My bad eater

She has been in her seat since 7:40am to eat her bowl of oatmeal. She LOVES oatmeal but as mom mentioned earlier this week she has been testing everyone in the last few days and she now HAS to eat. She is SO stubborn...last week she stayed with grandparents while parents were on vacation and went a full two days without eating or drinking a thing....she passed out!!

The parents have been to Dr. after Dr. and the "you'll eat sooner or later" approach doesn't work wih her. They now suggest since she is 3yrs old to make her eat.....just make her!

She's just sitting there away from the other kids who are doing crafts (her favorite time) and giving me evil-stink-eye.

(sigh)

I really don't want to battle it out with her at lunch again it's so draining....she's a GREAT kid except for when eating is involved.

Wow! You could try feeding the other kids something she LOVES but don't give her any. Just put her in the high chair and make her watch while they eat cup cakes or something. If she's anything like anyone else on this planet lol she'll eventually start getting jealous. When she asks for one - only give her a sliver. Just keep making her ask for more. If that doesn't work, I got nothing lol That's terrible that a little girl would starve herself like that! There has to be something else behind it. A child would not refuse to eat if they were hungry. Maybe she's not hungry, which would probably mean there is something wrong.
But I would try the jealous tactic. That works with everyone lol let me know how it goes

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

She has been in her seat since 7:40am to eat her bowl of oatmeal. She LOVES oatmeal but as mom mentioned earlier this week she has been testing everyone in the last few days and she now HAS to eat. She is SO stubborn...last week she stayed with grandparents while parents were on vacation and went a full two days without eating or drinking a thing....she passed out!!

The parents have been to Dr. after Dr. and the "you'll eat sooner or later" approach doesn't work wih her. They now suggest since she is 3yrs old to make her eat.....just make her!

She's just sitting there away from the other kids who are doing crafts (her favorite time) and giving me evil-stink-eye.

(sigh)

I really don't want to battle it out with her at lunch again it's so draining....she's a GREAT kid except for when eating is involved.

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I have a child like this and the key is to not make a big deal about it at all. Give her healthy options and she will eat. If you get emotional she sees it as a HUGE attention getter and she will starve just for the attention. Throw out the oatmeal and hope for the best for next snack or meal. Trust me don't let he see you get upset just don't give any emotion to it at all. SHE will come around she has too as she is clearly hungry!

P.S Not milk with meals either as these kids tend to fill up and then won't eat at all! Have milk just before quite time!

I wouldn't fight with her or let it get to you either. If she refuses to eat then she goes hungry until the next meal/snack. I would only serve her little bits at a time so that your not wasting so much food either. Don't give her a drink before meals either, milk will fill her up or make her feel full when she's not. She is for sure old enough to know exactly what she is doing. Its a form of manipulation because there isn't anything else that little ones can control in their lives besides what they eat. Eventually, when she is hungry enough she will eat. And when she sees that it doesn't both you if she eats or not the game will stop and she will have to try to find some other way to manipulate you. I had one like this too and within a couple days she realized that I didn't care whether she ate or not. I did my job by offering her healthy meals, she refused and I don't force feed. She still had to sit at the table until the others were done and then we went about our daily activities. She was not given anything in between meals/snacks. Its her right to refuse to eat and so long as we don't make a big deal out of it or give the attention they want it will stop.

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

?..went a full two days without eating or drinking a thing....she passed out!! .

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Wow! That is the first I have ever heard of kids taking it that far! And she's 3...she knows better. It seems like an obvious control thing to me. I too like the idea of a 'no big deal' approach. Go along with normal routine; if she eats she eats. Not really our job to go beyond the attempt to offer nutrition. The worst thing I did when our niece did this (we were babysitting her for an extended time too while parents were on vacay) was to resort to sweets to get her to eat...then that was all she wanted;)

Oh my word, I know exactly how you feel. I have a little one who started a month ago, and she will go the entire day without eating!
It stressed me out at first, and I still feel awful at the end of the day when Mom picks her up and I have to tell her that she didn't eat at all, but I can not sit there with her for an hour while she refuses to touch anything, and I am not a short order cook who will make something different for her. She doesn't care if she doesn't get a dessert (usually an arrowroot, or fruit cup), and she doesn't care that the other kids get to go play once they're finished.
I decided to stop stressing over this, continue to offer her the healthy foods we eat and she can leave the table when the last child finishes up! If it's not on her extremely short list of edible foods, she will not touch it and i'm not about to get my panties in a twist over a stubborn 3 yrs old!

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Originally Posted by Lou

She doesn't care if she doesn't get a dessert (usually an arrowroot, or fruit cup), and she doesn't care that the other kids get to go play once they're finished.

I decided to stop stressing over this, continue to offer her the healthy foods we eat and she can leave the table when the last child finishes up! If it's not on her extremely short list of edible foods, she will not touch it and i'm not about to get my panties in a twist over a stubborn 3 yrs old!

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She's like that! I thought the jealously thing might work but noooooo and I the fact that she's 3yrs old and knows better is what fuels me even more. But what can I do? Thanks Ladies....I'll try the "don't care" and see where that takes us.

My faster eaters get to go watch tv in the next room when they are done (since upstairs playroom area is set up for naps while they eat). Amazing how much food suddenly gets eaten in the 5-6 minutes after the tv goes on.

I had a girl in care who was the slowest eater on the planet. I tried everything to get her to hurry, going ahead and having circle time and leaving her at the table, she didn't care, putting everybody to bed, she was still there and didn't care. She kept eating, just very slowly and she wouldn't care if she sat in that seat all day and I just changed her plate from breakfast to lunch to snacktime I swear!

Then I tried just giving her tiny portions and taking it all away when all the other children were finished. She didn't care about that either. Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do because we have to keep things on schedule! I think you should try a few different things like I did and figure out what is best for you. Of course, I always told the parents everything I was doing so they knew how much their child actually ate every day and why or why not.

Day #1 of 'no big deal' approach = staring at her fork the entire time - 30min and not touching the plate or even looking at me. My DD finished eating the meal + fruit to follow, went potty, washed up and was tucked in for nap. Came back down and nothing had moved. I removed her plate, told her to go potty and put her to bed too.

(sigh)

I really hope for her sake she gives in sooner than later because I wont!

Yep, it's 3:04pm and dcg (now sleeping) hasn't had a single bite all day. She sits at the table the whole time until the last child is finished then gets down. I used to coax her, bribe her, get frustrated and just decidedI'm done with it! According to Mom, all she eats is dry cereal at home...not happenin' here mama! lol

SO....I started thinking about the fact mom gives the 3 years old a bottle still "in the middle of the night" and I dont know why it didnt CLICK for me sooner? Yesterday and today when she arrived I gave her a small cup of chocolate milk and thats it!

Guess who ate her entire lunch both day without me having to say a word!!!! ALLELUIA!!!!

She's still a 'slow' eater but Ill take that anyday over the before!

Now how to fill mom in that a) STOP giving her the bottle at night or b) no more breakfast........... .or not say anything at all? She already doesn't know that dcg sleeps for 3hrs with no sucky (at home its 30min and 3 suckies) <<eyeroll>>