Anti-Oppressive Policy

I'm looking for some opinions on a new policy I want to have in place. I am all about equal opportunities and introducing children to diversity. As a mother I raise my children in a very anti-oppressive way. While I am a very opinionated person, I find myself to be very open-minded and encourage my own children to be accepting of people without oppression. I would like to make this the basis of my daycare by introducing a lot more anti-oppression based themes, learning equipment and toys. I know some of these things will be welcomed when it comes to race and religion but wanted to not omit things like sexuality if I am going to do this 100%. I have wanted to do this before but obviously its a concern that some parents will not be comfortable with it. I however want to be true to myself in the way that I run my daycare while trying to respect a parents choice on what they teach their children. When someone says the word sexuality surrounding early education it can be recieved badly. For example, I only mean to teach children from such a young age that it is as normal to have 1 mum and dad as it is to have 2 dads, 2 mums or any other alternative. The earlier children are taught these things the more accepting they are of people from all different walks of life and IMO thats how we, as caregivers, will raise a better next generation of adults. I could exhaust the list of things included in an anti-oppresive policy and learning outline, but I simply want to teach the daycare children to genuinely view everyone equally from a young age.

I welcome feedback, ideas, suggestions and opinions on this subject. Thanks

Some lessons like that are best not taught until the child is ready to experience it. At the same time they are only coming to grips with the fact they have a mom and dad and other kids have a mom and dad and you have to be careful. Every child has a mom and dad somewhere if you want to get into the whole biology thing. Just because two men or two women live together does not make them the same no matter what certain people think so no matter what you teach you will be stepping on toes best left untrodden.

What you want to do is make things open in the sense of if two children are playing and want to both be mommies and have a doll baby then you say nothing. Whereas in times past they would have been immediately corrected and one of them told to be the daddy.

Your job is to have toys and teaching aids available, to be accepting and to show the children how to be accepting but you have to take into consideration their ages and developmental level. Have multicultural dolls, toys, music available. Serve a variety of ethnic foods.

I have the opinion that to be accepting of the world a child first needs to come to terms with their own existence. Then they branch out and learn about the world around them but start with what is in their realm of understanding. People live in different kinds of houses - apartments, condos, houseboats, trailers. People eat different foods. People dress differently. etc. What you are doing is from a young age teaching children that while people are different they do things the same - live, eat, dress, play. That is the lesson you teach to toddlers/preschool.

If you are going to do this 100% you MUST make that clear in your ads, contract, discussions with parents because you will likely only be able to attract families that are living in diverse situations. Other parents will want to reserve the right to teach their children their own belief systems in their own way and time.

Generally speaking I only deal with an issue like this if it presents itself in daycare such as a divorce situation where a child's daddy isn't able to do any pick up or drop off because he lives in a different city.

I am definitely not going to rush in to this and I am going to be very careful about how I go about this as I do not wish to cause offence to anyone. I have sought out professional qualified professionals for information which would be appropriate to the age of children I care for. Also I have been exposed to varying opinions about this so I am aware of different obstacles and areas that I need to tread carefully. This kind of learning would come more in to play at age 2-3. For example I have a boy 4 next mth and he has on numerous occasions made comments which I try to talk to him about. He thinks that pink is only for girls and blue is only for girls. He also thinks that boys can not play dress up as princess' and that the girls can not wear construction worker hats or play with the tool bench. He has also made comments about how girls are not strong and need a boy or man to do things for them. I feel obliged to educate this child on equality in all areas regardless of gender. So this is really what I'm talking about when I want to teach anti-oppression. I want to have dolls of different ethnicity, disabled dolls, and books which show parents of different races and orientations. What is normal to a child is what they are taught and once they have something stuck in their heads as being the way of things, it can be very difficult to change that as it becomes a core belief. I also think while our purpose as daycare providers is to love and care for children making sure they are safe and learn through play. I do feel that there are many different ways to do this suiting different people across the board. The comment you made about "Some lessons like that are best not taught until the child is ready to experience it." How do we truly know when they are ready to experience them. Its not an easy thing to decide and is never the same for everyone. It is however the parents ultimate decision to make with a doubt. I do however know that children introduced to diversity from a young age are more accepting of it as its all they have ever known.

