I'm not sure this is the right place to be posting, I just really need some help! lol

Here's the long and short of it
I have had a child in my day home for 2 years. There have been all kinds of behavioral issues, basically
this child is tearing my house apart, but the major issue is she is constantly peeing all over my house. When she pees her pants, it doesn't even phase her anymore. She doesn't even tell me she has to go to the bathtoom she just pees on my floor ( or at the park or waiting for the light to change at the crosswalk) without skipping a beat. She has pooped on my carpet a few times in the past aswell, but she pees her pants almost every day, sometimes 4 times a day. When I speak to the parents about it, they laugh it off and simply say 'it doesnt happen at home' and I feel like I have tried everything for this child (with the peeing and the other issues) and nothing seems to work. This child is almost 4, and I feel like after 2 years of trying and trying, I am just exhausted by the situation. Any suggestions? I have had other children in my care and I have never come across this issue so, any insight would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you!

If she doesn't do it at home, it's behavioural. Doesn't sound like you have much support from her parents either. It might be time to get strict.

She MUST wear pull ups at your home. They must provide these pull ups and at almost four she is old enough to change her pull-ups herself.

How are her parents OK with this? They pick her up everyday and there is a whole bag of urine soaked clothes - think of the laundry they must do. She must have a lot of clothes if they can send 4-5 clean outfits everyday for her.

What are some of the other issues?

I think you need to give them a month to get this stuff under control otherwise show them the door.

Well. Here's how I see it. Either the parents are lying, or they are fairly out of it. I'm sorry but if my 4 year old child was peeing/pooping herself 1-4 times a day at daycare and never at home then I would consider that a HUGE red flag that something was going on in the daycare environment and if my child was bringing home the soiled clothes I would be looking into it.

I am by no means saying there is something wrong with your daycare, I suspect that this child does do it at home and they are trying to put the onus on you.

I would consider it either a behavioral issue (doing it to be defiant) or the child truly has some physical problem with knowing when they have soiled themselves. In either case they need help to pinpoint what the issue is and what the proper course of action is.

Do you have the parents support? Are they approachable? Are there many other issues at hand in which case you are better to let the child go as a wake up call to the family and so the child can get the support she needs?

What other behavioral issues are you dealing with?

Pull-up!!! There is no way I would allow underwear. She wants to act like a baby then she gets a pull-up on like a baby. It is not ok to pee and poop on the floor!!! Demand parents send pull-ups immediately.

I think i'd go further though and use diapers not pull ups. At age 4 (aside from any developmental delays) she should be aware and able to prevent the majority of accidents, especially if she has been trained for some time and is truly accident free at home. If it is just a behavioral thing then the impact of 'act like a baby, get treated like a baby' will be driven home faster with actual diapers.

I just caution such a route if there is any chance of it being more than just behavior. If it is due to an underlying condition then I'd be weary of shaming her in case it is a long term issue!

I don't think shaming a child for not having mastered the potty is ever ok. Typically it makes the situation even worse. Put the pull ups on but don't make it a negative thing, just a very matter-of-fact tone saying "sorry Sally but you will have to wear pull-ups until you can show me what a big girl you are and can go pee and poo on the toilet by yourself". You can try a rewards system like a sticker chart. Parents probably won't like her being back in pull-ups but too bad-you shouldn't be cleaning up soiled clothes and furniture and flooring several times per day.

No, but the problem with pull ups is they are designed for kids this age, there are many kids this age in the them and they give little reason for the child to want to be out of them. A diaper will give more incentive for the child to step up and use the toilet so she can go back to panties.

The difference is, if the child has an underlying condition resulting in so many accidents then you'd want the pull ups so they aren't feeling different than the other kids their age due to their inability to train in the same time frame.

I just want to add that I would not tell the child if you act like a baby then you get a pull-up like a baby but that is totally something I would be thinking!

I would just tell mom there are too many accidents and it is not practical or sanitary to have her peeing and pooping all over your carpet! And until she can go to the bathroom on her own without accidents then she needs to remain in a pull-up. Good for them if it isn't happening at home although I doubt it but daycare is different so this is their only option.

I try to limit the liquids for potty training children, fill them up with water and they are bound to have to pee every half hour or so.
I would be asking parents for pullups, limiting the drinks to snack and meal times only (no unlimited access to her cup) and implementing a timer system when she MUST sit on the toilet every hour.

Wow! Thanks for all the suggestions. I have to be totally honest, here......i have done all of that! Rewards, stickers, charts, not in pull up, back in pull ups, you name it, i have tried.....
and im sorry, but i have other kids in my care who are younger than her, and they don't get stickers for not peeing iny floor. We are beyond that, i feel.