Increasingly nervous parents

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Originally Posted by 2cuteboys

I agree. I've never had a full-copter type parent, but I have one attachment-y type who will point out any little scratch or red mark her child has at the end of the day. She's never accusatory, in fact she'll say "oh I never even know how he gets these at home" or "these things happen." But she feels the need to mention it every.damn.time.

I think it's ok to get annoyed with certain things families do. We wouldn't like every single thing about everyone we worked with out of the house right? We can be professional despite our differences, right?

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Totally agree!! I am very professional even when I disagree with a parent. I had one family leave and even though they were good about it, I have a feeling it was partly due to our differences. The dad always thanked me for being professional and working with them to solve conflicts with their child. I think dad much preferred the way I handled their child but mom did not and therefore dad followed mom's steps (which is totally understandable but I just wanted to shake the dad and tell him to be more of an advocate for his child and stand up to mom and change the way they parented or they were in for one hell of a ride when she gets older). Oh well, not my child and not my out of control teen that they are going to have

I have come across parents like this. Sometimes it's not even based on something a Dr has said, just their own fears/worries over every little thing. For example a Dr mentions the child is in a lower percentile for weight or something. Mom keeps thinking about it later and works herself all up thinking child is not developing properly.

I agree with Wonderwiper. It sounds like mom wasn't even at the appointment? I would just assume that she twisted something the doc said to fit her fear and is working everyone up. What a way to live!!

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Originally Posted by Lee-Bee

I agree with Wonderwiper. It sounds like mom wasn't even at the appointment? I would just assume that she twisted something the doc said to fit her fear and is working everyone up. What a way to live!!

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While this makes complete sense, she was at the appointment. She met hubby and her son there. Even if I thought she didn't, I really can't question whether or not she was telling the truth. If she says Dr said something then I have to take her at her word. I find an increasing amount of Dr's are saying the strangest things these days with regards to early childhood. She herself thought it was ridiculous but then in the next breath wants me to do as the Dr says. I told her I would continue to offer water and she was fine with that. I don't provide milk anyway so its not like I have anything to substitute it with and he already doesn't drink milk here at all. We discussed how big his appetite was and that filling him up with milk every time he is thirsty is not the best way to keep him well hydrated without it potentially having a negative impact on his appetite. This kid eats like a horse and anyone who would see him would agree that there is no issue with his sizing or weight. Not even low percentile, just perfectly average. That doc is nuts!!

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Originally Posted by Wonderwiper

I have come across parents like this. Sometimes it's not even based on something a Dr has said, just their own fears/worries over every little thing. For example a Dr mentions the child is in a lower percentile for weight or something. Mom keeps thinking about it later and works herself all up thinking child is not developing properly.

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I have no idea what it must be like in this woman's head. I honestly would like to smack her in the head and tell her to pull herself together lol If she was my friend that is exactly what I would do haha. This isn't a question of parenting style, this is anxiety on her part which results in potential problems with her child because she isn't thinking straight. Her husband is the polar opposite and while I understand he likely just wants to support her so she feels better, I wish he would tell her otherwise when she is blowing things out of proportion that would be more supportive versus reinforcing her overthinking of things when its totally wrong.

I'm feeling your pain. I have a family a lot like what you described here, Mom is the AP one, Dad is the laid back one and rolls his eyes a bit, but at least I've made the gentle suggestions to him and he's run it by the Mom, so I don't have to say it to her, hehe. Works great by the way, try it out!

My policy is that a child has to be home 48 hours after any vaccinations, so Fridays must be the days they are done. I explain to the parents that they want their child home with them in case of any adverse reactions and I will not administer over the counter drugs. So my dcparents understand that up front and it takes all the liability and responsibility off me. I don't ever want to deal with a febrile seizure at daycare!

My AP child has been here for a year and a half and still cries daily - at age 2.5! He is so manipulative and such a victim. He can't do anything! It works on his Mom, but not on me. But I have had talks with her about the kind of person she is raising and imagining him as a teenager and an adult in business using manipulation to control the people around him. That got her attention.

One more thing, Bright Sparks, have you made the same vow I have? At interviews I bring up different parenting styles including AP and ask point blank if they know about it or subscribe to any of the views. My vow - Nobody is coming in here with that kind of parent style ever again.

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Originally Posted by Momof4

One more thing, Bright Sparks, have you made the same vow I have? At interviews I bring up different parenting styles including AP and ask point blank if they know about it or subscribe to any of the views. My vow - Nobody is coming in here with that kind of parent style ever again.

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I am nodding my head yes to all of this.

Lol !! I'm laughing because I'm a total hover mother !!! I'm over the top with my dd !! If she goes with family and comes back with a mark on her , before I can stop myself I'm asking ,"ouch what happened there?" Lol she is spoiled ( but not bratty ) prob looked after too much !! My sister just went with me to watch her play soccer and she was laughing , amazed I didn't have her bubble wrapped ! Lol whatever !!
As a hover mother I get it ! The difference is I don't expect others to treat her like I do ! If I had her in a day home , I would have to calm myself just like your dcm should !
I can imagine it is aggravating having to deal with her constant fears !! Hopefully she will relax and forget charts and "norms " and just enjoy her child.