I would definitly make this something spoken about from the start when it came to interviews and my child care philosophy on my website would reflect this mission statement of anti-oppression. I also wouldn't ram it down peoples throats or push it in the kids faces in an unappropriate manner. It would be with different toys and in stories and always with constant communication with parents and consideration of their feelings on the subject. I above all want to keep my daycare environment a positive place for children and their families :) Great points playfelt thank you.

typo correction...ooops sorry

"It is however the parents ultimate decision to make with a doubt." It is supposed to say without a doubt.

You might try talking to the parents of the 4 year old boy because that is where his views will be coming from. There is a difference at 4-6 when children are comfortable with themselves and ready to venture out into the world and the more restrained confined world of 1-3 when they are very egocentric. Frankly they don't care about some of those things and if you watch them play are quite diverse in how they play.

For the 4 year old just use comments like if he says pink is for girls. Just say pink is a colour and so is yellow and you can wear whatever colour you want.Then leave it at that. When you are playing pretend you can be anything you want to be even a dragon or statue or something that shows the absurdity of what he is saying. Those kinds of statements will go a long ways to teaching what it is you want to teach without being preachy which is what you are going to have to be very careful about or you will rub even open-minded people the wrong way. I like to think of myself as very accepting and open but at the same time would not allow anyone else to "teach" my children values that I had not approved of. I have had issues over the years with what was taught in schools.

I don't think they have to know about religion, race, sex etc. when they are this small. As playfelt said if the kid is saying pink is for girls then you can say pink is a colour and so is yellow and you can wear whatever colour you want. So what if he said pink is for girls? He probably doesn't even know what it meant. I've looked after both genders boys and girls and girls also says that pink is a girly colour and boys can not be princess but prince. Unless they say something like "I'm better then you cause I'm white" etc. then I would have no problem with it.

And also we as day care providers should know our place. We are not their mother and apart from disciplining them we have no right to raise them how we think is right.

I would like my daycare to leave those "teaching" to me and just focus that my kids are safe, fed, happy and thought manners etc.

"I like to think of myself as very accepting and open but at the same time would not allow anyone else to "teach" my children values that I had not approved of."

Totally agree with above.

I think your intentions are excellent and well -meaning but that the age group may just not be right for it like others have said.

I think it is great that you will bring these values to your own children but I would tread lightly with other people's children.

Primarily parents wants their children to be safe, fed, nurtured and to give them a good self esteem or start in life. I am not sure it is our place to really instill much besides manners, esteem, courtesy and curiousity into the children we look after.

I once told a parent in an interview that we learn about safety like learning about strangers and they got upset and didn't like it. Obviously they didn't sign with me but it was a good lesson when I started that parents don't really want you teaching values to kids that they would/should be doing at home. And that was just about stranger danger which in theory is an excellent lesson.

some of the kids 2-3 are confused about their own families and why dad lives somewhere else than mom and why they have certain days where they are picked up by another parent etc. that is enough for them to deal with compared to learning about how other kids might live and what family structure they might have. I think that sort of learning is best suited for age 6-8 when they are doing social studies at school and can understand these concepts.

I think it is great if you want to have multicultural dolls or handicapped dolls or read books about kids around the world etc. If one of my daycare kids says something like 'this girl dresses like a boy" or that someone is colouring with pink even though they are a boy or something similar than I tell them that everyone likes different things and that it is okay to like different things. That is about as much as I expect them to understand.

I think that you can accomplish some of what you want by just nipping any close-minded comments in the bud by replying with a more open-minded comment and by teaching about other kids in the world. I wouldn't even
touch religion. That has red danger flags all over it:p:)

Oh and I should add that I don't make a big deal about race either. I put toys or different ethnicities into play and never say - "look this one is black and this one is white" etc. I just refer to any different toys as a positive and talk about how they are the SAME. Look, they both are wearing a skirt and they both have pretty hair." etc. I never point out differences but instead try to teach kids that it is standard practice to accept these toys and that they are the same as them with two eyes, a nose, etc.....

