How to approach?

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Originally Posted by treeholm

I am assuming the post containing rude comments to Skysue was removed, because I read the whole thread and can't find it either.
In any case, each one of us has a responsibility to only accept clients that we can be reasonably certain of being suitable for. This is not discrimination. I would not take them on, not because I am cold or heartless, but because lifting a heavy child would put my own health at risk, and that would ultimately inconvenience all my clients. If I put my back out, all of my children would be unable to come. They are between 1 and 2 years of age, and need to be lifted into play pens, high chairs, and lifted onto the change table. I protect the health of my back. It would be irresponsible of ME to accept these clients. If another provider has not difficulty lifting that weight, that is fine. This is in individual decision. But, I would be very annoyed if someone said I was discriminating against these children just because I knew they would not fit my program. We walk a lot, and if the child can't handle that, and I can't carry the child, do I deprive all my other children of our outings? Of course not. I will only take children who fit into my program. That also means, for example, I will not accept children who need a morning nap, nor will I accept children who have outgrown a nap. I guess I discriminate against several groups, if you want to use that term, but ultimately, it is my business! I am not a social worker, and it is not my job to "fix" children who have parents who don't care about nutrition. I respect the parents' right to parent as they see fit, and I respect my own right to accept parents who are on the same page with me about nutrition, or any other important issues.

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Treeholm .... There are only two posts removed and they were by 5 monkeys and they were only saying the same thing as yours almost verbatim .... The cat fight start when skysue said something to daycare whisperer about being discriminatory ..... I agree with playfelt .... I too can tell the age of certain providers by the comments they make. I too am old school having been around the block a few dozen times with having my first child in my 20's and my fifth child in my 40's . I find myself commenting less lately and just reading and often chuckling.
I agree it's the parents right to raise their child how they see fit and it's not up to me what they feed their kids. I would not take too kindly if my caregiver (when I worked out of the home) told me what to feed my kids. While I feed my children a basic healthy diet and we grow all our own veggies in our garden, blanching and freezing away some and storing in our cold cellar others I do have fruit loops, lucky charms, and oreo cookies in my cupboard for my own children to have periodically. I would also be hard pressed to believe anyone who said their child (unless the child was under 12 months of age) had never had any junk food (sugary cereal, cookies, ice cream, cake, chips, French fries, ect). It's really too bad that this forum has been reduced to its current state....

Treeholm you nailed what the real issue is: discrimination and our meaning of it.

You are right we do it all the time and that was the point many of us were trying to make but that got lost in the fact the child was overweight so it became all about that and not about the truth that the reason for the child not being accepted was because there was something about the child that meant they would not be a good fit for the program.

Morning nap, no nap, parent won't allow outings, parent demands outings, chid cries all the time, child is aggressive, child is too young to keep up with the other kids and program, child is too old and bored by being around younger kids ..... the list goes on. I know some of these reasons seem to not mean much or attack the child directly but a child that cries well it becomes all about the tears as no matter how sweet and cute child is or how nice the mom is the tears still annoy everyone and make for bad days.

Discriminating on the basis of race is wrong. Discriminating on the basis of sex, age, temperament, etc. is not only allowed in home daycare, it is encouraged because it is our job to help everyone have good days and that means that every child needs to be in the best program for them and not just any program. If the original poster had said she didn't want to take the 3 year old husky, overactive boy because her home was currently filled with only girls 2 and under very few would have jumped on her and said that is discrimination - they would have applauded her for taking the needs of everyone in her group into consideration over her desire to fill a space. Because the issue is the sensitive topic of obesity the thinking and replies got all messed up.

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

Treeholm .... There are only two posts removed and they were by 5 monkeys and they were only saying the same thing as yours almost verbatim .... The cat fight start when skysue said something to daycare whisperer about being discriminatory ..... I agree with playfelt .... I too can tell the age of certain providers by the comments they make. I too am old school having been around the block a few dozen times with having my first child in my 20's and my fifth child in my 40's . I find myself commenting less lately and just reading and often chuckling.
I agree it's the parents right to raise their child how they see fit and it's not up to me what they feed their kids. I would not take too kindly if my caregiver (when I worked out of the home) told me what to feed my kids. While I feed my children a basic healthy diet and we grow all our own veggies in our garden, blanching and freezing away some and storing in our cold cellar others I do have fruit loops, lucky charms, and oreo cookies in my cupboard for my own children to have periodically. I would also be hard pressed to believe anyone who said their child (unless the child was under 12 months of age) had never had any junk food (sugary cereal, cookies, ice cream, cake, chips, French fries, ect). It's really too bad that this forum has been reduced to its current state....

