S/O: Do you "cut off"?

I have been meaning to post this for some time, and another thread got me thinking about it....

At meal/snack times, do you allow all children to eat as much as they want? Or do you say no, based on time or how much food they've already had?

I saw Reggio addressing this issue on that aforementioned thread. But I ask because of my p/t boy, who does not seem to fill up! The other day at lunch he had 3 heaping plates of scrambled eggs, toast and ham. Plus a whole apple, sliced up. And he was still asking for more. He's barely 2 and a half! And this is just about every meal time. He consistenty eats about 3 times more than all the other kids.

Now, I should state that he is a BIG guy. Not "fat", but sturdy. He's already well into size 3 clothing, and will probably be in 4's if he keeps going, before his 3rd birthday. He is a GREAT eater, and eats just about anything put in front of him. I know for a fact mom and dad don't feed him "crap". Dad is average size/height, and mom is very tall and quite thin.

But I would think that letting him eat and eat and eat and eat.... is going to cause problems in the long run? What if he stops growing up and starts to just grow out? He also thinks that if ANYONE else is eating, he must eat, too. I don't often eat at the same time as the kids, and even if we have just had snack (for them) if I sit down with my coffee and banana, he's right there asking for a "bite". (Maybe that just annoys me, lol) I just remind him that he had his food, and now it's my turn.

What do you think? Just feed him until he says done? Or feed a reasonable portion, based on my own judgement?

My son is the same way. After 2 servings and 2 glaases of milk/water I say no more. otherwise I'd always be shopping :S

I would offer him seconds/thirds/fourths of veges but only one portion ( maybe two smaller portions) of the carb part of the meal ... Pasta rice breads crackers potatoes ect....and I would give him larger portions of the vege on the first plate.

This is funny mom-in-alberta, as I was thinking of posting this too but then changed my mind. I have a 15 month old that would eat non stop! Until recently, I was prepairing his food here but then his mom asked if she could bring his food from home as she gives him all organic. I don't always buy organic stuff and never told parents that I will. I was fine with it and she started bringing his food. The amount he eats unbeliveable! He is only 15months old! :) He is eating adult size portions.

I have another dck who is also a very! good eater, no less then above mentioned kid. I do give him as much as he eats but I have to admit sometimes I stop, not because I think It will cost me it's because I think he will explode! :) I would never stop giving food it's because it's going to cost me more. I think of them as my kids. :)

Ya for me I let them eat as much as they want - within reason.... i do not cook processed foods high in fat or sodium or fillers and i serve minimum high carb foods only in moderation anyway.

So I serve a balance first serving and if they are asking for more of the carb without having eaten the protein/fruit/vege portion on their plate they do not get seconds of anything until the plate is empty ... if they are truly hungry IMO they should willingly eat what is on their plate ... if their plate is empty I serve more of everything until what I prepared is gone ... of they are not willing to do that they are not truly hungry but just wanting extra of what they like.

So yesterday I served Taco salad and my crew of 4 ate two heads of lettuce, pound ground turkey with seasonings , 2 cups shred cheese, a pepper, a onion, pint cherry tomatoes and 1/4 bag Tostitos and salsa dressing ...I had intended to be able to prep once eat twice with that but they ate the entire salad so no leftovers for my lunch let alone for dinner salads for family...other days that same salad would have had leftovers but we spent the morning at the park - they worked up an appetite!

Many of my crew have appetites larger than my spouse who is 6'8" tall 250 pound retired army workout king ... none of my crew are over weight though ... we are just very active and burn through those calories.

Life is about common sense and balance ... if my crew were gaining weight and becoming obese I would certainly back serving more lower calorie options ... however TWO of my biggest eaters are not even at the midrange weights let alone top...been actually hoping one of them who is well over 40 inches would get to the 40 pound mark to allow him the option of the highback booster some days ... but alas sitting at 35 pounds forever!!

