Parents being rude to your kids

Mom drops her son off this morning and he has a cookie in his hand. My son sees his cookie, and like a zombie, is totally attracted to it. I'm like, great, and tell my son I will get him one too. I'm saying come on, let's go get one, trying to get mom to leave, she just stands there. My son is continuously trying to get to her kids' cookie while I am trying to usher her out the door. She bends over, takes her kids arm and pushes my son's hand away and says "stop" like he's a dog. It wasn't like, an authoratative stop, it was like "you're ***ing annoying, stop." I really didn't like her tone or the way she pushed his hand. I was sort of shocked so I just picked up my son and got him a cookie. Finally mom left, but the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. FIRST OF ALL, she brought her kid with a cookie, what did she think was going to happen, second of all - there's no reason to talk to my kid like that, I don't talk to her kid like that.

What would you do?

I would have sent the cookie back with Mom and said "You can have breakfast here, Johnny, but cookies are for dessert and it needs to go bye bye with Mommy".
I would email Mom and tell her that for the future, if her child was unable to eat breakfast at home then she may pack a healthy breakfast for him to eat here after drop off. I would include a short list of healthy foods (fruit, yogurt, granola, etc) too to make it EXTRA clear, lol.
That would tick me off too!

Immediately you should have taken the cookie and handed it back to her and said sorry no outside food is allowed especially not cookies in the morning.

She should not have touched your child. That is over the line. I would have a calm chat with her about the incident and let her know that her child should not come with food that you have not o.k.ed and that if your child needs some instruction, that it will come from you. Also let her know you don't condone physical force in your daycare towards any of the children in your care.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Littledragon

...What would you do?

---

Yup - the minute they showed up with food from outside my home I would have told her 'Sorry ~ if he wants to finish that you need to go back to the car - otherwise here's the garbage you'll need to toss it out .... although my 'no outside food' is mainly due to allergies this is another reason ~ it is not fair to the others to see someone coming in with a perceived 'treat' that they cannot have!

However now that we are dealing with 'hindsight' I would approach it with a 'I was not comfortable with this mornings interaction over the cookie ~ " and that put in how you want to handle either NO outside food, only outside food if they bring something to SHARE or only 'healthy breakfast type options' whatever works for your program?

I'm not the best with confrontation so I would probably send home random news letters with rules that come up, issues to be addressed, and include some fun stuff like future outings, recipes the children liked etc.

I'm kinda bad with confrontation too, but I would most definitely address this. As everyone else upthread has said, I am uncomfortable with the nutrition level of the "breakfast" as well as her behaviour toward your child. This would not be acceptable to me.

Thank god! I thought I was completely nuts! I have made the decision to terminate. Not due to this, but EVERYTHING I've dealt with in the past few months. Mom's pregnant (whole other bitter issue), and he may not be staying past October, and I feel bad letting him go when she only has a few months left, but I'm fed up. I am now actively looking for someone to replace them. I don't think there are ANY issues left to address with them. The ONLY thing they haven't "done wrong" was paying me on time lol which I guess is a big issue but EVERYTHING else has been an issue.

Thanks for making me feel like I'm not completely nutso lol

I have a mom that shows up with bags of fish crackers... cheesy's (yup in the morning) cookies, bananas ect. Such a pain! And rude too. I don't send my children to other peoples house food in hand.

You are not completely nutso. If the situation was reversed a parent would have walked out and not come back. In this case the parent was totally out of line on so many counts just with this one incidents. Add in other issues and that just makes it more compelling.

If you do keep this child then no matter what happens in daycare she will blame it on your son so you are no further ahead just delaying a future issue.

I like that you have decided to term. The fact she is pregnant and going to cause disruption in the fall anyways is besides the point. Replace now so you have a new group in place for the fall.

I would terminate too. I'm a bit sensitive and this incident would keep my mind occupied until I solve the problem. And my way of solving problem is to terminate. And I would make sure she knows and understands that I terminated because of her treating my kid badly. I don't care if I'll have to cut down on things because of the loss of income. My family and my sanity comes first.

It is her problem if she needs to find care until she give birth. She should have think about it before she illtreat my child.

