Bottle to Bed?

How many of you let your DCK's go to bed with a bottle? I have it in my policies that I don't allow. All parents get a hand out "how to prepare your child for daycare". It asks to wean children from the bottle before starting and it states the health and safety concerns of why I don't allow it.

I have a new parent who is unwilling to wean the child from the bottle in bed before they start with me. Should I let it go and just allow it? It almost feels like a power struggle more then the actual issue.

Thanks in advance!

can you do a bottle of water? there are less dental issues with that.

I don't mind putting children to bed for their nap with their bottle. I find whether they fall asleep with it still in their mouths or roll over and go to sleep and toss it aside done or not there isn't a problem. Can I ask why you think it is a safety concern please? Because I honestly can't think of a reason it should be a worry. I always want to improve and learn.

I've had 2 children in my care that had a bottle of formula going to nap. I don't have a problem with it as the parents requested me to give it to them. I always took it out once they were done so if there was any left over then it wouldn't get all over the place.
Juice I would be concerned about due to being bad for their teeth

I was thinking along the same lines as jec, because I'm always close by and know when the child is finished the bottle. I agree about the tooth decay concern.

Bottle-feeding in bed is not recommended for the following reasons:

• Choking risks: babies who fall asleep while drinking a bottle of breastmilk or formula milk can draw liquid into their lungs. They might then choke on it or inhale it. This is like what happens to grown-ups when they have something ‘go down the wrong way’. It’s more dangerous for your baby than it is for you, because your baby isn’t as good at waking up if something interferes with breathing. Although it’s more likely that your baby will cough and be uncomfortable, you might want to avoid the risk altogether.

• Sleep associations: if babies get used to having a bottle-feed every time they fall asleep, they might develop an association between the bottle and sleep. They might then find it hard to fall asleep without a bottle.

• Risk of tooth decay: milk is quite high in sugar. Soaking your baby’s teeth in it overnight or during naps can cause tooth decay.

• Risk of ear infections: when a baby drinks lying down, milk can flow through to the ear cavity, which can cause ear infections.

Actually most centers do not allow it :)

Bacteria in the mouth metobolizes foods left on the teeth (not only juice but also formula) and produces acids as a bi-product which is what causes the decay

Milk is bad as well. It causes tooth decay.

Here's a link to read: http://www.babycenter.ca/baby/sleep/settlewithmilk/

Ah, thanks luna. It's absolutely true about the ear infections. I have one little boy who was plagued by nonstop ear infections at about 1 year of age and the doctor recommended giving him his bottles in a semi-sitting position before putting him to bed so his parents and I both did that. The parents decided to wean him off bottles at about 14 months of age so we both worked hard at getting him onto the sippy cups at his meals and it worked well.

The sleep association also makes sense and my 15 month old boy has just been weaned off his bottle last weekend and he whined a bit at naptime this week but fell asleep just fine without his bottles so it doesn't have to be such a big deal.

I also agree about the tooth decay, but the choking danger is probably more serious for tiny babies, but that's just common sense.

I guess I am a very diligent daycare provider because I'm right here watching the children fall asleep and checking their breathing if they sleep longer than usual, patting their cheek to make sure they have a reaction and so forth. Every time there is some kind of recall on a product I get so mad because I think it's always common sense and it applies here.

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Originally Posted by Play and Learn

Milk is bad as well. It causes tooth decay.

Here's a link to read: http://www.babycenter.ca/baby/sleep/settlewithmilk/

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So does that mean you do not put children to bed with a bottle? Do you have a policy for this?

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Originally Posted by lilac

Bacteria in the mouth metobolizes foods left on the teeth (not only juice but also formula) and produces acids as a bi-product which is what causes the decay

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How about you? Do you allow it?

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Originally Posted by lunademiel

So does that mean you do not put children to bed with a bottle? Do you have a policy for this?

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Don't have a policy for it. Thought it was common sense!

When I had little ones in care, they would curl up on the couch or on a pillow on the floor and have their bottle. NEVER EVER have I let babies in bed with a bottle. Even my DH knows it's bad for babies to have bottles in bed, and we don't have kids of our own yet!!!

In centers, they don't allow this either.

I too always heard that it's bad to drink anything except water before bed PERIOD....but that milk/bottles due cause tooth decay as well. Thats why we brush our teeth before bed, so there isn't food on our teeth - same rule goes for kids.

I don't have a "written poilcy" for it either because I too thought it was just DONE that way. They can drink a bottle if they want before nap downstairs, we brush our teeth (all the kids) then go down for nap.

If a parent wanted the child to drink in bed I just wouldn't do it. I'd continue my way....but that's how I see things.

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

If a parent wanted the child to drink in bed I just wouldn't do it. I'd continue my way....but that's how I see things.

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My business, my rules!!!

exactly :thumbsup:

Interesting and something to think about - thanks ladies!