First of all, I think it's great that you want to address this issue and try to help shape the future generation to be a little more inclusive and open-minded :) I think "Anti-prejudice" policy would be a better wording as oppression isn't quite the word you are intending I don't think. I actually have on my website an anti-prejudice policy because I do not want any families to sign up with me if they have prejudices against race, culture, religion, sexuality, etc. I totally agree with teaching the kids that it is totally okay to pretend to be a princess if you are a boy, or a constructin worker if you are a girl...these are things they grasp through play. I also think having stories about all kinds of families is great...kids learn by seeing things and through exposure that it is normal. I don't think though, that I would sit down and have a lesson on any of these things at the preschool level. You are opening a whole can of worms with that one! I also wouldn't teach about religion unless it came up (etc. Ali doesn't eat pork because he is Muslim) and then I would keep it really simple as they are too young to grasp it all. Plus you don't want them to be confused if they have a religion and are being taught one way and then you tell them about Buddhism for example and the start thinking they will be reincarnated instead of going to heaven or vice versa...parents may get upset. I think what it most important is to teach them to be accepting and to see the similarities (ex. Sally goes to church on Sunday because she is Christian and Asha goes to the mosque on Friday because she is Muslim). Even these statements are more for 3+ kids who can understand what you are saying. So, I highly recommend putting a policy in place against discrimination of any kind (make a list so it is clear) and have parents read that before starting with you. That way you will not have parents who will get mad at you for exposing their kids to things they don't agree with.

Very valid points folks. Thanks. Definitely food for thought. I'm getting a lot from the things being said. While I don't agree with them all, I know it is very important for me to try to seperate my personal parenting way of approaching child rearing from being a daycare provider. I don't have religion included although I would love to as it can be fun learning but I know some parents wouldn't be happy with it. Just seems such a shame not to. Something I'm obviously going to have to work on and deal with if it means keeping my business going well. I'm sure people can understand the inner conflict though when it's not really your way of thinking. Works both ways really and I understand that not everyone has the same belief systems and these are not my children.

Sorry for going on, just thinking(typing) out loud to wrap my head around things. Thanks again for giving me different angles to look at this from :D

I definitely believe in teaching children diversity and helping to 'eliminate' stereo types and so forth ... it is definitely a fine balance when doing it with OTHER peoples children for sure!

I make sure when choosing materials for in my program that the images, books, music and so forth represent the diverse backgrounds of Canada as well as are reflective of my own group ... IMO this helps children to ask questions and learn in a way appropriate to their age and observations about their world - I do not plan 'themes' around these things though but rather just ensure that we are 'diverse' in our thinking and accepting of different observations and thoughts .... if the children were discussing something consistently and seemed really interested in learning more than we might explore getting more books and resources to learn about that topic and I would let clients know that this was a topic of interest of the crew and did they have any 'resources' to add to the kids learning ... this allows me to ensure that I am approaching any learning from a diverseness of my current group.

So if Sally firmly believes that Boys cannot wear pink because someone she loves and trusts has told her that - she is entitled to that OPINION because it is not my place to tell her that I think her loved one is WRONG and I do not want to damage her bond of trust with her parent or loved one however she IS taught to accept that Jane thinks differently and her brother loves pink that is OK too because while 'some people think boys should not wear pink there are those who do not agree and really it is a personal choice and what makes our world so special' ;)

I am more about the teachable moments of diversity and open mindedness with children while balancing the needs of the group at the same time ... I agree it would be hard for me to provide service to someone who was 'anti' anything and I hope that my policies and mission statement make it clear that my intent is to help raise open minded creative empathetic children despite not coming right out and having a policy on 'diversity'.

hope that makes sense :)

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Originally Posted by Inspired by Reggio

I definitely believe in teaching children diversity and helping to 'eliminate' stereo types and so forth ... it is definitely a fine balance when doing it with OTHER peoples children for sure! ...

hope that makes sense :)

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It makes complete sense, thank you

I have a good range of colours and a very diverse daycare group so it makes me happy that my children are learning that colour doesn't matter. I also teach the children that boys can play with dolls and girls can play with cars and the parking garage, etc. I teach empathy for other human beings and animals and all living things. It seems to me that you want to teach EMPATHY. I applaud you and this is something you teach day by day be example. I teach the children not to judge other people or to think badly of others. I teach the children to be honest and open with their thoughts so we can discuss any questions they may have and I can alleviate their concerns.

I started an intergenerational program with a senior's residence around the corner from me to teach my little ones about being comfortable around elderly people. There are all kinds of things you can do. If we meet somebody on the street in a wheel chair and they are smiling at the children I stop and talk to them for a bit so the children can meet them and see that they aren't scary. We have stopped to talk to an officer beside his police car, road workers, the parcel delivery guy, the mail carrier. Anyway, you get my drift. Kudos to you for running the same kind of program I'm running, ha!