There is a difference too in allowing a child to eat 4 eggs and eating 4 bagels for example ... Eggs only have 70 calories each and 15 gram protein while a bagel is 300 cal and 54 carbs ... the eggs will take more calaries to digest than they are while the bagel turns to sugar in the system and the extra gets stored as fat!

This is a great question.
I have a 1 year old who is eating everything and anything and eating me out of house and home - lol:laugh: I thought she would be the tiniest eater but she never seems to get full so I am often filling her bowl/plate at least 2-4 times a meal...same with snacks. She is never just done the first round.

As for my other kids - it depends on what we are having. Things like Spaghetti or lasagna will likely go 2 servings min for each kid because they just love it so much and keep asking for more. Sometimes I literally have to show them the pot/serving dish is totally cleared out and say ;sorry there isn't any more.' There are days where it feels like none of them are getting food at home. lol

I also wonder if I should be allowing them that many servings. I know another provider in my area gives one serving and then tells them that is all and they have to wait for snack. I am not sure I could do that and let a child cry or become upset or say they are hungry and I just say no.

I always give them more or offer another fruit or something if things get too tough. I estimated my meals for taxes at $7 a day but I am really thinking I am waaaaaay above that and the cost of food just keeps going up.:huh:

I have some kids like this too. I always give them more, but again, within reason. If it is snacktime, I do cut them off at a certain point because it is meant to be a snack to tide them over, not an entire meal...but even then, I do give them more than oe serving. As some others have said, I will say no to more bread or crackers etc, but not usually to more soup or more broccoli etc (most of my group love broccoli!). If I am serving a bread type item, I serve the other parts of the meal first and they earn their bread by eating the other parts (this even works well for my picky almost 4 year old), but I do have a problem with one of my little ones...he's 14 months and some days he doesn't even want to touch anything I serve and sits their crying like I am hurting him by not serving something more appetizing. He holds out and I end up giving him bread and milk because I don't want him to go to bed with an empty stomach...but then it is a vicious cycle...I'm not sure what to do with this one!

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Originally Posted by kangaroomama

.... He holds out and I end up giving him bread and milk because I don't want him to go to bed with an empty stomach...but then it is a vicious cycle...I'm not sure what to do with this one!

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IMO it will not hurt him to go without 'food' for a meal ... as long as he is hydrated the human being can go DAYS without food just think of anytime you've had a really bad tummy flu ;)

I do not cave with children in my care ... I provide a wide variety of options at regular intervals their job is to choose if and how much they consumer .... seriously do you think in Ethiopia a 14 month old takes one look at the ROTTEN RICE they are being served because that is the only option they have and says 'nope I am holding out for a nice soft piece of bread and a glass of milk' :roll:

North American children are PICKY because we ALLOW them the option to be PICKY .... there is research that shows that SUGAR aka what bread / pasta / rice / potato breaks down into in the body in much larger concentrations than 'fruit/veggie' does actually reacts in the brain the same as COCAINE ... it can be addictive for sure and the more we have in our diet the more we WANT in our diet to fill that' void ... however what we WANT is not always what is BEST for us and adults it is our job to help children learn the difference between a NEED and a WANT.... we NEED a balanced diet of protein, fruits, veggies and so forth and high carbs foods in moderation ... in reality we do not even NEED rice, pasta, breads, sugary foods in our diet they are FILLER created to make us feel full in times of 'famine' because they are CHEAP SHELF STABLE ITEMS - nutritionally they offer very little that cannot be gotten in fruits, veggies, legumes or other 'better choices' specially when you take into account their 'calories per serving' in comparison and the fact that we now have access to fruits / veggies and other better choices YEAR ROUND verses back centuries ago when if you did not hunt or gather it - you went hungry for days ;)

Thanks Reggio! I completely agree with everything you have said! With my own kids I have followed this...you don't want it, too bad, you get nothing else. I think I just find it harder with the daycare kids...especially this little one because he is part-time and I know his parents give in and give him bread of whatever, so then he doesn't understand why I'm not doing it. But, your post has renewed my dedication to not giving in...I think I will be tougher from now on. I know if he were older, I would not give in, but it is harder with a young one who doesn't understand. All the other kids eat well or at least eat parts of the meal, but this one just sits there and cries. I tried to teach him how to spoon feed himself (the other two who are close to his age do it), but he got mad and batted my hands away. He is used to it being done for him. Anyway, I think I've hijacked this thread...so I'll stop venting. No more caving!

