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Good morning everyone! So, i have a 4 year old who has been here for a year, with a younger sibling. All this week the 4yro has been making a bit of a scene and crying at drop off. Has never acted like this before....even at the very beginning! After a minute of being left alone at the door, comes into the play room just fine and carries on with a normal day. Any ideas what this is all about? Should I ask parents what they think is going on? Thanks and happy Friday!!!!!
My son did this at his daycare when I was working outside of the home. I just chalked it up to a phase. It was just big hugs at the door, "i'll pick you up later" and off he went. I spent a little more time one on one with him outside of daycare hours.
I have an almost 2 yo who is doing this suddenly as well! I am also expecting that it's a phase. Normally, she gets excited when dropped off, and during pick up, she doesn't want to leave. This week, she is whining and clinging to mom. I keep assuring mom that nothing has happened. I feel like I should feel guilty when this happens, as if the child suddenly dislikes me.
At that age, my first thought is always has something changed at daycare? new kid transitioning, did they have a potty training accident, was it a bad day recently for the other kiddos...if nothing has changed there, has something changed at home...parents fighting, new baby in the family (even if not a sibling, my son hates my sisters new baby and he's 5 lol), did they change his/her room. So many things that we think are little can upset a 4 year old.
If nothing has changed it could just be behaviour. They want to stay home with mom/dad and think that crying at drop off will somehow allow that.
I have a 2 year old who is doing it now...nothing has changed but his behaviours. Mom and Dad report some pretty bad behaviours at home and now he has started crying at drop off again. Totally fine within seconds, but has now learned how to manipulate mom. I don't feel bad or guilty about it because I know its just a manipulation with him...he plays just fine all day and has a great time, laughs and smiles. I feel bad for Mom though because she always leaves wondering so I text her within a couple minutes to say he is fine...
This is exactly how I feel....like Mom would be wondering why he all of a sudden makes a fuss, and he is old enough to say what's wrong but won't. Should I ask Mom what she thinks problem is?Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphaghetti
Hi! My thoughts too but absolutely nothing has changed, here or at home!! All he says is that he wants mama. He too is fine as soon as door closes behind Mom but really, he is 4!!Quote:
Originally Posted by michellesmunchkins
I think Alphagetti is right, nothing has to have changed at daycare or home and is a phase but doesn't hurt to ask them.
I had a little one do this before and the parents and I arranged for them to give hugs and kisses in the car. They walked them up to the door, I took the little one into the house and they waved good bye. Few tears for a week but then it became routine and the fits at the door stopped.
Good luck
Sounds like he's trying to play Mom to me. Kids are smart! They figure out quite quickly how to play their parents and if his crying is making her feel bad, or if she is responding to it with the oh my poor baby, or its ok and extra hugs and kisses then she is playing into it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily3
How does the Mom react? I had to tell the mom of the little guy I have to stop with all the lovey dovey extra hugs and mommy loves you and please stop crying because really it was only making it worse. She no sooner got in her car and he was done and smiling. Once she stopped falling for the drama his tears were way less and most days now he doesn't even bother because neither one of us react to it anymore.
HA!!! my 3yr old strted that last week out-of-the-blue!! She would normally arrive asking for my DD and super excited. Then bam I can hear her crying from the car before they get to my front door in the morning! Thats how loud and feirce she's screaming/crying. Mom leaves and within 5min she all normal again!
I too felt guilty even though nothing happend or changed! I started to tell her at PU's "Have a good night, see you tomorrow morning....and remember no crying!" I didnt give into it, no "awwww's". I'd leave her on the floor in the entrance and continue like every other day by telling to her take off her shoes & coat etc. and ignoring the fact that she was crying. It's stopped!
She was fine today yay!! except for when her dad picked her up instead of mom, she was not happy. Poor guy! She came to the door, saw dad and pouted like a true drama queen. As dad was getting to the car she tried to run away and was throwing herself on the floor crying as if we cut her finger off! I usually don't get involved when they leave the house but dad looked so desperate!! I walked up to her in the car (she wouldn't let him strap her in) and I gave out a big firm "HEY!!! we.do.not.treat.dad.that.way! ! Sit down now, stop crying and be nice". annnnnd she did....dad closed the car door and let out a big sigh, said thanks and left! She's a little brat! lol
Oh and the occasional "stop it" or "if you wake up ******* (my DD) you're going to be in big trouble" worked too! :laugh:
Oh empathy ... I have a sibling set who are occasionally like this at 4 and 6 ...IME it is just manipulative behaviour in an effort to get mom to prolong drop off cause the minute I shoo her out the door the tears turn off and they hop on into program all smiles .... I have implemented a 'you behave like that for your mother at drop off you must be VERY tired therefore your first 20 minutes of the day will be spent RESTING before you are allowed to go play' and it nipped it right in the bud!
Normally I too would look - has anything changed in program - peer arguments, social struggles resulting in consequences he might not like and so forth and if nothing in program I would than ask parent 'any changes at home' cause many things can create anxiety at being left even with a familiar and loved person - overhead an argument with parents, had nightmares, anxiety about talk about starting school and well list is endless?
Sometimes you can never figure out WHY and have to just approach it from 'not desirable behaviour in any event so lets put a strategy in place to stop it'! This is my sibling set - I am done trying to figure out what is going on at 'home' cause it does not MATTER regardless that behaviour of tantrum and throwing a hissy crying fit is just not acceptable so knock it off and use your words!
Little children really pick up on stress at home with their parents. One of my friends was just talking about this last night and it turned out the parents were splitting up and they didn't tell her (the daycare provider) about it. But she could tell that the child was acting differently. So yes, I would talk to the parents and ask if there is anything you should know so you can help the child in your care. It never hurts to ask and offer to help.