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

I too always heard that it's bad to drink anything except water before bed PERIOD....but that milk/bottles due cause tooth decay as well. Thats why we brush our teeth before bed, so there isn't food on our teeth - same rule goes for kids.

I don't have a "written poilcy" for it either because I too thought it was just DONE that way. They can drink a bottle if they want before nap downstairs, we brush our teeth (all the kids) then go down for nap.

If a parent wanted the child to drink in bed I just wouldn't do it. I'd continue my way....but that's how I see things.

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So what if the parent was insisting? Would you just not tell them? What about the transition and weaning from the bottle? They are GOING to cry for sure, do you let them cry? Do you let the parents know that's the plan? Am I just telling the parents too much?

I won't put a baby to bed with a bottle either although I hadn't thought of putting in in my contract. It's bad for the teeth and then there is the milk dripped all over my pack n pays...no thanks! I had one parent say that is how their baby goes to sleep, but I just never did it and she was just fine here. They never specifically asked me to do it. I would say to the parents that because of safety/health/ and hygeine (mention milk dripped in the playpen) you are not able to put babies to bed with a bottle as per current health and safety recommendations. I wouldn't specifically dote on the letting the baby cry unless they ask and then I would tell them that the child may cry a bit, but will likely adjust very quickly and that you will be there to reassure and comfort as needed. If the child uses a soother, perhaps that might help ease the transition. You might also suggest that the parents stop putting the child to bed with a bottle as well to help with consistency.

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Originally Posted by lunademiel

So what if the parent was insisting? Would you just not tell them? What about the transition and weaning from the bottle? They are GOING to cry for sure, do you let them cry? Do you let the parents know that's the plan? Am I just telling the parents too much?

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Do you have a trial period - where you can terminate care if it's just not a good fit...

I'd maybe offer a teddy or soft music - something else to make up for the 'lost' bottle OR try like the ladies said above...try with water instead.

The BIGGEST Problem is the parents are insisting - I'm sorry but I make the rules here, if they don't like it then they can find someone else who will let them make all the rules. This is just the begining.....if they're already telling you how to run your home and "make" you change your original rules....good luck in 5/6/7months from now. What else are you going to change for them because they are "insisting"?

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

The BIGGEST Problem is the parents are insisting - I'm sorry but I make the rules here, if they don't like it then they can find someone else who will let them make all the rules. This is just the begining.....if they're already telling you how to run your home and "make" you change your original rules....good luck in 5/6/7months from now. What else are you going to change for them because they are "insisting"?

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Yep this is where I wondered if this was a power struggle issue more then the actual bottle issue. This is not the 1st time my policies have been questioned with this particular parent. First it was my policies regarding vacation, then scheduled nap times, and now the insisting the bottle is necessary for nutrition. I honestly prefer her being weaned from the bottle at home since they have a month to do it. This is why it's in my policies to prepare the child for the transition. So now the child is going to have to adjust to daycare AND not getting the bottle to fall asleep. I also just don't understand why it's being questioned, my daycare, my rules!

It's amazing how much backbone is required for this business :)

Milk is necessary for nutrition...not the bottle! And, if the child will not take milk in a cup, he/she can still have the bottle before going to bed; that's what I do with those who are on bottles...I give it to them after lunch and then they go for their naps. From a parental point of view, I can understand wanting the child to have the bottle if he won't drink from a cup (I was in this position with my middle son and was thankful that his daycare provider was fine with me sending bottles as I wanted him to have the amount of milk my doctor was recommending). However, I can't understand why they are so insistent about him having it in bed with him, especially if they are aware that this is bad for his teeth (this has been pretty common knowledge for quite some time...I remember it from when my first son was a baby almost 17 years ago).

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Originally Posted by lunademiel

Yep this is where I wondered if this was a power struggle issue more then the actual bottle issue. This is not the 1st time my policies have been questioned with this particular parent. First it was my policies regarding vacation, then scheduled nap times, and now the insisting the bottle is necessary for nutrition. I honestly prefer her being weaned from the bottle at home since they have a month to do it. This is why it's in my policies to prepare the child for the transition. So now the child is going to have to adjust to daycare AND not getting the bottle to fall asleep. I also just don't understand why it's being questioned, my daycare, my rules!

It's amazing how much backbone is required for this business :)

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Yes milk is necessary for nutrition. I'm fine with giving her a bottle. I'm just not ok with it in bed. I'm also not ok with my policies being argued. I feel like I'm not being taking seriously. To her I'm just a glorified babysitter :)

I need to come up with a polite way to say that my policies are not up for negotiation!

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Originally Posted by lunademiel

I need to come up with a polite way to say that my policies are not up for negotiation!

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Just state it as so. "I shouldn't have to remind you, but my policies are not up for negotiation."

They don't like it, tough! They can leave.....