Kangaroomama - do you do a newsletter or other 'information sharing' with your clients? I do a monthly newsletter with either a 'children's corner' or a 'parent corner' in it where I stick links to articles online about various parenting challenges ... so my passive aggressive way of dealing with your 14 month old picky eating would be to do a 'how to raise a healthy eater' article and post links that back up your practice of NOT CATERING to picky eaters if they would like more info on where you got your references in sharing your opinion ;)

I have a skinny little guy in my daycare who can east 2nds, 3rds, 4ths, but I usually cut him off after 2nds or 3rds. I'm not sure he can tell when he is full. His parents are both very large people and I think he is used to larger portions at home than he is at daycare. But when I put the children's plates in front of them they have a lot of food on there and one serving is enough or too much for the other 4 children. I guess some children must have really high metabolism.

One of the reasons I dole out the food instead of letting the kids serve themselves - besides the fact I have mostly little ones - is that I can then manage who gets a little because that is their appetitie and serve more to the hearty eaters. It saves a lot of money as there is much less waste. And it isn't necessarily the oldest that is the biggest eaters either.

I get very frustrated with the amount of food I have to throw in the garbage so tend to offer very small servings to some of the children, but still I'm giving them a plateful because for example today at lunch we had pork chops, corn, carrots, bread and potatoes. One little girl doesn't like carrots and one little girl doesn't like corn but the boys all had everything. Oy! Then my boy who is the big eater asked for more pork chop and more carrots. I usually eat the leftovers for my lunch so when I cut him off it's because I need a little food! But I serve organic produce and bread products which are very expensive so that's what ticks me off when I have to throw those things in the garbage. Sometimes when a child won't eat their food and I know for sure they haven't touched it or sneezed or coughed on it I give it to the boy who eats a lot.

I would not be putting bread on the plates if I had some that were not good eaters. If I know they don't like a food they get 3 carrot coins and that would be it for instance - enough if they wanted to try it again but not enough to be wasteful. My gang won't chew a pork chop - even the 3 year olds so I would have to cut them off and make them smaller pieces - I have done a pork loin/pork roast and then simmered it in water to heat and soften then drain and stir in a bit of sweet and sour sauce to encourage eating and that works but alone they won't touch it - too much effort.

For vegetables I almost always use the frozen mixed veggies and just the store brand for cost. That way I don't have to worry about who likes what and the pieces are small enough for the toddler finger feeders.

I would offer toast with a hint of jam as "dessert" - jam makes it a sweet treat right.... at least my kids think so. But since it is an earned treat ie eating the food on your plate first the meat has to be chewed before you get the bread. Usually the only one that ever gets this far is the hearty eater cause he just eats and the others play and delay the inevitable of that is all there is to choose from so pick something and eat it and then pick another pile and eat that too.

With a group that is good eaters if I make the morning snack bigger that seems to help and there you can use the cheaper starchy foods to add to the regular snack.

Playfelt, my bread item is always minimal, a small croissant or 1/2 slice of bread or a few crackers. I'm a person who doesn't eat bread because it does fill me up too fast so I see your point.

I don't serve frozen veggies, always organically grown, freshly peeled and chopped by my hands. It's odd that your children don't like to chew meat, but I serve chicken breast, pork chops or tenderloin, steak, roast beef cut very small to the children as soon as they start at 10-11 months. If they won't eat I admit to resorting to a tiny bit of ketchup or mustard to get them to finish. Jam is pure sugar, but once a week we have a treat day so that's a good idea for a different treat.

