Some parents boggle my mind

I had a parent walk in this morning and tell me they started toilet training this morning!!!!! A Tuesday Morning???? Not the beginning of the long weekend but this morning .....so I begin to ask all the questions I already know the answers to....
Me : Does he know when he has to go ?
Parent: Umm no not really .
Me: Ok so does he like to sit on the potty or toilet ?
Parent: Oh no not really he just cries but try to give him a car that might work !
Me: Does he show an interest at all?
Parent: not really
Me: he has a diaper on right?
Parent: oh yes just take it off to put him on the potty several times a day
Me : righto


Seriously????? he is no where ready to start toilet training and here is not the place to start... He's a few weeks shy of 2.5 yrs but at the maturity level of about an 18 month old and he only says about 15 words. I guess she thinks I am going to do it for her and that's why she started today and not on sat.

I will have to have a little chat at pick up and say nope not ready try in the sumner when you have him home for two weeks.

Really? I recently revised my policy for this reason I stated that potty training must be happening at home for two weeks prior to going on here, as well, I have also stated thast I will not work with kids who do not have the words to tell me that they need to go. I will only work with them if they are 2 and over.

Parents ftw LOL

I refuse to train myself to watch the clock and put them on the potty. If I think about it I will do it, and I will do it after meals/before nap etc but I certainly won't be running to the potty every 15 minutes just in case...they MUST wear diapers and pull ups here until they use words to tell me they need to go BEFORE they go..and this must happen consistently for an entire MONTH before I will allow underwear.

I have one who does it always at home with no accidents but has NEVER, not once asked to do it here and so she must continue to wear pull ups until she does...I don't have time to be cleaning up soiled underwear and urine/feces from my floors.

I find many parents want us to do the training and expect that it will just happen...if they are ready they will TELL YOU that they need to go, they won't need you telling them they need to go. Both my own children (one boy and one girl) all trained within 3 days because they were aware, ready and told me they needed to go. Never had an accident, never wet the bed. Were both day and night trained in those 3 days (which was a long weekend). My daughter was 2.5 and my son was a month shy of his 3rd birthday.

Oh wow! I think I'm about be in the spot you're in. I have one too that just shy of 2, mom says she wants him trained this summer. My response is always the same, he'll do it when he's ready. Let's not rush him. But now I'm thinking that I need to have a "are you ready to potty train" sheet that I send home. Outlineing some basics. Kind of a "congratulations ! your ready for pull ups" or something like that. Kind of my way of saying right from the start, don't send him without pull ups until I say! start on a weekend or week off when you can spend time. Theyr'e not ready until... etc etc.

Parents (including me when my little one was young) get so concerned that they won't train in time for school. UGH!

Well this one is Not ready and if they want me to force him then we are going to have a little guy that comes in my door every morning with a big smile on his face turn into a little guy that will hate coming to daycare cause when he sees me he will think "potty" I think I will change my contract too ... To say parents must start first and when they start seeing success then I will start here

I start with afternoon naptime. IF they are over 2 - ie sleeping on the mats like a big kid and wake up dry then I put them on the potty (insert on toilet) and give them a book. There is a good chance of catching a pee this way. The purpose is for the child to see and feel what is expected of them.

Once that is established we move on to other transitions when I would normally be doing diaper changes/potty anyways. I only have time for kids that can hold it 1 1/2 - 2 hours at a time to be potty training. No piddling allowed. We are too busy playing for that.

I used to have a potty training form I gave to parents that made them answer questions like What signs indicate your child needs to go potty? What words does your child use to ask to be taken potty? What time of day is your child most likely to have success? What names do you use at home for urine, bowel movements/

What this did is made parents realize they had to do the work at home to be able to answer the questions and if they couldn't they needed to keep the form handy till they could.

I am similar to Playfelt ... I want kids to be trained ASAP too cause kids without diapers are so much easier however I do not want to be TIED to the toilet all day long - we go out and about and for kids to be in 'underwear' they need to have bladder control of at least 2 hours.

I start changing kids who are 18 months IN the bathroom instead of in the playroom which I do with wee ones cause it is easier - so they are in the bathroom seeing what the trained kids are doing cause we do not do 'privacy' at this age everyone is coming and going trying to get ready for outside time or nap time and so forth. So between 18-24 months I 'offer' them a chance to sit in the potty at these times - if they are not interested I just say 'ok maybe when your feeling bigger'. At 24 months I change my wording to 'its time to try' the potty at all transition times and encourage but again do not 'force' them to sit - most children at this age WILL sit willing though because it is not new and they have seen the 'big kids' going and well they want to be big and for 6 months I have been saying 'no program maybe when your bigger' and well now they know they are bigger and want people to see them as bigger - might as well use peer pressure to our advantage.

