How to terminate.... sigh...

Hello Everyone,

I am terminating a family on Monday (for various reasons, no need to go into details here, lol). I have my termination letter typed up, a copy of my termination policy and the remaining post dated chqs that she has given me in an envelope.

My question is, how do you go about delivery of a termination? Do you just hand over the envelope and ask her to read it that evening or do you state 'this is a letter of termination of care, you will find details inside...'

Help please! I know this is happening on Monday for me but I just want it to be a quick and painless delivery for the message.

Any thoughts would be appreciated, thanks :)

I haven't had to do it yet, thank goodness.... but I would say "I regret to inform you that I can no longer continue care. Please read this, and if you have questions, we can discuss them at a later time. The last day of care is specified in the letter."
Simply and matter of fact. If they try to "but, but, but" just ask them again to read the letter and you will continue the conversation another time.
Good luck!!

I had to terminate twice in my first year and both times I was just talking to the parents and kind of blurted it out that it wasn't working. I had talked and talked to both sets of parents about my frustrations and wasn't getting anywhere so it was kind of mutually decided at the time. Now that I'm experienced if I had to terminate a family I would definitely write a letter in a sealed envelope and put it in their bag and ask them to read the letter when they get home and call me so we could discuss it.

I've recently realized when hearing about someone else's frustration with their daycare families and wondering why on earth they sign on clients who drive them crazy that I am screening people more than I even knew at the interviews. Just my opinion, but if you lay it on the line at the interview stage that you are flexible but only to a point because you treat all families and children equally and fairly but according to your contract rules and that your contract has been formed because you've learned the hard way, you only get the clients who are in sync with you. I don't want to terminate anybody ever again so I always tell people up front that I will continue to work with them if we are a team and working together but will not continue if parents don't work with me. The parents who sign on with me know from day one that I'm a vital part of their child's life and their life too for the next 3 years or so.

I have not had to terminate in home care either - but would likely 'discuss it' with the written letter as back up ... I find talking can go a long way to smoothing things over!

I get that no one likes conflict but if you were an 'employee' and your boss was going to fire you would you rather have him sit you down and discuss it with you and give you a chance to ask any questions or get handed a letter and told 'read this over and if you have any questions give me a shout' and shooed out the door?

You have not shared any details so I am assuming that this is over either their child's behaviour or them not being a match for the program - that you have attempted to resolve the issues but have reached a breaking point - so it is likely not going to come as a 'surprise' to them anyway.

I also agree with Momof4 that most conflict in the provider/client relationship can be resolved by indepth discussions during the interview stage about your philosophy, practices and polices on 'child rearing' within your program as well as their obligations under your contract and so forth ... than if there are any red flags in the questions they ask or expectations they have that indicate they are not a 'match' you do not sign them on in the first place ... daycare is a very personal thing and not all clients are going to be a fit for all providers - it is not personal persay just a difference in opinion on how best to meet children's needs!

Do not give her the cheques yet. You need to give her notice so the deposit pays for those two weeks if she doesn't pay you. Just give the letter of termination. When she drops off just tell her that for and state a reason if you want that you have decided that terminating the contract is the only option and then hand them the letter. Mention what the process will be in terms of when the last day of care will be. I would not mention the deposit at all. Let the parent say ok we will use that money or let them pay you as normal and then on last day give them a cheque for the deposit. That way you still get more money for the next two weeks and dont' have to take the hit till she cashes the cheque which will be immediately after termination.

Hello Playfelt,

Thank you for the advice about keeping the cheques. I already have a deposit for one month from when she started, so financially I am covered (thankfully). I am also giving her six weeks notice as where I live childcare is hard to find... I do not plan on discussing the money side as everything is already paid already :)

Hello,

Thank you for your reply. I have a belief that open communication is key and I follow that as best I can. This will be a repeated occurrence of multiple issues around boundaries that this child's mother is not respecting.

From already having a sit down talk about three months ago to now having to give reminders 2-3 times a week, I am done.

I do not think she will see this coming 'out of nowhere' but who knows because she acts like everyone owes her a favor. I am just frustrated by this family and want them to go. I have tried to make it work but I feel the lack of respect from her end is enough to terminate.

Thanks again for your response :)

Oh lack of respect would be reason here too - you sound like you've been more than patient in helping them understand this is your he and your business - six weeks ntloce is very kind but if respect is the issue I would make it clear that if any issues around respecting rules arise in that time termination will be immediate !!! No one deserves to be disrespected specially in their home!

To: Inspired my Reggio:

Thank you for your response again :) I am just wondering what you would do in the case of immediate termination in regards to finances... would you refund them the money for the number of days left in the month? Or would you keep the deposit and tell them that you are sorry this is not working out? I am not sure what I would do in that situation and want to be prepared.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by samantha3

To: Inspired my Reggio:

Thank you for your response again :) I am just wondering what you would do in the case of immediate termination in regards to finances... would you refund them the money for the number of days left in the month? Or would you keep the deposit and tell them that you are sorry this is not working out? I am not sure what I would do in that situation and want to be prepared.

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I have a contract that states that the deposit is applied to the last weeks of care unless termination is applied by me for reasons of disrespect or abuse from the parents or children in care.

You didn't state your reasons for termination in your original post and I don't know what you have in your contract regarding your termination rules, but this is a good opportunity for you to review those clauses.

Samantha just went through the same thing on Friday. I sent a letter home but I was up front with the Mom while handing her the letter. I opted to do it at the end of the week so they have the weekend to reflect and to call me if need be etc. Also I put away my fear of having disgruntled parents coming for their child’s belongings during daycare hours.

I figure if you’re up front from the beginning then possible termination doesn’t become a huge shock when it happens.

It all depends on the parents though there are a lot of people in denial out there regarding Childs behavior.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by samantha3

To: Inspired my Reggio:

Thank you for your response again :) I am just wondering what you would do in the case of immediate termination in regards to finances... would you refund them the money for the number of days left in the month? Or would you keep the deposit and tell them that you are sorry this is not working out? I am not sure what I would do in that situation and want to be prepared.

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If I was terminating with 'cause' aka they did not meet the financial obligation of the contract or they were in violation of my code of conduct than NO I would not give them 'notice' they would be done and forfeit any money's paid to me - that is clearly stated in my contact that if terminated with cause...my clients are so 'afraid' of that clause that I once had a client come with a note from their bank because the bank made an error and her cheque to me bounced and she was afraid I would terminate her :o

If it was a case of a new relationship where I discovered that 'we are just not a match' cause the child was not adjusting to the program or their child's personality was not a fit or turned out the family had philosophical practices I could not condone - than I would just either refund the deposit in lieu of 'notice' on my part or if I needed the money suck it up and offer to work through the notice period if the client really 'needed' to keep sending the child.

However my experience at least in centre care is once a provider tells a client 'sorry your child is not a match for our program and we do not feel comfortable keeping him on any longer as a result effective X date we can no longer provide care' they do not WANT to send their child anyway and serioiusly which one of US would want to under those circumstances?

So if it was MY choice to terminate I would just offer to refund it rather than having a parent send their kid anyway just to get their $$$ worth so to speak - makes it so stressful on everyone to have to work under those negative circumstances :(