Thanks for the input. I have to admit that I usually say "no, I think that's enough" after the third (or so) plate. And he's not "filling up" on the carbs, alone, either. We have the same rule, in that you eat EVERYTHING on your plate first and then you can have more veggies first, then meat/protein. He just eats a LOT!

You also have to be careful that the child isn't trying to fill up on the kid friendly noodles an chicken nuggets so it will tide them over so they don't have to eat the supper that mom cooks which might not be as child friendly. I know often the opposite is more likely to be true.

Just because a child can eat a certain amount of food and it doesn't look like it is showing on the child now I don't allow any child to eat more than an adult size serving which is equivalent to two child servings so seconds maybe and then that is it. And if I have a child that is constantly wanting more I make sure there are more foods on the plate that require them to slow down and chew and swollow instead of just wolfing it down.

I think, and don't get me wrong, I am not saying this to save money on food, not at all, but I truly beleive that if the FIRST serving was an adequate portion for a kid, I would serve one more, and only one more of it.

3-4 portions of food is giving bad eating habits to kids. Even if it is healthy. Eating too much is not a good thing! And certainly not necessary. When they get to the third bowl, they are NOT hungry anymore, no one will ever make me beleive this. On the other hand, if they ask me 3-4 servings of carrots, cauliflower, spinach and asparagus, I would GLADLY give them some! But in a weird way (pfffff) THEY NEVER DO! How hungry is that!



So I start my meal with a soup, or a veggies juice. I give them one or two serving of the main dish. And some fruits and yogourt. Along with some water.

I do the same thing with snacks. One banana is enough! But one of the kids here would eat 3. Tehre is no way I will give him 3 bananas. So it is one banana, along with some cereals, some milk, or a muffin (you see the idea I guess!)

Ya I think ultimately you have to know your crew and which ones eat due to true appetite because they are active and burning a lot of calories and need it to sustain them and which ones have 'lost' their ability to know if they are full or eating cause they are bored and so forth.

I have two kids who often eat 3 bananas with at least 2 bowls if not 3 full bowls of yogurt in the morning - between my crew when I serve yogurt they eat two large containers - if I cut them off at two 1/2 cup serving by 10:30 in the morning I would be dealing with 'hungry behaviour' like aggression / irritability and so forth and we would all be 'suffering' with that as a result ... I know cause there have been times where my spouse ATE some of the yogurt and therefore I did not have two full containers to serve ;)

My kids are fruit hogs ... they will eat the entire melon at one sitting - watermelon, honeydew, cantaloupe. I have to buy a dozen kiwi cause they will each eat two, two bananas per kid is common, pound of strawberries and grapes easy, two pints of berries like raspberry, blackberrie, blueberries and so forth ... seriously fruit HOGS!

But veggies too ... Monday afternoon they ate the entire bunch of celery done up as 'ants on a log' with peanut butter and chocolate chip and raisin ants .... those huge containers of cherry tomatoes at Costco - easily gone at a lunch unless I hide some to have in a salad another day. Fresh French green beans are popular here - cold right out of the bag either as snack or with lunch!

Reggio, their activity level don't interfere with the size of their stomach.

I mean, 3-4 servings of a meal is NOT NORMAL for a kids stomach. This is teaching kids to overeat, this is knowingly stretching their small stomach.

They are active, they are burning, ok, why not give them less food, but more often. This, to me, would make more sens!

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Originally Posted by Sarah

....They are active, they are burning, ok, why not give them less food, but more often. This, to me, would make more sens!

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I already feed them every 3 hours ;)

We are going to have to agree to disagree in regards to caloric intake and daily exercise cause IME it is VERY relative .... a body that has a high muscle mass because it is 'active' burns more calories in general and even more so when they are active and therefore NEEDS more calories to sustain it verses a body mass that is low in muscle mass and higher in 'fat' .... my spouse was a body builder when he was in the army and when he was training he would eat 3 times a 'normal' person at a sitting just to sustain himself...even now that he no longer active he still eats more than a 'normal' person however is muscle:fat ratio is still very high - he burns more calories so if he does not eat hearty at meal time he 'looses weight' just doing nothing - drives me nuts!