Exactly Momof4 ~ well said .... it is about those teachable moments everyday that have more meaning for children in learning empathy, understanding and acceptance of varied points of views and beliefs be they religion, race, gender identification, etc and it retains far more learning for children when it comes up naturally in their world at THEIR timeline and initiation verses trying to 'teach' it through a theme or story time or what not when we 'think they need to learn it' .... getting kids out and about and active in their communities is KEY in my opinion to teaching all of these things ~ our communities are full of teachable moments!

There is a Sesame Street book I have - not sure of the exact title but is something about Everyone is the same everyone is different. The gist of the story is that we all have eyes but they are different (colour, shape). We all have hair but it is different (colour, style, how it is worn)... The idea is to teach the children that while we all have a lot in common there are some things that are unique about others. We would do well to teach children the concept that these things are not wrong just different and that is a lesson they can take into the "real" world with them but for now it is something they can identify with. And it is lessons that fit easily into the lessons we are already doing.

For now focusing on a multicultural, one world, one voice, one hope sort of thing.

What child in early education sees anything but through colorblind eyes?

Dealing with the subject of sexuality should only be taught by the parent’s in my book but there is nothing wrong with a boy playing with dolls or a girl playing with cars.

I had a little boy once who wanted to dress up as a princess and I didn't allow it, as I didn't want to offend his parents or make them think I encouraged it? It's so weird what is considered socially acceptable.

Letting children see that nothing divides any of us and that we are all equally amazing is so important in early life.

One of my day care babies Mom told me that she is not a hugger or very expressive through touch. I hug her little one all the time as I do all my kids and I make them hug to say sorry as well. Her little one hugs her to say hi, I mean bear hug & I can see she loves it!

I wish I lived in amore metropolitan area to be able to teach more diversity one on one. We do have an old age home up the street for deaf people and its time we paid them a nice visit! Great idea!

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Originally Posted by Skysue

...I had a little boy once who wanted to dress up as a princess and I didn't allow it, as I didn't want to offend his parents or make them think I encouraged it? It's so weird what is considered socially acceptable....

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There are cultures all over the world where men wear 'dresses / kilts / etc' so yes boys DO and can wear dresses .... for children wearing a princess dress is not about gender but about feeling magical in the fabric that generally feels awesome on the skin - fabric that manufacturers generally only made available in gender stereo typed FEMALE options so boys are robbed of that sensation by our lack of foresight about child development - it is that silky flowing feeling that boys often think feels like a magic cape that can make them fly they are not wearing that and dreaming of growing up and being a cross dresser and so forth and well even if they WERE so what they are just CLOTHES they do not define the strength and conviction of the HUMAN inside them ;)

My daycare boys wear the princess dress all the time and I do not discourage it and if I have a client who is uncomfortable with it I remind them that the program they signed on for is emergent and follows the child's lead and interests - as long as what they are doing is safe and does not put them or others in harms way I do not STOP play and this is part of his play - I also explain that developmentally it is not about gender identity or sexuality at 3 years old it is about imagination and feeling magical and more often than not they are not pretending to be 'female' at all and even if they DO take their play in that direction what an awesome way for a boy to explore gender roles as he sees them through his eyes and develop empathy for his mothers and sisters and learn to be a better man, husband and father some day by having walked in their shoes as a child in his play ;)

It is natural for human beings - specially children - to categorize their world to make sense of it ... children with budding language do things like anything with 4 legs is called whatever the first animal they are exposed to and this goes on for the longest time where everything of that characteristic is a 'dog' or whatever until they learn to create more 'categories' of understanding. Therefore children make 'categorizations' including things like 'boys only where blue and play with toys and trucks' and 'girls only wear pink and play with princesses and cook in kitchen sets' and other gender stereotypes in our society because this is what they are exposed to in media, how business 'target' toys and learning things and so forth - we definitely need to BREAK that cycle with future generations .... celebrate the ways we truly ARE different because the sexes ARE different ... only women can actually 'bare' and naturally 'feed' infants yes and that is a special gift for us but we BOTH can be equal in every other way .... aside from that fundamental difference the sexes are and should be treated equal ... while some things might come 'easier' to certain people based on their size and stature or others that might be 'harder' based on the same there is no feat that either sex cannot DO if properly motivated ;)

re: little boys

my pt-dcb was wearing a tutu like the girls when we were silly dancing this week, he asked for it so I said yes. He even was waving the wand around....its was fun. I knew the dad gave off a MEN DONT DO THIS vibe so I told mom in a very 'so cute' tone that we did this today. She laughed and thought it was fun.....then said "oh but yeah dont tell his father". w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r