Early in the game to be pushy...no?

I had an interview on Tuesday and it went very well! Happy baby who will be 12mos at start of care. I'm not sure if these are RED flags or pink-ishy one that I can 'help' avoid...

A) they emailed me asking for a interview 3 times in one day + 1 phone call
B) could only be available for a 3:30 meeting (dcg was being pu'd early) so I agreed - while here mom mentioned "oh I was hoping to see all the kids in action". To which I said if dck's were here I would not agree to the interview, I'm sure you wouldn't want strangers coming by your daughter during the day...*smile*
C) emailed me today saying that they would love their child to be with me but....have a concern re: the # of kids I have in care, not that I have an issue now but would like it for me to keep it that way (so not taking in any others). They would like me to follow the Licensed rules...no more than 5 including my own, 3 under 3yrs and 2 under 2yrs etc.

Right now I have:
dcg 3yrs - 3 days a week (mom is prego, due in Nov. and don't know what's going on with that yet :no:)
dcb 2.75yrs - comes 1 day a week (dad's company is slow)
my own DD 2yrs
in two weeks - dcg 8mos old FT
then there would be their child at 12mos FT

Am I sensing warning signs
or
have I read too many horror stories and now have my guard WAY up...it is something to even worry about?

How can I say "I can't see the future but for right NOW that is all I am taking in (I wont do more, two 'babies' are enough!) and when/if we come to that bridge we can discuss then"

It would be a red flag for me! I wouldn't promise anything. When I first started I told parent's I would only have one young one too and as time passed I felt I could handle more. I now have five between the ages 13 months and 24 months and I don't find it very difficult at all. All of my parents prefer that they are all around the same age. They need to trust that you know what you can handle and I would say that you can't promise that you may have 3 one year olds at some point.

I wouldnt make any promises either. We are already really limited in regards to the ages we can take due to the full day kindergarten, and what if you only have people with young children interested in your daycare? Since I've been open, I have only had people with children that are 12 months old interested in my daycare. If I didn't take these people I would be empty.
Just tell them you respect their concerns but you only add children to your care that you feel are a fit and that you feel you can watch safely. If they can't understand or agree to that, then they may not be the right fit for you.

I would say that those questions are normal, there are always concerns about how many kids are in our care. However, I would consider the way she's asking is a red flag. The details of your business are none of her business. I would be honest with her, these are the ages that I have right now, my goal is to have this many kids in care. I find that if we are completely honest with them upfront then they have no reason to be upset later on. And if she doesn't want her child in care with 4 other kids, then that will probably be reason for her to refuse care with you.

I origionally started this telling my first clients that I would only take 1 under 2 at a time. And here I am with 2 at 14 months and 1 at 22 months and I'm doing fine. I actually really like the mix.

I would completely see this as a red flag. Too demanding right from the beginning.

I think they are normal questions too but, I agree with apples, it's the way she is asking.
I would upfront and honest with her too.
If you see red flags ~ I always say listen to them!! Regardless of if her questions are normal or not. You saw her body language and tone that she is using. Go with you gut as it can't steer you wrong.

Normal questions yes and actual normal requests too but they need to be reminded who is in chage - they are not hiring a nanny and have no control over the environment. We take what every is available to us and more and more with full day school that means lots of young ones. IF they want licensed care rules then they need to go to licensed care and pay the appropriate rates. They can't have it both ways.

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Originally Posted by playfelt

Normal questions yes and actual normal requests too but they need to be reminded who is in charge - they are not hiring a nanny and have no control over the environment. We take what every is available to us and more and more with full day school that means lots of young ones. IF they want licensed care rules then they need to go to licensed care and pay the appropriate rates. They can't have it both ways.

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Exactly this!

IMO, I would not take them on. Too many red flags for me. They don't get to tell you who and how many are allowed in your care - it's YOUR home daycare, not theirs!

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Originally Posted by playfelt

Normal questions yes and actual normal requests too but they need to be reminded who is in chage - they are not hiring a nanny and have no control over the environment. We take what every is available to us and more and more with full day school that means lots of young ones. IF they want licensed care rules then they need to go to licensed care and pay the appropriate rates. They can't have it both ways.

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Perfectly stated and I agree 100%.

You can tell her you appreciate her concerns but this is the way it is at YOUR daycare.

Yup - I agree with Playfelt - unless your business plan is to follow 'licensed age restrictions' than I would thank them for their interest but they are NOT a match!