So in comparison a child who is ALWAYS active and therefore has a very high muscle mass verses body fat in their metabolism is yes either going to have to eat a normal meal EVERY HOUR which lets face it is not possible in a group setting or is going to need LARGER SERVINGS at their normal meals/snacks every three hours .... honestly I am not exaggerating when I say my crew is very physically active - we are outside 2-4 hours out of our 9 hour day almost every day and they are not just active in daycare but they are in extra curricular activities like swimming, soccer, karate, gymnastics and so forth ... some of the poor things are in something almost EVERY NIGHT ... so their appetites are normal for their activity level - they need that many calories to just maintain ... when they hit a growth spurt they eat MORE on me!

Well who knows? I am not ALWAYS right! Almost always though! hahahahaha!!!

No seriously, I am not a specialist in the question, so I will take your word on this!

And it would drive me nuts as well to be around your husband (or whatever hi title is!) lol!!!

I do agree that 3-4 servings for a child is outrageous when they are all approximately the same size and most of the other children don't even completely finish their first serving. I make sure the children receive plenty of food from all the food groups (except chocolate - which I consider a food group for me, heehee). I give them breakfast at 8am, lunch at 11:30am and snack at 3pm. Sometimes it seems like all they do is eat! But as Reggio said I also keep the group very active, outside most mornings from 9am - 11am, then active again after snacktime for the children who are still here. I spend a fortune on food for these little ones but I know their parents sometimes give them junk food for supper because they are busy so the children are getting most of their nutrition at daycare.

Wow! Reggio...really three bananas for one kid? You must spend a fortune on food! I agree that if they are active they need more, but I have actually reduced how much I serve at snacks a bit and I personally, actually limit the fruit a bit because it makes my group poop like crazy! Plus, it is a lot of sugar, even though it is natural sugar and healthy in the right amounts. Now, I do serve fruit usually twice a day, but I wouldn't serve more than one banana per child or the equvalent serving of other fruits plus a grain or yogurt, cheese etc. I tell them, it is a snack, not a meal. At lunchtime I serve repeatedly, but it is because I give small portions so I don't end up throwing food away. I actually do have kids who will ask for more and more and more broccoli :) I keep serving until it is all gone. I get Reggio's point about activity level, but I also get Sarah's point about teaching them appropriate eating habits. It's a balance and I am sure both of you are doing well with it ;)

Ya - balance and knowing your crew is key ... last year I had a picky eater who ate like a bird ... and some days they will eat 4 servings and the next day they eat next to nothing depending on how active they were or how they are feeling and I ended up with leftovers out the wazoo .... but between them all yes I spend a fortune in food ... I have Celiac so a lot of my food served is gluten free to boot so that I can eat with the kids at meal times ... to be honest between the daycare and personal groceries for my spouse and I - last year I spent just over $18,500 on groceries which is so depressing to see add up.

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Originally Posted by Sarah

Well who knows? I am not ALWAYS right! Almost always though! hahahahaha!!!

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LOL - just wanted to add I think in this case we could actually both be correct ;)

I do agree feeding certain children 3-4 servings at every meal is not healthy ... had a kid in a daycare years ago who 'over ate' because from infancy no one paid attention to his hunger cues ... children typically naturally will eat more leading up to a growth spurt but than 'slow down' and sort of 'yo yo' back and forth in appetite innately as they 'need' more under certain time frames .... however his parents in those HIGH APPETITE times assumed that was what he 'needed' so when he would slow down as an infant they would PUSH him to eat the same as he did going into a growth spurt cause they were 'worried' he was not eating enough ... they did not TRUST him to know how much he needed and follow his lead so his innate ability broke ... as a result as he grew he did not trust his own 'gauge' for what he needed and would eat what made his parents 'praise' him ... than on top of that his lifestyle was sedentary ... his parents were stay home and watch TV types verses get out to the park after dinner types ... he did not get a chance to burn off those extra calories he consumed and so he was obese as a result ... this is where balance and knowing your child comes into play ... so with him we WOULD limit his foods at daycare - at least the higher calorie higher carb foods to one child size serving and replace the rest of his options with low calorie high fibre options to fill his perceived 'hunger' from years of being overfed.