Wow ~ I didn't know!! My own girls went from breast to sippy cup and I never gave my own bottles to fall asleep.
I never realized the sugar content was more and the risks and I never did it myself. Apparently not common sense to me :o
Thanks for the info luna and ladies for the link! Moving forward I'm changing my policy.

As for a polite way to come up telling the parents, you can always let them know for safety reasons, your not comfortable with it and she/he will adjust. If they keep insisting then play and learn is right ~ let them know your policy are not up for negotiation.

Along with what everyone else has said...bottles also leak creating more work (laundry and cleaning of the pnp). I don't know about anyone else but I don't want to be doing extra laundry/cleaning every day. I don't allow bottles in bed and really don't care what parents say about it. It's not happening at my house and a child does NOT need a bottle IN bed to fall asleep. It's a horrible habit to start. I never even allowed this with my own kids and i personally prefer to not have bottles here at all. I prefer kids to be on a sippy cup from day 1 with me.

The mom is mostly just worried that the child is not getting enough nutrition because she's always too busy to eat and her teeth/gums have been bothering her so she feels this is the only way she'll get enough nutrition. I think I'll just reassure her that the power of social eating will encourage her to eat when the other children eat that she'll end up eating enough. And also tell her that it's up to her wether she wants to wean her from the the bottle in bed before she starts daycare or when she starts because I won't put her to bed with a bottle. She's aware that my wait list is a long one so she can decide if the power struggle is worth it or not. I need her to respect me and my day home.

PS thanks for all your replies!

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Originally Posted by lunademiel

The mom is mostly just worried that the child is not getting enough nutrition because she's always too busy to eat and her teeth/gums have been bothering her so she feels this is the only way she'll get enough nutrition. I think I'll just reassure her that the power of social eating will encourage her to eat when the other children eat that she'll end up eating enough. And also tell her that it's up to her wether she wants to wean her from the the bottle in bed before she starts daycare or when she starts because I won't put her to bed with a bottle. She's aware that my wait list is a long one so she can decide if the power struggle is worth it or not. I need her to respect me and my day home.

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So she's not even in care yet?! And she's trying to negotiate with you!?

I wouldn't take her on if you have a waiting list....NEXT!

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Originally Posted by Play and Learn

So she's not even in care yet?! And she's trying to negotiate with you!?

I wouldn't take her on if you have a waiting list....NEXT!

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YIKES! If I had a waiting list I would not be putting in this much effort for this woman. I'm also guessing that if she's fighting this hard for it this early on in the game - that not many other providers she may have looked into allowed bottle to bed either!

See the problem with my city is the very large demand for childcare so once I agreed to take this child on 6 months ago, the family is counting on me. There just isn't any other childcare available so I feel a HUGE responsibility. I don't want to leave them stranded over this. I think I'm just trying to be too understanding. Again, I just need a backbone...

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Originally Posted by lunademiel

The mom is mostly just worried that the child is not getting enough nutrition because she's always too busy to eat and her teeth/gums have been bothering her so she feels this is the only way she'll get enough nutrition. I think I'll just reassure her that the power of social eating will encourage her to eat when the other children eat that she'll end up eating enough. And also tell her that it's up to her wether she wants to wean her from the the bottle in bed before she starts daycare or when she starts because I won't put her to bed with a bottle. She's aware that my wait list is a long one so she can decide if the power struggle is worth it or not. I need her to respect me and my day home.

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Follow this and hopefully it'll all work out :)

If she's worried about the nutrition, the child can still have the bottle before naptime, just not in bed. Why not give it to her after lunch? I don't see how that should be an issue.

I think it`s just a bad habit and I don`t allow it. Luckily it hasn`t been a problem as of yet...noone`s asked me to. If it were to happen I`d hope that the parents would be on board to break a bad habit the earliest possible. If not, I would still not allow. They`re smart and understand what is acceptable at home and at daycare. Some parents rock their kids to sleep, I simply place them down and won`t do more. They get used to it, even if the parents continue to put their kids to sleep at home.

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Originally Posted by kangaroomama

If she's worried about the nutrition, the child can still have the bottle before naptime, just not in bed. Why not give it to her after lunch? I don't see how that should be an issue.

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Apparently she's a busy little one who doesn't want to sit and eat/drink!

I ended up explaining to mom that she'll see the others eating and will eat herself. Kids won't starve themselves and will become more flexible when hungry. And it's her choice if she wants to wean her now from the bottle in bed or when she starts daycare. So if she continues to argue the fact I may take others advice and state "my daycare, my rules, my policies are non-negotiable". Then she can decide if she wants to send her child to me :)

Late weighing in here and so much great advice already.

