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In my day home I have had numerous children with eating issues. One in particular was fed with a tube when he came. In each and every case the issues had nothing to do with food, and everything to do with behavior. The example you have stated op is the exact same thing imo. The child would not even try the food because it was a control issue.
We live in a country and society where we are not grateful for the abundance of food we have, nor do we do much to teach gratitude for that food to our youngsters.
There are three areas where children do have control. Sleeping, toileting and eating. Those are also the three areas where the biggest power struggles happen between adult and child I have found.
In my day home I do not force a child to eat anything. I place a VERY small amount of each item on their plate. An amount that any small child would be able to eat. In this way it is guaranteed that if they didn't eat it, it cannot be due to them being full. They may not have seconds of any food until their plate is cleared. It is assured they are going to at least try each thing. After that if they want seconds or more of any item they are welcome to that.
In my home with my family and day home, we do not say we don't like anything. Should the child not eat their food, they are welcome to eat that later on. I will not throw out the food, nor will they. My garbage is not for food in my home, because throwing food away does not show value to the food we have or gratitude for it.
Also, the children are educated here as to what the purpose of food is and how we fuel our bodies to do the fun activities we do. Should a child not eat their food, they will be laying down in our main room while the others play. They can choose to get their fuel from rest or food. Edited to say: That also if they are not capable of eating the very small amount of food they have been given the chances of them being sick is likely, so laying down with some water close by is a good idea as well.
The ones that use food as a control method have a very hard time here the first week. They quickly see all the other children doing so well, getting seconds and thirds of what they want and playing happily. They more often than not, go and quickly eat up their food and play with the children.
Food does not stay an issue here for long, even though it remains that way at home often.
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I agree with your rule and follow the same thing. I do agree though that since it's temporary care I wouldn't waste my nerves on this....but I understand how it wears you down! good luck!
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Oh by the way, I also have a little boy in my daycare who won't eat food that touches or is combined. I have to keep meat, breads, veggies all separated on his plate. Shepherd's pie or a lovely pasta dish - he calls it disgusting! He's here until Sept. and after 3 years of this I'll finally be able to serve more creative dishes, yay, hooray! We meet the funniest little weirdos in our profession, don't we? Good thing they are so darned cute!
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That is one of the reasons I dont' use a section dish even for infants - the puree sort of gradually mixes from one area to another so the last mouthfuls of each are a new taste experience. I do use large plates for the kids and try to put the food on with space for those that have issues with this but if it touches and they don't eat it well that is their choice. There is no tolerance for not eating the ones that aren't touching such as he can eat the mashed potatoes up to the meat part or eat the meat part from the other side up to the potato part and then I would likely have served more veggies on the side which would be separated as much as possible. He can have the dislike of combo if he wants but he has to learn to live within your definition of combo - eat as much of the food as you can till you reach the combo section and then stop if you must but that is it.