Balance and reflection on common sense for sure.

Once again, thanks for your input. I think if this little fella went through the typical "phases" of eating that you mentioned above, I wouldn't question it. My own kids eat like birdies some days and horses others!!
But you are right, striking a balance is key. I was looking at him the other day, and (as I mentioned) he is a sturdy boy. Understandably, he eats more than some kids. But I will continue to use my own judgement, at least a little, when serving him.

I have 2 twin boys here, when I first got them 6 months ago, they would eat like crazy and they were so over excited all the time (I do not mean active) and pooing all the time. They were not "fat" per say, but were heavy as hell and still had what I thought was what I call "their babies belly."

When I say they would eat like crazy, it is not a joke. They would get here right after their breakfast to find my sons having their breakfast, so they would cry for food. Eating the same amount of food my own did. But this was their second one! And I did ask their parents what time the ate, what they had, etc... Then, I serve a snack à 9:15am. They would double, triple (for exemple 2-3 sometimes even 4 bananas along with yogourt, or 2-3 glasses of milk, etc..) Then same thing at lunch at 11:30, then snack at 3:00 doubling, tripling all the time!

And one day, I noticed that when mom and dad were picking them up, around 4-4:30, they had a snack ready in their car seat. Not healthy, by the way. I asked them if they realized their kids just had a snack about an hour ago. Their answer was yes but they are big eaters. Really?

From that day on, I stopped doubling or trippling their snacks, and I offered 1 or 2 portion for lunch (My portion being what my own 9 yo son eats and he is a good eater!!!). I do not give them another breakfast when they get here, unless the parent dropping off tells me they were so late that they gave a really quick breakfast (happened once!).

Over the months, they changed so much! They went from excited kids to behaving kids, from running everywhere kids to running everywhere when it is time to. Their belly, after 6 months, is gone. Friday, their mom asked my if I noticed. Of course I did, I have to pick them up everyday! They are lighter. Their poop schedule is now stable. And their poop itself is not diahrrea anymore (one of them was always diahrrea). When they go for nap, they probably feel better because they don't move, they just fall asleep right away. But when I was trippling their portions, they would roll, sit, stand, lie down again, roll..... I figured, but might be wrong, that they were feeling too full.

So yes Reggio, we both might be right here! Guess knowing your crew and your crew's eating habit is necessary to judge this!

Sometimes parents want to by peace (like the treats in the car seats) but they give bad habits to their children!

I am a really overwighted person, and I became that way from really bad habits and not it is difficult to get out of the circle! I don't want my kids to overeat, to expand their stomach. I want them, and the ones I care for, to eat well but what I want the most is for them to KNOW when it is enough

I can say that after 6 months, they now will stop by themself in the middle of their second portion, pushing their bowl away. So I now thrust them to know when they really are finished!

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Originally Posted by Sarah

....So yes Reggio, we both might be right here! Guess knowing your crew and your crew's eating habit is necessary to judge this!...

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:wub:

Yup - in your case above I too would have wondered if their inability to 'focus' or 'relax' when circumstances dictated was due to high glucose levels from too much food consumption!

