Parents that have a day off bringing kids to day home

I have one family where the mom has different shifts and some days only starts at 3pm but still drops off her child at 7:45. Yesterday she was having a ''fun'' day with her mother and was going to drop off her child for only a ''couple of hours''. The whole day came and went and she came at her regular time and didn't even mention anything at all. Meanwhile, here I am all day waiting and trying to plan activities. I think from now on I am going to tell her I need a specific time. This isn't the first time this happens. I don't stay indoors all day so it's not like I am here whenever she might feel like stopping by. I just thought that if I had done that I would be ashamed.

I had a very hard time with this when I first started daycare, I had to work hard to resign myself to accept it b/c after all , they are paying me. When I worked I worked 4 days a week, I HAD to pay for my spot for 5 days a week no matter what, but I never sent them on my day off.... why would I? It killed me to put them in daycare and have to go back to work (which is why I"m now doing daycare) and I refused to lose that time that I could have with them, no matter what errands I had to do. And yes, I hate the guilty feeling I get (from some, not all my parents) when I want or need a day off for whatever reason.

SO, I do have a problem with it, however, I have resigned to suck it up! :)

I agree with Alphagetti that it is none of our business, but then I have never encountered parents like the ones Judy described who never keep their kids home with them...I am certain that this situation would upset me for the child's sake as well. However, I would not say anything as it is the parent's choice...unless the child were old enough to tell me that they wished they were home with mom and dad...then I would certainly pass that comment along and hope it had some effect!

There is another aspect of parents sending their kids on days off. To a certain extent we should take it as a compliment. The parent feels the child is getting more out of coming to our preschool than they would if they stayed home with the parent. Same reason I have had a child here full time all year while mom is home on mat leave. If the child was in school and the parent was off they wouldn't just pull them out of school for the day so them may be looking at it that way too. At least we can tell ourselves that and maybe it will boost our ego instead of annoying us that the kid is with us instead of the parents.

I dont know, I think its sad if a mom is home on mat leave for another baby to continue to drop her child off at daycare full time. Of course, you wouldnt pull them out of school, but they have to go to school, but they dont HAVE to go to daycare and that is precious time you will never get back. Its great if they are getting a great deal out of the daycare program, but dont you think they would also get a lot out of being with their mom, and sibling too? Just my opinion....

I know daycare is my source of income and without it I'd not be able to be home with my own kids, but I just dont think there is anyone better than your own parents. If you are able to make it work (and I know some cant), then why wouldnt you? If you are home on mat leave, why would you waste money on fulls time daycare, AND not enjoy the time with your older children at the same time? Again, just my opinion! :)

I also want to add that I used to look after two sisters who desprately wanted their mom to be home with them, mom constantly talked (to me and them) about opening her own daycare etc etc but never did, instead she changed jobs that kept her away from them for increasingly longer hours (the further in the city she went, the more money she got paid, but also, the more commuting time it took). They are no longer with me i/ because of escalating behaviour problems, and ii/ b/c I will not do the hours she wants (the new provider gives them dinner!!). Anyhow, from chatting with the new provider (a friend of mine) their behaviour has gotten way more out of hand (stealing, hitting, lying to their mom about their provider) etc, etc. They still to this day when I see them at school, say how excited they are b/c their mom is going to start a home daycare and they will get to stay home with her all the time. When they were with me I spent a great deal of time trying to explain to them why their mom has to work, why she's so busy on the weekend, etc, etc, etc.... so again, as much as it is a compliment that parents feel their kids get so much from daycare, kids NEED their parents just as much, if not more! :) again.... IMO! ;)

I have a child with me full time while mom is on mat leave and another about to start when his sibling is born later this month. What the moms feel is that they would be so busy with the new baby and bathing, feeding, etc. bound by sleep schedules that the child would have a lot of down time to entertain themselves. Instead they are at my house playing with friends, learning, etc doing things at their level. It also gives the mom a chance to catch up on sleep lost and housework done so that as soon as the child is picked up at night then mom is able to devote the evening to just the first child. It is working out well for them and child is totally fine with it. His sibling will start into daycare end of August. The mom has done some mommy and me classes with the baby like swimming, etc. that she wouldn't be able to do with the older child around unless they went into the gym daycare or whatever so many moms want to give to their subsequent children all of the advantages they gave to their firstborn. As the mom of 4 I can totally see how each child was effected - missed out, changed circumstances as each new child came along.

To each his own I suppose. I managed w/ 2 kids under 2 years old, without daycare and I dont feel my either of them missed out on anything b/c there was more than one child. I can understand 1 or 2 days in daycare, but I just dont understand full time....

It seems to me that with each year that passes there is more and more pressure on moms to do stuff for their babies like massage and baby and me yoga, and swimming, gymboree, music etc and there is a limited number of those classes that allows an adult to take two children as many are one adult one child. Do the babies need these things probably not. I think it is more moms that are not prepared to be away from other adults for 12 months that crave the outings. And that is why we stay home and do daycare and other moms go to work and leave their children with us. Not everyone is cut out to be a daycare provider. We do see the world a lot different than other parents do.

I think it's interesting how many passionate replies this thread got.... and most of them with the same general consensus. In my opinion, it goes to show how much we all care about the well-being of the kids we care for. Nice to know that so many providers really give-a-darn, you know?
I, personally, would not even think of putting my child in full time care while on mat leave. Part time, maybe. But the idea that mom is tired, and has other stuff to do, does NOT fly with me. I am on my fourth child (soon) and that is the reality of having more kids, sorry!!! Again, I revisit the idea that maybe we as a whole are not valuing the role parents actually have in the lives of our own kids as much as we used to. Much more important to go to the gym and the nail place and have coffee with our friends than the unglamorous job of actually parenting.
Sheesh, sorry ladies, I tend to go on about this subject.... :)