Not sending requested clothing

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Originally Posted by AmandaKDT

It isn't an agency that I'm with in Manitoba, being licensed here means I am just regulated by the government. I could use this as violation of my contract and consider it grounds for termination, there isn't anything stopping me from doing so. I could contact my coordinator for advice though.

I don't want to buy any clothing either, it isn't my responsibility. I can't see myself going out and buying this girl boots and splash pants, that is way more than having an extra pair of mitts.

We play outside every morning and then in the afternoon when she returns from school. It is possible for her to be outside while in my care for over an hour, depending on the weather.

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There is for sure a big difference between buying some 2nd hand spares for 2 and 3 year olds but for an 8 year old, I understand why you wouldn't want to buy anything and no it isn't your job either.

This is one of my big things that I go over parents with at the interview. We got outside. Period. Your child needs to be comfortable (warm, dry, etc) enough to last our entire outdoor play time, which varies.

Fast forward and I have to keep reminding. Like you. So I changed my rules. If your child comes without the proper gear, you get a phone call to either drop the stuff off OR pick up your child for the day. And I put a time limit on it.

I have one family who has forgotten outdoor items 4 times since January, at least 3 times the previous fall. Each time they have had to leave work and get the stuff to bring to me.

I have another family whose child only wants to wear rain boots. (dcg is 2). "her feet are too cold" at the end of the day is enough for them to force her to wear proper footwear the next day. If they hadn't, I would have called and said to bring the proper gear.

I think you need to put this back on the family. Either they have the proper stuff, or dcg doesn't stay. This family will not change until you enforce your rules.

Being that the kid is older, I would just say that she goes out in whatever she comes in. If she is complaining that she is cold, then tell the parents that she can't come back tomorrow without proper gear.

Put the problem back on them. It is their child and their responsibility to see that she is dressed properly.

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Originally Posted by bright sparks

It is an ongoing topic that comes up at every season change on here and it becomes evident quickly who the seasoned providers are. I have found that they are the ones who have learnt that this is a never ending battle which effects the children and never seems to be resolved fully. These particular providers posted last year that they do not stress over this anymore and have a box of 2nd hand stuff for spares. I got into an argument, even though I didn't argue she just had a bit of a rant at me, but a parent got very annoyed at me last spring because I repeatedly asked her for rainboots. She said she couldn't find any small enough but was continuously looking and asked me to get off her case as it made her feel like she was doing an inadequate job as a mother. It was never my intention to make her feel like this and I was always very nice about it. She was always picking at me whenever I made a request so obviously overly sensitive, that being said though, nobody deserves to be made to feel like they are inadequate as a mother and once I found out that she was constantly looking and felt that way, I felt pretty bad for her. It doesn't change the need for proper clothing, but there is a simple solution which is spend 10-15 bucks at the thrift store on spares or keep your kids old things and hey presto, no problems in this department and if parents bring their own set of spares, then all the better. Obviously this would work for a group of younger children but the idea of having a spare of everything for each age group Is ridiculous lol You'd need another closet and it' way beyond the role of a dcprovider too. It was the move I made after that incident and after last years posts and I am less stressed because I have done something about this situation which is proactive rather than bang my head against a brick wall with the parents who just don't get it.

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Yes definitely a set of clothes for each age/size would be a large collection! I don't keep too many smaller sizes on hand because I can send a 2 year old home in size 3 or 4 clothing. Unless I've sent their child home in my spare clothes, most parents don't even know I have some on hand because I do want them to supply it as that is their job as a parent. It's just less of a headache for me to have a few articles of clothing for the odd time there needed.

Today for example, a dcb had rubber boots but they are a tad too big because they couldn't find a smaller pair. I put him in the spare pair I have because they are his size but won't even mention that to his parents.

