Help me ladies....new kid woes.

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Originally Posted by SevenwatersDaughter

Life is too short to put up with that! If you have enough interest in your day care that you can fill that spot, cut her loose. I can't stand parents who don't socialize their child at all and then expect them to transition to day care perfectly.

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I don't think her parents had any expectation or thought outright that their provider would deal with it so it wasn't worth their time. They live in a rural location and during mat leave only the working parent had a car. No local store, library etc within walking distance and family are out of town. All things that should have been considered prior to mat leave but then how do we know they weren't? Perhaps this wasn't a choice for them on a limited income during mat leave. I can understand their thinking and as first time parent's, likely with little guidance being so isolated, they didn't know any better and thought that it wouldn't be such an issue. They sure aren't selfish or empty headed as they are pretty amazing in how they work with me and her on this situation. In fact they are a breath of fresh air to be honest, I just wish that socializing had been something that was a prominent part of the little girls first year, but some things aren't always within our means.

Has she improved ?? I think socializing plays a part but the child's temperament and personality matters more ! I have 5 children , 4 of them are leader type personalities and one isn't . Parenting style , socializing ect all the same but she was the hardest to push forward into life and still is ! I think you are doing an awesome job working through this transition as crying non stop would drive me batty ! They are lucky to have you because I personally just couldn't do it !!

I don't have any advice right now. I'm sorry. I feel for you. I'm going through the screaming also. I will definetley follow this thread to see if I can pick up on something that might. I don't want to term either. I just turned away about 3 people 2 weeks ago. Poop on me.

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Originally Posted by Secondtimearound

Has she improved ?? I think socializing plays a part but the child's temperament and personality matters more ! I have 5 children , 4 of them are leader type personalities and one isn't . Parenting style , socializing ect all the same but she was the hardest to push forward into life and still is ! I think you are doing an awesome job working through this transition as crying non stop would drive me batty ! They are lucky to have you because I personally just couldn't do it !!

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There are for sure different levels of socialization but its very different when a child is with mom 10-12 hours a day 1 on 1 with no other adult or child for a full year. I think this is pretty significant vs a kid who either goes to an early years centre a couple times a week or a child who has regular visits to and from other adults and kids. Mom and baby groups aren't for everyone but socializing by way of interaction with the world is so important so to have almost complete absence of that, which her mother has made very clear was the case, it's going to have a noticeable impact on a child. Paired with her personality type and the type of relationship formed with that constant, mom, it makes separation anxiety and attachment issues much greater than the average.

She is improving slowly but surely and I think a lot of that comes from the adjustments mom has made at home and her consistency here. I think being in a routine has helped tremendously also since prior to daycare the child was on demand feeding and sleeping and everything in between. Mom has now got her doing everything at the same time every single day and it shows how much better her daughter is. As frustrating as the whole thing is, I'm just happy that the parents have taken my lead and constantly want to do what works best for my daycare routine and what will ultimately have their daughter happy and settled, as quickly as possible.