I personally choose to have no more than 2 under two years of age HOWEVER I do not advertize that publicly and I tell people in interviews that this is my CURRENT GOAL however if my financial situation changed and I HAD to ensure I was full and the only way I could do it was to take on more infants or QUIT daycare I would consider to take an additional under two cause MY BUSINESS - MY CHOICE and depending on how 'under two' they were they do grow independent quite quickly in care ;)

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Originally Posted by Inspired by Reggio

this is my CURRENT GOAL however if my financial situation changed and I HAD to ensure I was full and the only way I could do it was to take on more infants or QUIT daycare I would consider to take an additional under two cause MY BUSINESS - MY CHOICE and depending on how 'under two' they were they do grow independent quite quickly in care ;)

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I agree with this 100% This is what I'm going to tell them, if they like my answer great....if not then good luck!

I'm not looking to add anymore anyways but I do not know what the future holds - sh!t happens....and if all I was getting were requests for little ones than so be it.

Yup, I'm in complete agreeance.
I would let her know that while I respect her voicing her "concerns", I cannot make any promises as to what/how many/which ages of children I am taking in. I reassure her that I would not at any point take in any kids that I didn't know for sure I would be able to handle to the best of my professional abilities.
I don't know that I would turn them away at this point, but I would certainly be on the lookout for any other "signs" that this relationship isn't going to work.

How'd it go talking to Mom? I'm always interested in the updates :)

It went well! dcg starts in August! :thumbsup:

My email to them:
Dear ****** & ****,
re: the question(s) you had - you were right in thinking that I am very in line with your thoughts on this :-) I appreciate your concerns, I want to reassure you that I only add children to my care that I feel are a fit and that I feel I can watch safely. This is my current goal, not to add anyone else, however if my financial situation changed and the only way I could make-do was to take on one more infant, I would consider to take an additional 'under two' in that case BUT I think we can cross that bridge when/if we get to it (hopefully not). I hope to hear from you soon.
xoxo
Mamma_Mia

Reply:
" This is mom (I am emailing from my work address). Thank you for getting back to us on this. We are happy to hear your response. It makes us feel re-assured that *** would be in great hands. Dad and I are happy to have found you. What happens next? :) "

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Originally Posted by Inspired by Reggio

Yup - I agree with Playfelt - unless your business plan is to follow 'licensed age restrictions' than I would thank them for their interest but they are NOT a match!

I personally choose to have no more than 2 under two years of age HOWEVER I do not advertize that publicly and I tell people in interviews that this is my CURRENT GOAL however if my financial situation changed and I HAD to ensure I was full and the only way I could do it was to take on more infants or QUIT daycare I would consider to take an additional under two cause MY BUSINESS - MY CHOICE and depending on how 'under two' they were they do grow independent quite quickly in care ;)

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BTW your wording ROCKS! Thanks for that hun :)

Oh glad they were open to that - besides by the time something like that arises THEIR KID will likely not be an infant anymore and they wont care anymore ;)

Very nice!!! Yay to new clients!!!

Well unless you are with an agency, you don't have to follow the 2 under 2, 3 under 3 and no more than 5 including your own. Private home daycares can have 5 -12 mth olds plus your own if you choose. I am glad it worked out for you though. Hopefully they are golden clients.

I haven't read anyone elses's responses yet because just hearing what you wrote totally made me think RED FLAG. She wants to be in control. Which is totally OK. She's just looking for what's best for her child, which is something any mom would do. I would do it. I would ask all these questions and more, and that's why my child isn't in a daycare. I'm too controlling. Sounds like mom has some legitimate concers, and legitimate suggestions, but I would be very CAUTIOUS with her. I had a mom suggest the way I run TV watching in my daycare and I knew right away that she would be constantly giving me "suggestions" that would drive me nuts. I run my daycare the way I want, and if they don't like it, they can find care that matches their wishes more directly. This mom sounds like she may be one of those moms who may try to control the situation and have the upper hand at all times. IMO I would tread carefully with this mom. Things could get stressful, fast.

Also, it sounds like she's sort of making suggestions of things that should already be established in your policies or ideas (how many kids you'll be taking in, whether or not you'll be following regulations...) If these are things you've already decided on and it doesn't match the "suggestions" she's given, maybe it's not a good fit.

I have learned TIME and TIME AGAIN. "Go with your Gut", if anything about a parent makes you feel uncomfortable or uneasy...DONT DO IT! I have almost always regretted ignoring the early signs because if the parent seems strange or controlling in the beginning, it ussly gets worse. :)