"Divorcing" while running a Dayhome....

Hey Ladies,
So I've just been hit with the news last night that my spouse has changed his facebook status from "in a relationship" to "single"....yes, seriously. We fought two weeks ago, haven't been talking since, and our relationship has really been not that great for a long time so I am not surprised ....though it does look really bad on his part of how he went about announcing it to the world before actually letting me know that we were done. I just need your support and assurance from anyone out there that has gone through a divorce or separation. I am kind of relieved to know that I will finally have some peace from him but more so worried about what happens next, how i go about everything in regards to the dayhome, lawyers, moving etc....

OH my! First off, I'm so sorry that he went about it the way that he did!!!! That's not right. I can't offer any advice on divorce though ( I am still with my spouse although it was touch and go for a while) but I would hope that your daycare families are understanding and supportive during this time!

Oh hon :crying:

So sorry to read this .... If you are sure this is what you WANT and what HE WANTS cause sometimes they SAY stupid shit and do not mean it including changing a FB status - my step sister did that to her spouse as a message to him that she FELT single due to their lack of communication not that she wanted OUT of the relationship per say ... I would totally call a lawyer though and ASK what you need to do to protect yourself through custody and separation and so forth.

I to have no first had experience with formal divorce either - but my educated guess based on peers who've done this - would be that having a 'business' out of your primary residence should give you the upper hand in the initial separation in 'maintaining' that residence and him having to be the one to leave as your 'income' is tied to the house ... than depending on your financial situation, who gets custody of any children and how child support is determined - you might have to 'buy him out' of the home of it has 'equity' in it as part of the divorce settlement or if you cannot afford to do that outright - you might be able to have his child support lowered by the amount you 'owe him' until his 'equity' if the house is reimbursed that way.

Sending you strength and courage that if possible you can reconcile your differences and perhaps save the marriage - have you discussed counseling? Either way you have lots of ears and shoulders here I am sure!

wow. ok. That's low! I have no advice, but just want to offer sympathy and support.

First of all, sending lots of hugs and support your way. Secondly, the only thing I'd say is figure out for sure what's happening with your partner. Talk things out and make sure you're on the same page. If things really are over and you really do have to move, then I think you should let your clients know right away because they'll have to figure out if they can still make it to your new location, wherever that may be. If you don't have to move, then it's not as important to keep them in the loop since it's your personal life. If they are used to seeing your partner around, then you could give them a heads up that they won't be seeing him any more. That's all that comes to mind right now. All the best. :(

Omg. Very sorry to hear this but hopefully, you will have some peace and it won't be a messy divorce. Do you know a good lawyer? I know from a friend who went through this and she was able to stay in her house and bought him out. I'm sure you can too. Especially, you run your business from home.

Regarding running a day home while going through divorce, I would absolutely carry on doing it. It will take your mind off at least a bit. If you can take a week or two to get your head around. If you think you are not fit to look after kids find an assistance to help you for a while. That is what I would do.

I can see you are also from Calgary. Let me know if you need/want to talk.


Cocoon

Gawd.......I'm so sorry and please post/vent on here as much as you need to!!!!! I have no personal advice to offer but when our next door neighbors split, he got to stay in the house because he had a home based business!!

I'm so sorry!!! (((hugs)))

What a dick!

Ahem! . . so sorry.

I think you should keep the house and he should move considering you run your business out of your home and need the income to survive on your own.

I'm so sorry you have to go through that while running your business. I am divorced, but I wasn't running a dayhome while it was happening. But I will tell you, the smartest thing I did was know what I was entitled to. I knew how much money was where and how much was mine! I did my research and tried very hard to not let emotions get in the way. I discussed everything with my husband and agree'd on what I was taking and what I was owed before I got a lawyer. I then took all of that information into my lawyer, her drew up the paperwork and we were done! No back and forth, no mediation, we decided on everything without the lawyers then just made it legal.

I wish you all the best in your new adventure. Make sure you take care of yourself first.

I think you need to sit your husband down right now and ask point blank questions. So sorry he is being stupid, but get answers to your questions and don't take no for an answer. I've been divorced twice and I'm so DONE with men. I wish I knew why they are all such idiots.

I am sorry that I have no advice. The others have made some fantastic recommendations, though. I would contact a lawyer, even if you weren't legally married. Common law is slightly different, but you will still have to do the "pots and pans" thing (who gets what).
I wish you the very best, my dear. That is a low and dirty-dog way to get the point across though, if I may speak candidly.
:(