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Originally Posted by bright sparks

I see the issue with snow boots instead of rain boots for keeping feet dry but if the child brings snow pants instead of splash pants they should be fine so pick your battles. It would appear that you have asked more than enough times. Do not take this out on the child regardless of the parents behaviour, it is not fair to the child and could just make other problems come up. This is an 8 year old not a two year old who is going to be much more severly effected by being penalized by being left out as a result of her parent's behaviour...have a heart. An eight year opld is going to hate her parents, hate you, and feel bad about themselves as a result of you isolating them from the group activity when there is nothing they can do about it, and oh yes, it won't actually produce any clothing. Never use the child as a pawn. Instead, tell the parents flat out that if they do not bring her with the proper attire, that she can not attend. You don't need to explain why she needs them as you have already done this repeatedly. Why not try a different approach and confront them about the real problem "Why is it that after repeated requests you still don't bring her in appropriate clothing?" It is an open question so no shrugging of shoulders or yes or no answers and maybe you will in fact find out that they don't have an extra $20 to splurge on their child. Also off season these items can be very hard to get hold of so maybe they have looked briefly and either not found anything or the options they have found are to pricey for their budget. Rather than assuming ask the questions and find out the facts. Maybe having a frank and honest conversation rather than just repeatedly telling them which clearly doesn't work, you will be in a better position to offer kind advice on where to look. Once again I say that you should not accept the child into care until spare clothes are sent and appropriate outdoor clothing too. This would be the biggest threat to them of not having childcare so they should be more willing to come up with a solution pronto as a result.

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I was trying to have a conversation with the dad, but it wasn't happening as all I got back was the shrugging shoulders. This isn't the first time with the shrugging shoulders either, I got the same response other times as well about forgotten clothing.

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Originally Posted by AmandaKDT

I was trying to have a conversation with the dad, but it wasn't happening as all I got back was the shrugging shoulders. This isn't the first time with the shrugging shoulders either, I got the same response other times as well about forgotten clothing.

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Then for sure I would just tell him that she will be turned away at the door without proper clothing and then stick to your guns and don't back down. When he pulls his face just be sure to remind him of the numerous conversations you have tried to have.

I absolutely hate the excuse that parents can't find the item or the right size. I sent out a reminder a month ago while the stores were stocked and the snow was still on the ground! Not my fault you left it until the last minute. Drives me crazy!!

I have only once had to have a child sit out during playtime for lack of clothing. Mom was a scatter brain and didn't bring snow pants in the middle of winter. I wrapped the 3 year old up in a blanket and put him in my wagon. He wasn't happy but so be it. I wasn't about to punish the rest of the kids and not allow outside time because one mom can't get her act together. When she picked up and boy told her how sad he was that he didn't get to play with the other kids then she finally got it! It never happened again. I have had parents run home and get things and that is because my policy states that a child will have to sit out and they don't want it to happen.

When it comes to the splash pants vs. snow pants I wouldn't worry about it too much until the child starts complaining she is too hot. If it bothers you that much though I would tell them that they are in violation of your contract and that is grounds for termination. Lets see them shrug that off!!

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Originally Posted by mickyc

I absolutely hate the excuse that parents can't find the item or the right size. I sent out a reminder a month ago while the stores were stocked and the snow was still on the ground! Not my fault you left it until the last minute. Drives me crazy!!

I have only once had to have a child sit out during playtime for lack of clothing. Mom was a scatter brain and didn't bring snow pants in the middle of winter. I wrapped the 3 year old up in a blanket and put him in my wagon. He wasn't happy but so be it. I wasn't about to punish the rest of the kids and not allow outside time because one mom can't get her act together. When she picked up and boy told her how sad he was that he didn't get to play with the other kids then she finally got it! It never happened again. I have had parents run home and get things and that is because my policy states that a child will have to sit out and they don't want it to happen.

When it comes to the splash pants vs. snow pants I wouldn't worry about it too much until the child starts complaining she is too hot. If it bothers you that much though I would tell them that they are in violation of your contract and that is grounds for termination. Lets see them shrug that off!!

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I also sent out a reminder a month ago, stating the exact fact that seasonal clothing sells fast is often not restocked. But this family had no intention of getting the stuff at all. :-(

It is more the rubber boots than the splash pants, though I would prefer both. I have an older group and will take them to go play in big puddles and do all sorts of stuff that you can't do if not dressed appropriately.

I guess we will see what the afternoon holds. The dcg will be wearing her full snow suit and winter boots this afternoon and it is +10 outside right now.