Needing opinions !!

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Originally Posted by Secondtimearound

Lol , I had a visual of little hospital onesies with gloves and face masks !!!
5lm you have a point !! I'm not sure why feet seem dirtier to me !!
And your right , the bigger issue is getting her to listen . I'm confessing this here only , I may have met my match !!! Even when I'm talking directly to her she talks over me and will not stop . I am not a wilting rose , I am forward and confident but , she's not affected by me at all . Her behaviour seems unaffected by me or anyone else . It's hard to explain .

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LOL at hospital onesies!! I sorta get the feet thing....I mean I don't want some adult's stinky dirty feet with warts on me but kids feet are so cute!! haha. Regardless, we all have our issues lol.

If she were to talk over me every single time out of defiance, I would simply stop talking and place her in time out with a quick "you are not listening to me. we will talk in two minutes" and keep repeating this until she learns that she has to listen to what I'm saying and not talk over me because it is rude to do that to anyone.

Ugh, my feet are already sweating at the thought of socks and slippers!!! LOL (it does gross me out when people wear shoes without socks though...think of that sweat! blah!! haha )

I find 4 year olds so challenging. LOL I don't mind them if they have been with me a long time but I be really desperate financially to take a 4 year old into a current vacancy.

There, I said it.

I just find 4 year olds are at that stage where they are challenging authority and ain't nobody got time for that. When they've been here a long time, they already know I say what I mean and I mean what I say but when they come in aged 4, many think they are running the show and they are sadly mistaken, but it takes a while for them to realize that.

I think the sock issue is representative of a battle of wills now. You are the provider likely don't really have a big issue with her bare feet but it's more the outright defiance. She too likely doesn't really mind wearing socks but for her, it's one way she can "win" in your day home.

Maybe, you do address it based on the defiance rather than the action. Like you said, if she talked over you, you'd place her in time out for not listening but in her constantly taking off her socks when you've told her she needs to keep them on, she's not listening either.

I have no magic answers other than doing what I do, and avoiding 4 years olds but I know that's not always viable.

Feet are dirty! lol, they are not washed often like hands so therefore totally different IMO! LOL I agree with those who are pro-sock! At least with socks I don't see a sweaty footprint behind on my laminate flooring, with bare feet I do and it grosses me out too!

I think of it this way, if I allowed 1 child to not keep their socks on then I have to allow all. If I had to worry about getting everyone's socks on before we go outside then what a pain. I have enough things to put on kids to play outside without throwing socks into the mix.

I have never had a problem ever with a child , I am an authority figure but this family is different . If I put her on a time out she won't walk and I now have a child dangling from the hand I'm holding . I refuse to pull her and now I'm carrying a 4 yr old ?! So yesterday it was a circus act getting her to time out and then keeping her on time out . My other dcks are waiting for the show to be over so I can actually carry on with our programs . The only leverage I have is snack and that doesn't even phase her while she's melting down !
Every activity they (3siblings) require direct supervision and my involvement . I'm thinking right now that it is not a good match and they should go back to a nanny . I find the parents odd to talk to about anything as I've been told , "she's a free spirit , artistic type " oh ??
I have explained here they are part of a group , but ...
Today I received a note , the kids say they eat macaroni everyday ? Ugh I get soo ticked because I served them kd at their request as they didn't like my homemade and weren't eating . I hate kd !!!!! My dd just had her first try of it when this family started !! ( of course she prefers it ��)
I need to make some decisions !!!

sounds to me like this family needs to go. Some kids are just not a good fit and you will be so relieved once they are gone. I had a boy who was a "free spirit" too. I just had to be extra hard on him. His thing was being last, so if he acted up he was last for EVERYTHING. He hated it and didn't like me or coming to my house much because of it. His parents allowed him to act like a complete lunatic at pickup time. They lasted a year and then moved on to a licenced centre. I was so happy to see him go!

Good advice !!! I did that today ! We are finishing a unit study on our senses , so we did a overview and they tried everything to do what I was asking wrong , so I only did their turn last . I think so much attention is put on them and their "feelings" .

I still think children's hands are dirtier than their feet LOL. Adults maybe not! Haha

I would be telling her that her time out starts when she is sitting nice. Every time you have to talk to her or put her back the time out starts again.

I had one child who time outs didn't work for though. She was perfectly content to sit all day in one if she had too. I started taking away the privilege of sitting on the pink chair if her behaviour wasn't good. This was the magical switch in her behaviour!

Lol !!!! I am grossed out by both !!! But maybe because usually feet are covered ?? I'm looking at jagged little toe nails !!!! Ewww
I haven't found her Achilles heel yet !!! Although today taking my focus off her and her attempts at my attention has her at least paying attention !!

Hopefully time outs or her Achilles heel ( once you find it lol) will start to help with her behaviour.