Request to see the child at the first meeting

Can i request the parents to bring the child along for the first meeting? I wished the parents could bring the child when they come to meet me for the first time but they refused saying they would first like to talk to me and see the daycare. I said ok. My question is can i request the parents to bring the child so that I can get to know the child or talk to him/her to see if she can respond and understand me. (or to see if accepting her would be too demanding as i dont want to neglect other children and only focus on one child). Its not only the parent who has to see if the daycare provider is experienced or trustworthy, we as providers also have to see if the parents r too demanding and if i can satisfy their needs or not.the child in question here is 3 yrs old.please help.

I always insist that the child be present at the meeting. This may sound harsh, but I'm not going to keep wasting my time 'meeting' with a family only to find out their child will not fit with our current children or with me for that matter. I also like to see how the parents interact and handle their child while in my home..helps me to determine if we are on the same page in regards to child rearing. If I had to meet with the parents first, then meet with them and their child it just takes too much out of my family time as I ONLY do meet/greets in the evenings after the daycare children have gone home (protects them from having strangers in my home when they are there)

Yes I would NEVER accept a child into my program 'unseen' so to speak - how will you know if they are a 'match' to the program?

For my first in person interview BOTH parents ( if both are in the picture) AND the child must attend an after hours interview ... if that goes well and we are both 99% sure we are a match and they want to sign on before we 'commit' I than have another 'during program hours' interview for them to see the program and ME to see how the family interacts with the program and children as well as the child - only one parent has to attend that portion.

This is not 'centre 'care where if a child is not a personality match to one provider chances are they will be with one of the many other staff or the child will only be with the one 'group' for a couple months before graduating to the next room if not a 'match' to that teaching team ... this is it in home childcare - one adult and one 'teaching style' so to speak and we are committing to ideal spend the next 3 years together at least depending on if you do school age care ... we NEED to be a match and be able to work together ;)

Hi there new to the forum. I have operated my home daycare for almost 10 years....learned quickly that you must meet the child and both parents. I have not chosen families because the Parents were not a good fit, I have also not chosen families because the child would not have fit the group...it can be tricky doing evenning appointments with young ones , but I insist.

Yup, meeting the child at the first appointment is a MUST!

I agree - kiddies must come with! :)

Same here - child(ren) must attend the first meeting with parents.

I have had parents try to argue with me that I don't need to see their child. I flat out said to them: If you would like to meet with me, you will have to come as a family. Some don't appreciate that - but you have to let those people know who's boss asap!

Good luck!

I will not do interviews unless mom, dad, and child are all present. If anyone from the home is missing they are not accepted into care.

I never had to ask parents' to bring their child along with them. They always brought their kids. But there was one parent she asked if she could come alone as her child is out of the country and will be back in couple of weeks? Don't know why but I accepted meeting with her without her child.

Anyway, it turned out great! And now she is waiting for her son to come home so that he can meet me. She showed me his photo and he is such a sweetheart!

So never say never :)
Cocoon

With me the parents are welcomed to come alone for the first meeting to tour, go over the handbook etc....BUT THIER CHILD MUST come for a meet and greet before contracts are signed

If my first post shows up great - it just disappeared mid sentence but I will summerize in case it doesn't. Some parents "shop around" and then from those visits choose a few homes to actually interview with their child rather than drag the child to 15 interviews.

Considering the age of the child and presuming he was in daycare before that there may be things they want to talk to you about that they don't want him to hear. At the same time it is a red flag if they don't want you to meet the child till you have committed. So if you agree to see them alone, make sure they know that you must meet the child before you will agree to anything.

I always want the entire family to come to the first interview so that I don't waste my time, it's too valuable. I want to see the way the family interacts together, the way they both react to everything I'm telling them about my daycare and the way the child behaves. I'm observing like a maniac during the interview watching out for any red flags at all. I had to terminate some families in my first year because I didn't see things as clearly as I do now and I don't ever want to have problems again.

See, I'm the opposite. I like the parents to come without the child for the first meeting. This way we can get to know each other and talk logistics without interruption. If we both decide to go from there I ask that the child be brought over with one parent for about an hour during the day to see how/if they fit into the program.

Me I leave it up to the parents. Personnally, I would rather have the parents first, to discuss about all the details, see if we get along, if we share the same values in raising kids. Then, if we like each other, I would meet the kid.

So far, all the parents chose to bring their kids!

And I never sign the day of the visit. So they can call back, email for any other questions that they didn't ask!

Wow strange. I have never ever ever had a parent suggest coming without the child. I can't even imagine. I just think it is a given that they would bring their child and have always had children come to every single interview. I would be kind of suspicious if someone said they were looking for childcare but showed up without a child at my door - I would probably think they were trying to get into the house to rob me.
Yup...I am paranoid. lol:rolleyes::laugh:

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Originally Posted by playfelt

If my first post shows up great - it just disappeared mid sentence .....

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This has been happening to me today as well ????

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Originally Posted by playfelt

....Some parents "shop around" and then from those visits choose a few homes to actually interview with their child rather than drag the child to 15 interviews.

