Wears the same clothes very often

I realize the family doesn't have a lot of money, and he only has a few choice items of clothing. But this week, 4 days out of five, he wore the same overalls. Also, they've provided me with a car seat that is too big for him. It's for 22 pounds, he's a year old but only 19 1/2 pounds. There are a few other things I notice that I find irresponsible. I am aware that I am not the parent and to each their own, but how do you deal with it? They don't neglect him, they're pretty good parents, I just find them a little irresponsbile sometimes.

Do you say something or do you let it go? How do you deal with is?

Are you driving the child in that car seat? If so I would definitely say something to them, because if you were ever caught with the child in an inappropriate car seat YOU would be the one getting in huge trouble, not them. I would refuse to use that car seat, regardless if they have a lot of money or not, the child's safety in a car is important.

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Originally Posted by samroo326

I realize the family doesn't have a lot of money, and he only has a few choice items of clothing. But this week, 4 days out of five, he wore the same overalls. Also, they've provided me with a car seat that is too big for him. It's for 22 pounds, he's a year old but only 19 1/2 pounds. There are a few other things I notice that I find irresponsible. I am aware that I am not the parent and to each their own, but how do you deal with it? They don't neglect him, they're pretty good parents, I just find them a little irresponsbile sometimes.

Do you say something or do you let it go? How do you deal with is?

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I totally agree that rules are rules when it comes to car seats...but the fact that he's only off the margin by 2 1/2 pounds? I personally would let this slide. And, as long as the clothes are clean...I couldn't care less if it's the exact same outfit each day...especially since we spend the day getting messy;). Just my 2 cents:)

As long as the clothes are clean I wouldn't worry......my children had favorite things they liked to wear when they were younger...and would have worn them all the time...as far as the car seat I am not sure that 2 lbs is a deal breaker.... Weight can fluctuate and scales can defer. When my children were younger we had to switch to front facing because of size not the weight requirement . Use your judgement if the harness doesn't fit him properly etc..... Then say something to them.....

The weight for the car issue to me wouldn't be a big deal. Maybe he has been weighed at the doctor's office or at home and the parents have come up with a different higher weight than what you are weighing him at. Either way I would not be worried about 2.5 pounds. I had moved my kids to forward facing or to a booster seat when they were a pound or two away from the recommended weight and felt fine doing so.
Some parents may not worry about the exact weight.

In regards to the clothes - it wouldn't bother me either (like others have said). I am sure he has more than 1 pair of pants but since no one else is there in the morning when he is getting dressed then you don't know if he is begging his mom to put on those overalls because they are his favorite. Kids go through stages where they like one pair of pants or one shirt the most

As long as the child is happy and healthy, the parents are paying and seem to be involved decent parents then it isn't anything I would ever bring up and nitpick personally. I guess it depends how strongly you feel about it though:)

They just may have a few outfits only for daycare as there daycare stuff tends to get way more dirty! LOL

As for the car seat what other option is there, he maybe too tall for the infant seat? Sometimes hight outrules weight.

As for the overalls - he may have several pairs too. When I found a sale for my son I often bought more than one. With girls you tend to get more colour choices but for boys one pair of jeans looks the same as the next. If they buy their clothes at consignment stores they may have all been hanging together and the mom just grabbed 5 pair saying ok these will be his daycare clothes. Does he wear a different tshirt every day. Depending on the job of the parents they may need to do laundry daily so what he really has is two pair and just keeps alternating them.

As long as they don't smell and yesterday's jam and the day before's spagetti sauce isn't still clinging to them I wouldn't worry.

I don't think that either of those things are a big deal. At all. Just my opinion.

If the clothes are clean, and fit him, it's not a worry to me. I have been a parent with virtually no money to spend on anything but the essentials, so as long as the child is cared for, I have some extra empathy in that regard.
As to the car seat, I wouldn't fret too much. Provided that the carseat generally fits him when it comes to size, of course. Is his head in a safe position? Can the straps be properly tightened around him?
It's true that you would get the ticket (I've been there!!), but doubtful that they are going to weigh the child at the side of the road. So if the seat is properly secured in your vehicle, and he is properly secured IN the seat, you are okay.

I agree with the ladies who feel if the clothes are clean that would suit me fine. And yes, maybe he has a couple identical pairs. I stress to my clients that they had better send their children in clothes that can be destroyed by mud and creative materials on any given day.

