It is a difficult thing to get things sorted out, hopefully you find something that works. In a few months I think you will find it easier to deal with the needs of your child as she gets more mobile and capable and understands more. Good luck!
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I've been wanting to reply to this post since you started the post (crazy busy week!)
I'm in the exact same position. My son turned two yesterday and he is my most challenging. I'm I surprised? Nope! Just like dcp say their kids don't listen or eat how they do here at dc, it's because I'm not mom and dad, dck usually listen much better at dc or at school. I find it challenging as he's not like that when dck leave.
I have tried almost everything. He has come a long way from when I started but he's still has a long way to go. He is very territorial, he defends his space, he just really doesn't like others to play with his toys. I've even put his favorite toys in a bin away from dck so that he has them just for him when dc closes. Didn't help much.
I will keep a close eye on this post and see if anyone has a suggestion of something I haven't tried.
Good luck to you Lee-Bee! I know how tiring it can be some days. At least it is for me!
I'm luck that our daycare is completely separate of the house so as she grows my daughter will know that the toys in the daycare are no more hers than they are any of the daycare kids. I'm really hoping that helps with some of the troubles of growing up in a daycare!
I hold out great hopes that come Monday she's eased a bit with the separations. Wearing her is helping keep things calm in the meantime.