I should clarify that here once you reach your Canada's food guide serving of GRAINS for a child you get cut off regardless cause I personally think our food guide is stacked to HIGH in grains for political reasons verses health reasons - I would not be letting a child eat 3 full bagels or 4 x a 1/2 cup serving of pasta at a sitting like I would with the 3 bananas or 2 kiwi serving sizes or 3 cups of salad ... I only make enough GRAINS for 1 serving per child and just serve them 'small' so they think they are getting more - aka I cut a bagel in half and than that half into 1/4's when serving so if they ask for 2,3.4 servings of everything they are still only getting a 1/2 bagel by the end of the snack or meal - but they got LOTS of fruits / veggies and other healthier choices ... and once the bagel is gone if they are 'hungry' all that is left as options are the fruit/veggies/protein being served.

I also empathize with the fear of creating poor eating habits ... my father was a 'clean your plate' type who if it got put on your plate you ATE it even if you were not feeling well or just not hungry (many a time I finished my plate only to go to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and vomit it up cause I really was not hungry - nice way to teach a kid to be bulimic ) and flip side mother taught me to emotionally eat - everytime I was hurt or sad as a kid the answer was 'here is a cookie it will make you feel better' .... and my parents separated when I was 2 and my dad was abusive so my childhood was often 'sad' :rolleyes:

I was able to 'balance' those habits when I was young and ACTIVE in sports and extra curricular activities because if I binged on crap when upset I could work it off skating or running laps at track or what not ... my weight as a child was fine and as a teenager it yo yo'd that 10-15 pounds all my adolescent life as I fought for 'balance' over bad habits like that as teenage years were also emotional ... than in 1998 I herniated my disc at work and when I hurt my back and suddenly was sedentary for nine months not able to walk more than to the bathroom and back or to the fridge and back - I gained 80 pounds cause everyone was bringing 'comfort food' cause I was in pain and that was how my family dealt with 'emotions' bury them with food ... as I healed enough to 'exercise' again working out to the extent I did before was not possible but eventually I got that weight back off after a year doing 2-3 hours a day of low impact stuff at the gym - only to have a medical hysterectomy shortly after that and the hormone treatments caused me to gain it all back PLUS in extra weight and the other treatment fried my thyroid and since I have not been able to get that fricken weight off either ... I no longer HAVE 2-3 hours a day to spend at the gym cause I work 12 hours a day and with the thyroid even eating a diet of 1000 calories which should allow a normal person to loose 2-3 pounds of a week it will take 9 months for me to notice 2 pounds on the scale - so here I sit 100 pounds over my 'ideal' weight just sort of 'accepting' this is my lot in life :(

This experience definitely affects my 'nutritional philosophy' with kids for sure!

It is why my serving sizes are small to start - so that if they do not eat at one meal I and not feeling the need to make them clean their plate to avoid frustration from waste and expense - cause I can freeze untouched leftovers for another time.

I also only serve 'treats' in moderation on birthdays or special occasions and even then they come with 'healthy' sides.

You do not fill up on pudding or cookies or brownies cause you are having a bad day and you do not get a fudgecicle cause you bumped your knee and it will shut up the crying ... you can cry if you need to no shame in that and I will give you some TLC and ICE for your knee ... but nothing goes in your mouth just cause you are sad or feeling hurt!

I would say we have reach a complete agreement with these extra explanation (or maybe I didn't notice it in the other posts!!!) on grains (which by the way I SO agree with you that the Canadian Food is being too political about it, and I would even say they do the same for milk products)

I kind of do the same thing for the portions (such as cutting bread in 4, and serving 4 times but it stays 1 bread!)

The problem with grains seeming like so much is that they reduced what they call a serving size to something like 45g when the reality is that very few bread slices are less than 70 so a grilled cheese for lunch is 3 grain servings.

You are right, I went to a nutritionist a few years ago and she told me that a full bagel is about 3 servings of grain and I used to think that was 1 serving. I always thought I was way under on my daily grain servings but it turned out it was over and bread items are not my favourite part of the meal. I seem to remember her telling me that the Canada Food Guide had reduced the sizes of the servings several years back.

I think the rule of thumb to feed the children is to give a good balance of diary/protein/grains/fruits/veggies throughout the day and to make sure you have full tummies all around without letting them go crazy and limit the sugar. If you do that you are doing a good job.