I have more trouble with my 4 year old fashion plate girl who wears the prettiest clothes and a different coat/shoes/boots daily so I can't keep track of them. Her Mom's a shopoholic, but still doesn't mind if her prettiest outfit is covered in paint because she has tons of clothes, so it's all fine.

You know what? I carried my children home from the hospital in the 70's and for months after that in my lap, no carseat laws were in effect yet. My little children wore regular seatbelts, as did I. Ask your parents!

The clothes would not bug me in the least.

However I could not let the inappropriate seat slide ~ having taking the carseat installation training to do inspections and installations for others the images of children in 'improper seats' haunts me! The fact that we once had 'no' regulations for seat belts and people survived is just silly ~ once upon a time there were MINIMAL cars on the road cause it was a 'luxury' to own one ~ now not only has our populations soared but not only is it the norm for every household to have ONE car but most have MULTIPLE cars that are now on the road .... we drive more, we travel faster, as a society 95% of us seem to drive distracted and the fact remains that statistically there are just MORE ACCIDENTS that require more safety precautions to help prevent death and injury .... but if we are not going to USE those precautions properly than they are useless!

The weights and heights or ages given are minimum safety standards to take into account when choosing which seat is best for your child. Before changing to a new seat you should be OVER that weight requirements for that seat before moving to it not just 'sneaking up on it' so that if you poop or something your back under it again ~ at his weight of less than 20 pounds he should still be rear facing in a seat that accommodates rear facing .... 22 pounds, over a year old and walking independently are all requirements for forward facing in Canada. I regards to accidents causing injury the rear facing is the safest position to be in and ideally they should be doing so as long as the seat allows so ~ some seats can rear face to 35 or 40 pounds...the longer you can give a child's spine and muscles to develop strength the better. It is better to break a leg because it is bent in the rear seat than snap a neck in an accident and be dead or paralyzed for life!

So if they have switched him to a forward facing seat for an over 22 pound child and he is not meeting all those requirements than yes YOU risk the fine if your pulled over but worse if you are in an accident and he is injured and medical treatment show his weight and size was not appropriate for the seat you had him in your now liable cause they will be doing the assumption that 'had he been in the proper seat he may not have sustained these injury' thing :(

IMO we already take a huge liability risk transporting children in our program because we cannot control other drivers on the road ~ taking a further one by not having them in the correct seat while doing so is just not worth it!

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Originally Posted by Alphaghetti

I don't think that either of those things are a big deal. At all. Just my opinion.

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You're right it may not be a big deal, but it could also be a sign of neglect. He's wearing the same clothes over and over, and I KNOW they're not washing them. They put him a front facing car seat that is too big for him, the straps dont tighten to his body....signs. There are also other signs that make me questions whether or not he is being treated as a baby should. His parents come off as selfish to me and I don't know how they are with him at home. I was actually suspecting neglect at the time that I wrote this, that is basically why I asked. I'm not a snot who thinks kids shouldnt wear the same things over and over, it's the way they come off.

Anyways, not a big deal now. I doubt anyone will even read this bc i wrote it in may lol but Reggio, you're right. And I ended up talking to them about it. That seat was ULTRA unsafe and he shouldnt have been in it! :)

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Originally Posted by Littledragon

....Anyways, not a big deal now. I doubt anyone will even read this bc i wrote it in may lol but Reggio, you're right. And I ended up talking to them about it. That seat was ULTRA unsafe and he shouldnt have been in it! :)

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LMAO ~ damn fell victim to a spammer bumping an old thread ~ did not notice this was from May and likely long resolved issue now ... cia la vie glad to hear that you spoke up and told them not to have him in the carseat ... I really am a anal cow about them I actually had to refuse a dad leaving with his child once because he showed up and he was 'last' that day so I had walked out to the car talking to home and while we were talking and he was putting his child in the car I noticed that the seat had no tether on it and she was 'forward facing' in it now and too big to 'rear face' based on the seat instructions ... he had to leave her here and the mom had to come get her with her car seat cause I could not in good conscious allow them off my property with the seat the way it was.