I thought I was queen of the anal policy manual for my business but I am another one who does not have a 'formal written policy' around bottles IN bed because there is so much public health education both online and in Dr offices, dentist offices, parenting magazines and well so many other venues that this is not a SAFE practice ... my own policy is that parents have to supply any bottles and bottle contents be it breastmilk, formula or normal milk ... cause I find that helps for them to be more 'on board' to moving to a cup soon after a year cause I provide the cup contents and as others said I find in group care kids 'wean off' things much faster cause they want to be big like the older kids .... I had a child last year join the group at 10 months still sending 4 eight ounce bottles a day - within 2 months he was eating our full menu save the 'standard do not offer til over a year' foods and consuming all liquids via a sipper cup every few weeks i would just send home one more 'untouched' bottle and explain to clients 'he was not showing interest in this one' until we were down to 1 bottle which kept going home for a few days cause mom would send it 'just in case he wanted it' but eventually she stopped cause he honestly did not ASK for a bottle here, was happy to take a sipper cup and preferred FOOD dude had a serious appetite for solids and I think had a milk allergy cause he got way happier on 'less milk' ;)

If I have wee infants still on bottles in care they get their bottle 'before' being transferred to bed either holding it on their own sitting up or if they are too tiny to hold it or if i can offer the 'comfort time' I will snuggle them with it but so they are on the angle to protect it from running into ears and if they start to fall asleep with it I pull it away which usually wakes them up a bit to ensure they swallow everything before transferring them into their crib for sleep.

Once children are old enough to be eating solid foods and getting their calories and nutrients from that I help parents to see the 'benefit' of weaning off the daytime bottles onto a 'cup' and learning to self soothe to sleep without the bottle.

If I had a parent who was 'insisting' on their child having a bottle IN bed I would have to tell them that unfortunately that request is a DEAL BREAKER because it is a liability issue and I am not willing to put myself in a position of liability to meet a parents 'practice at home' ... the bottom line is that this is YOUR BUSINESS and while these are the clients children and they have total say in what they WANT you have the FINAL SAY in what SERVICE YOU OFFER and if they do not like that they keep looking until they find someone willing to offer everything they want .... so refusing to do this for them is not you BAILING on them it is them CHOOSING to accept what you offer or keep looking instead ;)

Sorry, I meant to add to my post, little man woke up, I got distracted, didnt make it back before I forgot to continue. I've also not had a chance to read all the posts... I want to get this in before he wakes again... feeding on demand... and boy is he demanding! LOL!

I've never had anyone ask me to give their kids a bottle to sleep. Not sure what I'd do if a mom insisted... I'd make sure she was aware of why its not recommended. I'd probably not allow it (besides the decay thing) b/c I wouldnt want formula/milk leaking out of the bottle and into the playpen and going sour.

As far as my own kids, they were/are all breastfed so there was/is nothing I can do to stop them from going to sleep at the breast. And admittedly, if I cant get the little one to go to sleep... I resort to nursing him! Once I went to a bottle, I'd have a 2nd bottle of water that I would give them after they were finished, and even if they only got 1 or 2 pulls on it before passing out completely, at least it would act to cleanse their teeth a bit. And then I eventually switched their routine, to bottle before going to get ready for bed including brushing their teeth.

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Originally Posted by lilac

....As far as my own kids, they were/are all breastfed so there was/is nothing I can do to stop them from going to sleep at the breast. And admittedly, if I cant get the little one to go to sleep... I resort to nursing him! ....

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I would do the same thing. IMO breastmilk is 'natural' to the human body and since the dawn of time children have been nursed to sleep with it and we evolved to have healthy teeth .... IMU breast milk does not cause the same issues as 'formula and cows milk' which are not natural to US ... formula is man made and full of sugars to make it taste palatable and cows milk is meant for well BABY COWS and therefore humans do not digest it in the same manner and it breaks down into a higher form of sugar in our bodies and in our mouths as a result ... in reality we are the only mammals on earth who consume the breast milk of other animals for nutrition mostly because we CAN not sure if a cow would lie still for a fox cub to come up and suckle its teat ;)

Any way my point with breast feeding is that the human nipple does not continue to leak into their mouth as they fall asleep - as the start to fall asleep they suck less and less intensely and can than swallow what is in their mouth as the less they suck your flow of breast milk 'stops' and they are just suckling for comfort that last little bit before unlatching .... the challenge with a BOTTLE specially IN BED is that the milk or formula continues to LEAK into their mouth long after they fall asleep you do not need to SUCK on most bottles to get the liquid out you just turn it upside down and out it slowly comes ... so more likely to stay in mouth, on gums and form the plague that causes tooth issues, more likely to cause the choking issue and more likely to drip down into their ears and so forth.

Very good points... and this is coming from a mom who (don't throw rocks at me!!) got into this AWFUL habit with my first 3 kiddos, especially the older two. I am determined NOT to do it with my last baby. Even back then, I didn't like it, but I was admittedly a lazy bedtime parent. *shame*