I can only imagine what would happen with this mom if your little one dare eat a cookie or something in front of her child?? She probly would have taken out the unfair flag let us know how it goes

DEFINITELY let us know how it goes...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cocoon

I would terminate too. I'm a bit sensitive and this incident would keep my mind occupied until I solve the problem. And my way of solving problem is to terminate. And I would make sure she knows and understands that I terminated because of her treating my kid badly. I don't care if I'll have to cut down on things because of the loss of income. My family and my sanity comes first.

It is her problem if she needs to find care until she give birth. She should have think about it before she illtreat my child.

---

100% agree with Cocoon. Nobody talks down to MY child. Nobody lays a hand on or swats away MY child. This is MY child's home and he is not in daycare, he is with his mommy and his mommy will protect him and care for him and will be the only one to discipline him. I would term over the disrespect she showed you and your child by addressing him like that. There is no excuse for bad behavior like that, ever.

Deal breaker. I would have terminated on the spot for that. Here's the deal......I provide care instead of use it because I do not trust other people with my children. So HANDS OFF my kid. You touch my kid or otherwise admonish MY KID when YOU break the rules (bringing food in) then you are done here. Period, Finished. NEXT!

I agree with everyone's comments. Also, when the parent saw that your son wanted the cookie, she herself should have either asked you if it would be ok to share the cookie with your son (even though I don't agree with cookies in the morning) or she should have told her child that she would take the cookie and save it in the car for when she picked him up. Her response to the situation was def uncalled for and out of line. I too would terminate.

I have a mom who brings her 2 yr old son in with a banana and then sits on the floor so she (we) can watch him eat it because "gosh, he's so darn cute eating that banana" and then she hands me the peel. I now hand her a paper towel to put the banada peel in and ask her to take it with her. Another child comes in with a jamacain patty (smelly) I have stated to both Mom's outside food isn't permissable but then they say they wouldn't eat at home for them.

Did you end up issuing a termination letter LittleDragon? How'd it go?

No I didn't. I'm a bit of a softy. I went back and forth about it. I was REALLY pissed off! There was that, and other things that were bothering me, like him showing up two days in a row without shoes, dropping him and picking him up during nap times.
I spoke to my husband, and we both decided that we are more than able to survive finanically without the little boy. However, my son's birthday is coming up and I was counting on their money for that. I know it sounds silly, but I am making a big deal out of this birthday lol Also, my son LOVES the little boy. He cries when he leaves and he gets really excited when he comes. They play really well together, and they really love each other. It broke my heart to think that one day my son would wake up and be without the only friend he's ever had. I know, I'm a suck lol
So, I thought about writing a "final notice" letter, informing them of all the policies they've violated, but then I thought I should just terminate them. I went back and forth about it for a few days.
In the end, I re-issued my policies, asked that she read them, intitialize each page and return it by Friday, along with a written list of his hours while she's on vacation. I also texted her that day and told her that if the little boy didn't have shoes the following day, he would not be allowed to attend. On top of that, I sent the July newsletter out, with alot of "reminders", like eating breakfast prior to coming, no food allowed in the house unless they are willing to share, and that payment is still due on Monday even though it's a holiday.

Last night, she showed up with the policies signed, a the calendar with all his hours stated, and a check for the following two weeks. And she's been SUPER sucky. I think she realized she was being stupid and that she would be screwed without me. SO, I'm keeping them for the time being. I know I'm a big suck, but I think I put my foot down and I really hope she starts to take me seriously here on out.

So that is my LONG answer to your question lol

And I realize now that I have no right to complain about them after this. I have made the concious decision to keep them, even though I know they can be a pain in my ass, so I won't be complaining about them any longer - and hopefully I won't feel the need to either.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Littledragon

And I realize now that I have no right to complain about them after this. I have made the concious decision to keep them, even though I know they can be a pain in my ass, so I won't be complaining about them any longer - and hopefully I won't feel the need to either.

---

You can still complain/vent...there are always things we question or that annoy us even with the BEST of parents/kids...don't worry! :glomp:

I think you handled it well and now that she knows you're serious, hopefully she'll start respecting you in your home!
And oh please, none of us are here to judge you!! Just support you! Vent away girl!!!!