Had another client just this year who had moved both her children to 'highback boosters' cause they were 40 pounds 40 inches (barely) but she wanted them in the easier seat ~ however the one day at pick up I was helping her in cause they were last and noticed the neither of the kids seat belts 'locked' in place which is a requirement for a high back ~ the shoulder belt has to be able to be pulled tight and LOCK so the child cannot move or turn in the seat otherwise they can loosen the belt and fly out of it ... now that mom I let 'leave' cause she lives around the block but I told her to go and get a metal locking clip from Canadian Tire ~ cost like $5 max to lock the belts in place once they are in easy safe fix ~ she shows up the next day with a brand new car with belts that lock cause apparently she went home and told her spouse her car was not safe for the kids and neglected to share the $5 fix option :rolleyes:

However seat belts and car seats only WORK if they are installed and used properly as per the manufacturers instructions ~ used improperly they can cause injury :(

Most adults do not properly wear their belts either sadly!

I hear you reggio! I blow my mind the amount of people who don't take the proper precautions when dealing with THEIR KIDS LIVES. Do they not realize that this a life or death thing? My son was rear facing till he was a year old AND over 22 pounds and we bought a car seat where the bottom buckle comes up to his waist and the chest buckle is SNUG against his chest - ALWAYS. There's a little crank you can turn to tighten the belt. I picked up my cousin at the airport and she put her son in the seat and I told her to crank it to tighten it and she was like - oh, it's good enough. NO!!! I tightened it TIGHT. My sister in law used to only buckle the chest one, and leave the bottom one. She was like - we're only going 2 km. WHAT?! I couldn't believe it! And then, this little boy. I HAD to put him front facing because I HAD to use the shoulder belt because his buckles were too lose. I used his buckles AND the seat belt and locked it. But still, he would be leaning over when I got there. My son can't even move an inch side to side in his seat. After that, i told them they were going to have to provide a new seat. One of our "agreements" for taking this little one early (before I offically opened my daycare) was that i be able to carry one with daily life, and that meant mommy and me, swimming, library and so on. They huffed and puffed but eventually agreed. I felt for them because I know they didn't have a lot of money, but their kid needed to be safe! There's so if and or buts about it. I don't understand how people can risk their children's well-being bc of money and/or convenience. I just don't understand it.

Maybe I dont deal with it correctly, but I believe in subtle hints. (my mom says I do too much) if I notice a child only has a few pair of pants and parents arent providing as well as they should, I go to the second hand store and pik some up for them. some kids come dressed inappropriately for the weather, so i dig into my extras and dress them well, do get those back at end of day though. i have come to realize that some people are just dif from me. doesnt change how i feel though, although you should allow some leeway for these "different" people, I do think if it bothers you or is effecting the child in any way. Do something subtle. I have had a mommy not bathe her child enough, (she was a stinker of a kid) gave hermom a hard time after work, instead of giving her child pos attn and proper care, she was tired and didnt want to deal so put her to bed with out bath. I would bathe her SOMETOMES, she would tell me her bottom hurt, I couldnt let her go all day with sore butt.....but I would tell her mom at pik up too. the mother appoligized and said, "had a tough night last night. happened alot!!!!!
I think its a sign of "LAZY PARENTING" although they love their kids alot, they just dont seem to care as much as most. drives me crazy.

I don't think that someone using a seat intended for a child 2 lbs heavier is "risking their child's life". I think recent changes in carseat laws are excessive and extreme. Again, just my .02.

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Originally Posted by Alphaghetti

I don't think that someone using a seat intended for a child 2 lbs heavier is "risking their child's life". I think recent changes in carseat laws are excessive and extreme. Again, just my .02.

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I agree. It wasn't the weight, it was the way the child seat fit. This little boy was 18 or 19 pounds at the time but he's SUPER tall. He;'s REALLY skinny and his harnesses didn't tighten to fit him. It's not a car seat you can use from 5-30 pounds or whatever, it's a car seat where you have to be 22 pounds to start, so his harnesses didn't fit. When I drive, within minutes, he would slumped to the side. I don't think you should be able to move in a car seat. It just worried me. If i got into a car accident, he definitely would not have been safe.

I'm a carseat snob here, and I rear face my own AND my daycare kids until they are at LEAST 2 yrs old. And to avoid the issue of carseats I invested in a few of my own so I can have control over this issue. Glad you spoke to them about it!