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This makes me mad to read that parents would punish this child for wetting her bed while sleeping!!! When we are asleep, we cannot necessarily control what our bodies do...this takes time to get! If I were you, I would tell the parents that you cannot and will not punish a child for such a thing and that making her sit out at snacktime is actually more like abuse than discipline (well you might not want to say it like that...LOL). Let her wear a pull-up until she is able to control her bladder while sleeping. She isn't aware that she is doing it...she cannot possibly be doing something on purpose while she is asleep!!! This is ludicrous! Honestly, I am not sure if I would even want to work with these parents...but definitely you need to put your foot down and tell them that you will not do these things at daycare and pull-ups need to be provided for sleep time (or waterproof training pants).
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Also make sure the child isn't waking up sooner from nap than the get up time. I know when I wake up I have to go right away so be sure that as soon as she wakes she gets to go instead of having to lay quietly till time is up if that is possible.
For sure the home situation sounds like it is probably contributing to the issues.
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the other family moved in around january. ( when she started wetting more frequently) and its been everyday for the past month or so!
When i've put the pull up on her today she was crying so much it was heart breaking... hopefully stopping to make a big deal out of it will help a little
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It could be that there is so much confusion going on at home that she is overwhelmed and overtired so that when she gets the chance to actually sleep she is sleeping so deeply that she missese the sensations that normally wake someone to use the bathroom. If it is happening only while sleeping and not during the play day then I don't see how it is related to anythign other than overtired.
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Ask her if she has the toilet dream. My son is a night time bed wetter, and he's a heavy sleeper. He's told me a few times that he dreams he's at the toilet. I was a bed wetter when I was a kid, and it was the same thing. I personally believe you can't punish a child for wetting in their sleep. I would've done the same, buy a cheap pack of pull ups and take the stress off of her.