Help, I might have a humper

So I noticed my soon to be 2yrs dcg laying on the couch with a doll and she has the doll down under her and her hips were moving slightly. Then about 10 minutes later it was sleep time and I put her in her bed and she did the same thing with her stuffy she sleeps with. This is a total new thing for her, I've never seen her do it before. I know this is a normal thing and all kids go through something like this. So, anyone who has or has had a humper in d/c...did you talk to the parents about this to see if she was doing it at home? I'm not really sure how to even bring that up, lol.

Ummm for me--as I have worked with children from all walks of life and abuse situations it would be a huge red flag for me, and I would approach the parents about it--I haven't had anyone in my dayhome, but have seen all sorts of redflags for abuse, and this is one... Maybe call them and ask if she has been doing this at home? Don't be affraid to say you are a tad embarassed about it, but be honest.

Like I said on the other forum, Fruitloop - I could NOT deal with that at all. It wigs me out. And, quite frankly any 'sexual things' by kids while in my care make me leery and worry me that they might be taken as something happening here in my care by a parent who stumbles across their kid humping something at home. I don't like the risk it presents.

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Originally Posted by gingerbread11

Ummm for me--as I have worked with children from all walks of life and abuse situations it would be a huge red flag for me, and I would approach the parents about it--I haven't had anyone in my dayhome, but have seen all sorts of redflags for abuse, and this is one... Maybe call them and ask if she has been doing this at home? Don't be affraid to say you are a tad embarassed about it, but be honest.

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I disagree. I do not think this is a huge red flag situation at all. I have a dcg who did this with her stuffies, or just with nothing on the floor while watching tv. She outgrew it after a couple months. Children are discovering their bodies and what may feel 'different'.

I think you may suspect other signs of abuse before the humping may arise. Behaviourial issues, problems at home that you may be aware of, change in mood, etc are all other signs of abuse and would not jump to assumptions just because of one little hump!

fruitloop, I dont think this is absolutly necessary worth mentioning to the parents. Like I said, my dcg outgrew it and hasnt done it since. I do not believe she is harming herself or others and is just exploring her body....normal. You know the girl better than us and would have other signs if abuse was really going on at home or otherwise. NOT fair to assume this is why the girl is a sudden humper!!

Maybe ask the little girl straight our what she is doing, she what she says.... could be funny to hear lol

true, but I would ask about it.

The only reason I would bring it up with the parents is because of what Judy mentioned. I would rather tell the parents first so that they don't think she is learning it at daycare/being abused. That is the reason it would pose a problem for me too...paranoid I guess, but for good reason. You may want to ask the parents how they are dealing with it at home (ie. ignoring, stopping it)...that will give you a way to bring up the topic and also you should let them know that to your knowledge it is normal.

Ya, I've never seen her do it here before so this is a new thing...here anyway. I just don't know to really bring that up ya know :) I won't be terming them over this, it's normal, I really like this family and dcg, and so far she doesn't do it all the time. I also don't want the others learning that from her either though. I don't see/believe that any abuse is happening either.

I would likely bring it up VERY casually... "haha, I've noticed So-and-so doing this. Does she do it at home? If you like, I can interrupt the behaviour, but I am not worried about it."
Just to get it talked about for the same reasons the others mentioned. But unless it becomes an all the time thing, I wouldn't stress.

It is 100% normal, especially at that age. If it bothers you, then I would simply redirect the child to something else but don't make them feel ashamed or embarrassed (not that you would!).

Well, I brought it up with dcmom at p/u last night. She said she has been doing it at home at bed time for about 3 weeks now. I'm not worried about it, she hasn't done it at all today that I've seen so it's all good :)

I had a little girl in care who used her blanket as a soothing technique like this while she was falling asleep and I'm pretty sure she started doing it right around age 18 months. It took me a long time to realize what she was actually doing, then I was flabbergasted! I didn't ever bring it up to her Mom because I didn't know what to say. However, this little girl only did this while falling asleep in her playpen once a day at naptime and nobody ever saw her do it but me. I had no idea little girls did this and I couldn't believe it! But she was fully clothed and her blankie was under her just bunched up.

However, I have a friend who has a little girl in her daycare who uses her hand and is very loud and actually wakes the other children. Now I would not be able to keep this girl in care I don't think because I would be really, really freaked out. My friend has had this little girl in care for several years and she actually has run into problems and accusations now that the girl is in school and daycare every other day. Now that is scary!

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Originally Posted by Momof4

However, I have a friend who has a little girl in her daycare who uses her hand and is very loud and actually wakes the other children. Now I would not be able to keep this girl in care I don't think because I would be really, really freaked out. My friend has had this little girl in care for several years and she actually has run into problems and accusations now that the girl is in school and daycare every other day. Now that is scary!

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Eeeek. Now that seems to me to be more alarming. I am disturbed a bit by that scenario. For some reason it seems more suspicious? I don't know if it's the "noises" you mention?
So that brings up a point.... what do you do if you DO think there is inappropriate behaviour going on? Talk to the parents? Go directly to Child Services?

It states in my contract that I will call CAS if I suspect any child abuse. I would try to get information from the parents first if there was any way I could find a way to do that. You can't always trust what a little child says because sometimes they get things wrong or mixed up. But it is definitely our job to protect the little ones in our care so it's important to go the extra mile whenever we can.