Considering the age of the child and presuming he was in daycare before that there may be things they want to talk to you about that they don't want him to hear. At the same time it is a red flag if they don't want you to meet the child till you have committed. So if you agree to see them alone, make sure they know that you must meet the child before you will agree to anything.

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This is why I do a PHONE interview first - great time to talk to me about anything 'confidential' then without your child present and this is when I would ask a client 'why they were changing programs' if they were an older child already in program ... I do my in person interview in the evening - this is my FAMILY time and sorry but I am not wasting on someone who is just 'shopping around' .... people who make it past the phone interview to the in person interview I tend to already know we are a 'match' and almost all of them sign on to the program ... I have only interviewed 3 people in the past 5 years who did NOT sign on and in hindsight I should have seen the red flags during the phone interview that that they were not a match for ME cause the minute they walked in the door and were rude with wild children I remembered the 'rude' tone on the phone that I had dismissed as frustration at trying to manage kids interrupting in the background but nope they were just 'abrupt and rude' to their children and therefore their child was abrupt and rude and well more than I wanted to take on ;)

Like Spixie33 I've had quite a bit of interviews and all have had the kids with them. Only once, so far, I've had to say please bring your fiance too. I want everyone involved to meet with me! :)



I actually have a interview tomorrow that I'm not feeling 100% on.....Care isn't to start until a few months from now, mom is insisting a daytime interview because she wants to "see play time in action"....not sure what's she's planning to see? I'm not teaching 2yr olds science! :laugh: At first she wanted to come with her husband too and I started getting freaked out (are the killers??) so I agreed to a 'playdate' with my dck's parents permission with her & child only. Husband can come later in the evening when my husband is home too.

You know how we say go with your gut instinct....yeah well I'm not feeling it already :unsure: (((sigh)))

I would absolutely not ACCEPT the family, without meeting the child first. As playfelt mentioned, if they are seriously shopping around they may be doing lots of first meetings to narrow down the field, then bringing the child/ren to some second interviews.
Dependent upon how the phone interview went, I MIGHT be okay with this scenario. The challenge is; with 2 boys in hockey, a daughter in dance, and umpteen other commitments, I don't have time to waste!!! So I would have to feel reeeeealllly good about the person to allow this. If not; I would insist on the whole family.

MammaMia; hope it goes well!!! They are PROBABLY not killers, but better safe than sorry, right!!??

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

.... mom is insisting a daytime interview because she wants to "see play time in action"...

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Sorry I would CANCEL this .... I absolutely REFUSE to have a complete stranger into my home when I am home along with the child ... plus her DEMANDING this of you shows me she does not RESPECT that this is YOUR HOME / YOUR BUSINESS ... would she call the BANK and demand something special from them?

Seriously I GET that clients want to be able to SEE the program in action because seeing is believing - we can say just about anything in an after hours interview to SELL the program but if they come for a daytime visit and what they SEE does not match what their HEARD we cannot fool them.

HOWEVER IMO clients need to understand interviewing strangers is a RISK to a childcare provider ... the world is full of EVIL unfortunately and there is no way I am inviting that into my home where I am caring for children - I wou;d hope as perspective clients people would understand and respect that one day I would be protecting their child with the same ferocity!!!

Bottom line you do not get to come into my program until I have met with you prior ... and I only book first interviews in the evening when my SPOUSE is home as well so I am not ALONE. I only allow 'daytime visits' for potential clients that I feel confident are a MATCH to the program and they are 99% sure they want to sign the contract too and we just want that 'in program' portion of an interview to ease BOTH our minds - I want to see that the child and clients respect the GROUP as well and they want to see how I am with the kiddies in program and how their child is in the program with the kiddies....this limits the 'strangers' the program is exposed to considerably and well that is just BETTER for the kids in the program who are my first priority ;)

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Originally Posted by mom-in-alberta

MammaMia; hope it goes well!!! They are PROBABLY not killers, but better safe than sorry, right!!??

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lol

I know DRAMA overboard but like you said better safe than sorry.

I might be one of the few that do this, but I only do interviews during the day as I have a dance school in the evenings. The other 2 evenings and weekends are MY family time, so I am NOT interviewing then (and all the toys go away).

All my parents don't mind, as that's how they came for the interview as well. Children have that 6th sense, and can feel when the family will or will not work - it's worked for me in the past.

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This is why I do a PHONE interview first

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I do this, as well as emailing back and forth. Having them read my manual BEFORE coming to the interview. They don't like it, I don't invite them to my home. It's simple as that!

As I said before, the child MUST come with the parent(s), otherwise it's a waste of MY time and energy. I like to see how the parent(s) interact with the child, and see how my daycare kids interact with the child coming (especially if older).

I don't need the child to come for a first interview. There are a lot of home daycare's out there and most parents want to meet the provider first to feel it they are a fit for their family/values and check out the playroom and or space their child will be staying. Most do a lot of interviews and narrow down their choices.
I would never have a child start without meeting them first either. I've had second interviews where the child has come after the parents met with first. I've also met one little dude who I felt was not a fit and advised them that the spot had been filled. The interview process is for you as well and I would make sure both the parents and the little one would fit into your daycare.

I require anyone living in their home to be present for the meet and greet. I need to see the dynamics between all family members. If they cannot make it, they cannot come here.