When they start showing success in PROGRAM where they are dry for 2 hours, peeing on the potty and having occasion poops on it and they are doing this at HOME as well than we discuss making the transition to underwear and a containment unit at daycare ... often in my experience kids are trained HERE way before they are trained at home it is usually ME ready for underwear ... I have only had 2 boys in care who were 'late trainers' where the parents were pushing for underwear and the kids were no where near ready - all my other kids were trained by 2 1/2 years of age and it is AWESOME ... I hate changing 3 year old POOPS :(

Reggio, what would you do with a 2 1/2 year old who is fully trained and in underwear at home (has been for months), but refuses to go at daycare? I ahve tried everything and this little guy won't even try and gets very upset if I try to push at all. Incentives haven't worked either. Would you just wait it out?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kangaroomama

... Would you just wait it out?

---

Yup - I do not push I do not want CAS being called on me cause they hear kids screaming from my bathroom windows, do not want to deal with an accident falling off toilet or what not .... if a child will not willing sit on the potty you cannot FORCE them ... IMO parents need to work with you to find some way to motivate him to pee in program as well as at home since he obviously has the 'ability' and is just choosing NOT to for you and I would not agree to anything that REWARDS him personally cause I do not think children should be 'bribed' to do something that is an 'expected human behaviour' so I would approach it from the this is an 'expected behaviour' and if you do not do it than XYZ will happen and have it be a natural consequence of his choice not to use the bathroom .... aka his new toys and entertainment budget will be rerouted to keep paying for diapers in your program and he LOOSES out on these things at home, children who are in diapers are not allowed to engage in 'water play' with the rest of the group cause it is not sanitary and so forth so they have to play in water by themselves .... those should all be natural consequences and motivators for a child that age?

Yup ... I agree with you Reggio... I hate changing a three yr old and I have one turning 3 in 7 weeks and they haven't even attempted it yet ... Yuck ... And this child is a big three not a little one .... But this child that the post is about is not ready ....I talked to mom at pickup and told her she needs to prepare him and get his started at home cause he doesn't want to sit on the potty and he went hysterical when I put him on and he cried for ten minutes. While it's fine for them to force him to sit on the potty Its not fine for me cause very quickly he will not want to come here. Right now he comes in happily but that will all change if I force hi
.... So I told mom to spend the next little while preparing him and then go full on when I go for holidays so he will have two full weeks of consistency. So she was good with that and hopefully all my two yr olds will be trained when I get back from holidays ; )

Crayola, this parent might as well have walked into your house this morning and said 'Oh by the way, I now expect YOU to toilet train my child as quickly as possible and I'm not helping.'

I don't think so!!!

Ya that was kinda the gist of it but they are also very young parents and I don't think they really have any idea of what to do. She said she is a bit nervous of getting this done so I gave her a few tips and some pointers of getting him started. So I'm confident she'll be able to do it this summer.

I'm glad they are willing to listen to your advice, that shows lots of promise! Hey, I was a Mom at age 19 and I was so naive and stupid, so I can relate to being a young parent who relies on good advice. They are lucky to have you and it's always great when you work together as a team - that's my motto.

Ya mom of 4 I was a young parent too ... I had my first at 23 so ive been there too.... And they are very nice people and good parents and the little boy is very sweet .... He's just not ready to go potty yet ; )

I am glad that you told her openly and honestly what you were thinking.
I currently have a 2 1/2 year old that is "potty training". He has success on the potty (will pee and has pooped too), but NOT ONCE has he been the one to initiate it. When asked if he has to go, it's always "No." But if I take him, he will go almost without fail.
At first mom and dad wanted me to take him about every hour. I tried it, since he was the only one I had in care other than my own kids. But I found that if I didn't catch him with the right timing, he would pee a little in the pull up, and then pee a little in the potty. Essentially he was peeing small amounts every half hour or so. That can't be good??
So I am asking him, and taking him less often. I feel like I want to say something to mom and dad, but is it overstepping? How do I offer my "helpful advice", LoL?

You could say something like ..... If I just take him and put him on he goes but he never announces that he has to go does he announce at home? Then laugh and say cause this is not a trained child this is a trained adult....ask them if they use underwear at home so he knows what it feels like to pee his pants .... Usually kids don't put two and two together till they pee themselves cause with pull ups it's really the same as a diaper. Suggest to them when they/you go on holidays they go hard core with him ... Underpants only except for sleeping. Some kids are only too happy to wear a diaper, and some parents are only too happy to leave their kids in diapers ... Cause let's face it when the kids announces they have to pee we have to listen.