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Ooppps ..... My mistake ..... I just reread the entire thread and 5 monkeys posts are still there so nothing is missing ..... Sorry

It is really upsetting to me to read the posters who have a lot of insight and good advice are fed up with the infighting that occurs on this forum. I see that most of the posters have really good intentions and give excellent insights to an OP's questions or comments.
There are some sh!t disturbers who make comments to cause a negative reaction.
Can we, the regular supporters of this forum please show the professionalism we show in our businesses and just ignore negative/reactionary comments and address the OP's question/concern without throwing out accusations of a discriminatory nature.
I come to this forum to learn and to be a better provider and business person. Already we have lost a number of members who were there when I joined this forum who kindly answered my newbie questions and proceeded to explain in a kind and helpful way the error of my ways.
May I suggest that we ignore some bad apples and the ones who just want a reaction and stay focused to the OP's question. Lets get our forum back on track and keep the remaining members we have.

I'm glad my posts are still there. When I read they were gone I wondered why lol.

I am a newbie to this forum so I don't know who the shit disturbers are....I honestly don't see any shit disturbing posts in this particular thread??

Shrugs.... I dunno I am confused --I just provided my take on caring for a toddler who is a bigger size....

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

I'm glad my posts are still there. When I read they were gone I wondered why lol.

I am a newbie to this forum so I don't know who the shit disturbers are....I honestly don't see any shit disturbing posts in this particular thread??

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The issue is that there are caregivers on this board with a variety of philosophies, differing styles of parenting/caregiving/communication etc, and there is a specific type or group who get their feelings hurt very easily, and don't appreciate (or want to tolerate) those who have a more hard-ass (realistic) view on things.

In my opinion, everyone needs to realize that there may be contributors here who do not align perfectly with your philosophies or your style, but provided they are not calling names or being abusive, everyone has the right to express their views and share their experiences and their advice, without being silenced, shamed, or censored.

If you don't agree with someone's point of view, by all means disagree or debate with them, or even avoid or leave the conversation if you so choose, but to throw a public hissy fit and stomp off in outraged indignation, or to demand the ones you disagree with be silenced, is neither necessary nor appreciated by those of us who value different opinions and free expression on a public forum.

Those who seem to look for any possible reason to become offended on a regular basis should consider developing a thicker skin. It's not the end of the world when others don't see things exactly the way you see them. And if you weren't so busy taking hissy fits, you might even learn something from someone with a different set of views and experiences than yours.

In my life, I've always learned the most from those who had the guts to speak truths that were harder to hear... not the ones who already agree with everything I think and say.

Well said jammiesandtea!! We all deal with parents who parent differently on a daily basis so why shouldn't we accept that dcp's run their hdc's differently. I will let you all know now that there are going to be times I agree with you and there are going to be times I don't. That doesn't mean I'm being rude, offensive or shit disturbing. It just means I am vocal about my opinions and thoughts and want to give my two cents too!!! lol.

PS. To those who said they could....can you guess my age?? ( I like games like that and am curious to see how close you are to my age!!) :)

5 monkeys can you guess mine lol..Id say 32?

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

Well said jammiesandtea!! We all deal with parents who parent differently on a daily basis so why shouldn't we accept that dcp's run their hdc's differently. I will let you all know now that there are going to be times I agree with you and there are going to be times I don't. That doesn't mean I'm being rude, offensive or shit disturbing. It just means I am vocal about my opinions and thoughts and want to give my two cents too!!! lol.



PS. To those who said they could....can you guess my age?? ( I like games like that and am curious to see how close you are to my age!!) :)

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5 monkeys....... Between 29 and 33