet day with the kiddos. Free play is good for them and it's okay to tell them that you feel sad.

Grieving is one of the hardest things we have to go through, but it helps to heal us and make us stronger. *HuGs*

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Momof4

Jo, December is my difficult month because we lost my Dad really quickly to a brain tumour 4 years ago Dec. 28th. I was a complete mess that day a couple weeks ago so I know exactly how you feel. Big hugs from me.

My Mom is strong and we are best friends. I call her every other day at least and I promised my Dad when he was letting go that I would take good care of her. I'm in tears now with you. We have to let ourselves feel the grief as it hits us because it's part of the healing process. I can finally look at pictures of my Dad and smile and treasure all the good memories.

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Thank you so much. I call my Mom all the time as well. She lives about 15 mins away so we see her a lot too. She is a strong woman as well and went through hell for the last six weeks of my Dad's life, she was the caregiver and had to deal with sleepless nights, my Dad's agitated state and his pain. He spent the last two weeks of his life in the hospital and might have lived a little bit longer if they had not brought a patient into his room that had a horrible cough, I am guessing pneumonia, three days after that man was put in Dad's room, Dad started declining fast. We do not know his exact cause of death, I think he was septic because his organs just started shutting down and he was oozing everywhere and was swollen. He passed quickly as far as we know, no one was there with him because it happened at breakfast time and my Mom had not arrived yet.

I was my mother's full-time caregiver for the last two years of her life, and I think that made it even more difficult. I felt cast adrift when she died; like my whole purpose was gone. Sounds melodramatic, I know, and I have a great husband, three grown-up children with life partners I adore, and now two wonderful little granddaughters. But it was still just horrible. Opening my daycare has helped as I feel I'm doing something worthwhile again (somehow, being a university professor never did feel very worthwhile, although it's a good part-time job and I appreciate the income). I went to get some grief counselling, and the counsellor pointed out that a big problem was the fact that my dad died when I was little, 45 years ago, and we never talked about it in my family. No one wanted to upset anyone else, so no one mentioned my dad to me after the funeral, at least until I was an adult with children of my own. The other thing my counsellor said was to expect the "TUG's" and not let them worry me. That stands for "temporary urges of grief" that come up suddenly even years later. He said that's normal. So when I have a day where I'm sad and tired all over again, I realize it's normal and not a sign that I'm getting worse again. Hope that makes sense. I found it very helpful!