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This title and post made me laugh because I am in the exact situation. My son is 3.5 years old and daughter is 1.5 years old and they are by far, the ones that challenge me the most. I have done all the above recommended things such as separate his toys, give him special privileges or allow him to help with decision making etc...
The things that work best with my son are firstly to give him 1:1 time at break for 5-10 minutes, take him aside when things are not going well to give him a big hug and discuss things calmly (even when he is driving me crazy) and reporting back to his dad about his day, as we would do with the other kids and their parents. He is so proud to talk about the good things he did and embarrassed to share the not so good. His behavior during the day will influence the course of the evening, having a special treat or activity on really good days or losing privileges on bad days.
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Since my husband works late and sometimes travels I am the one who takes care of my son during and after daycare hours. Lately I have found that an activity that we both like and make us re-connect after daycare hours is cooking. After all kids are gone and I get to make dinner or prep for next day he sits in a high chair and I give him kitchen utensils and ingredients that I am using. He ask for the ingredients and he pretends cooking and tries almost every ingredient. We turn music on and get to cooking. Besides having a good time, I get to do my chores in peace and he is getting to try new foods he did not wanted before...
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I went through this with my DD but to make it work I separated all her toys with the daycare toys. She kept hers in her room, I made it extremely clear that if she insisted on bringing any of her toys downstairs in the play room then she has to share. If anything was left out and got mishandled or broken it was her choice to bring it down.
All daycare toys have to be shared as they are completely not hers they belong to "Mom's" daycare. I took her out with me to Once Upon a child and Value Village to get some new daycare toys to have in the playroom, she enjoyed helping me find toys that the kids would like.
She was free to go and play in her room if she felt like playing with her own toys but she never did as she enjoyed playing with the others kids more.
I never put my daughter on time outs like the other kids if she misbehaved she was always sent to her room as she still is. She is not in daycare she us at home so I stay consistent for her in regards to discipline. So far it has worked out well, my DD is now 5 and I have been doing daycare since she was 2 1/2.
Even still there are some days that I wished to kick my own child out of daycare! LoL
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Wow. So glad I found this. I am about to open our home for a childcare and one of my biggest concerns is how my 3 yod will react/deal with it in her home. Some great ideas here. Thanks!
