Am I Over Reacting?/ Vent

So, I have a little one (21 months) who comes from 11:30- 5:30 on Fridays. I have asked his parents that they do not give him a nap and feed him lunch before dropping him off as we have lunch at 11am and then go down for naps any time between 11:30-12pm (depending on how cranky the children are). He has only been here for a month and I'm not sure if he is going to be staying permanently or not. He has been dropped off a few times already either already having had a nap, or not have eaten lunch yet. I have told them at those times, what is expected.
Today, she dropped him off at 11:50, having just woken him up from an hour and a half nap, and without lunch. Needless to say I was a little angry. She then asked if this was a problem. I told her yes, as I didn't make enough lunch for her son and would have to make him something else, also he would have to have quiet time still as everyone is going down for naps in a few minutes.
She then said, "Well, does your daughter nap?" (she's three). I said, "No, she does quiet actvities." I was soo mad, that I didn't tell her that I require my daughter to lie down and watch a movie, and then she can get up and do quiet activities. She just said, well that's fine, he can just do quiet activities.
I did say to her that if she wanted me to give him lunch, he would need to be dropped off at 11 from now on.
Ugh... I didn't want to get into the fact that this is my break time as well, and to get two kids to stay quiet is far more difficult than getting one to be quiet. Also, I had planned to set up water activities outside quickly while everyone was having quiet time, and now that may not happen as I have to make sure they stay quiet (I guess I could bring them outside with me), but that's not the point.
I am planning on mentioning all this at pick up, whether it be her again or her husband.
Do I have a right to be mad or am I over reacting?

I would be so mad!!! as Judy would say... NEXT!!! I have a three year old of my own as well and it is completely different. She is my child and can also sit quietly and still and watch a movie. I would tell her your Daughter does have to lie still on the couch and rest and isn't aloud to get up and since a that could be difficult for a 21month old your policy is that he has to stay in a play pen for 2 hours and if he is awake that's her fault for putting him down for a morning nap. I will never take children for half days because of this problem and if she wants you to continue taking her son for half days she needs to be told how it is. It's your business!

Well, to be fair, he has stayed sitting on the couch, but I have had to tell him and my daughter to be quiet a few times.
On a side note, it seems all the children here today have decided that they don't want naps! Yay! :(

He is only half days on Fridays, otherwise I wouldn't have accepted him.

I don't do half days either and napping is not negotiable here. That being said if a child chooses not to sleep then that's fine but they are not allowed out of their bed until quiet time is over. I have one family who's child is going to be three shortly and they think he is out growing his nap but as Judy would say " if you have outgrown your nap then you have outgrown my daycare" next

Nope, I would be mad if a client did that to me as well! I have policies and procedures around things for a reason ~ 20 years of learning what works and does not work in GROUP CARE ~ so you either respect that and follow them OR you find a lil ole pink slip in your backpack one day saying 'see ya later' ;)

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Originally Posted by Ashleigh

Well, to be fair, he has stayed sitting on the couch, but I have had to tell him and my daughter to be quiet a few times.
On a side note, it seems all the children here today have decided that they don't want naps! Yay! :(

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And this is why I do not do HALF DAYS cause you just cannot trust clients to not do what is best for THEM in the mornings and well their kid sleeping 2 hours in the morning while they are home means BREAK for them and they do not care if YOU do not get one cause in their mind they are paying you!

Plus with not having everyone on the same 'schedule' it is hard to get kids to nap properly .... honestly if you were a child again and you KNEW that others were up and playing, even quietly, would you WANT to nap willingly even if you were tired or would you resist nap time so you could be down there with them? Think about those times like Christmas or family gatherings when our parents were up having 'fun' and we were resisting going to bed ~ everyday is Christmas for kids in daycare they do not want to miss out on anything ;)

Kids are social it is normal to want to be up and doing what everyone else is doing which is why at my house EVERYONE, regardless of age, has quiet time for an hour on their cot/bed this allows the youngest ones to get into a deep sleep so that if the older ones are up doing 'quiet' things and making light noise they do not wake up from it and yes this is when I take MY break and sit down for my own quiet time!

At this point I woun't care that he was quiet on the couch. The point is that you told her he has to arrive at a specific time and she ignored YOUR rules showing YOU no respect. That is what pisses me off.

I would for sure talk to them at pick up....heck I would even issue a written warning. You are to arrive with your child at 11:30am FED and ready for his nap to follow OUR schedule. If they can not follow your house rules than....oh Judy...."NEXT".

^^^Everything Mamma_Mia said!!!

Thank you all for your input. I have things set up for a reason, and I have been nice about until now. I have mentioned several times if they want me to feed him lunch on Friday, to bring him at 11.
I believe she will think I am favouring my own daughter by making her son nap/ have quiet time while mine gets to watch a movie. In a way I am, its my time to spend some one on one time with her and honestly, I have enough trouble keeping my own daughter quiet, let alone worrying about two kids. I like to recharge during quiet time, and I deserve it. I will definitely be talking to them at pick up. Thanks everyone!

It is pretty rude.
So she had the nap on her time rather than spend time with her child but in a way it comes across like she wants you to 'earn' your half day by having her child AWAKE the whole half day.

Kind of doesn't sit well with me. He shoudl be sleeping along with everyone else.

Parents think our nap time is just to lay down and relax but is actually a time to have our own lunch, to check emails for the daycare, do prep for snack and write logs depending on whether you do those. It isn't much 'down' time that we get. I am often still tidying up during nap and prepping for the rest of the day.

And like others have said - you specifically asked her not to give him a nap and what your needs were and she disrespected them. I wouldn't terminate over it but it sure would not impress me :no::no:

It is really none of her business what YOUR child is doing during quiet time! It is your home and your daughter's home...you and your daughter can do whatever you want with that time. It is your breaktime and anybody who thinks you don't need a break is not only disrespecting you, but also doing a disservice to their own child who has a tired grumpy caregiver by the end of the day instead of one who is refreshed and ready to be "on" again for the afternoon. Stay strong and put your foot down!

I would have told her that this is my quiet time. I need to have lunch and have a break. It's very hard to get a child to the point of "quiet" for quiet time or nap when they are just dropped off. You deserve your break. I'm sure she get's a break at work, why shouldn't you? If she doesn't like it ... too bad! She's one day a week. If she doesn't play by your rules move on... find someone with better hours for you. She'd be lucky to find anyone to do just one day of week care for her.

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Originally Posted by apples and bananas

She'd be lucky to find anyone to do just one day of week care for her.

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100% not many out there are willing to offer that!

Thanks everyone! I will be speaking to them about this.
A&B- I guess I should clarify that he is full time, but on Fridays he is here only for the afternoon.
I'm not too worried if they leave as I do have someone wanting a full time spot in September.

*hugs*
we all need nap and quite time including caregivers. This parent need to respect your policy. Once week care is a favor you have done to them, the least they can do, is respect your policy. And its Friday?

I need my nap or quite time too.



Angie

I would not be cool with someone openly disrespecting my policies like that. It is none of her business what your daughter does. And I would also not be cool that the example was set by one kid staying up that they all wanted to stay up!

I would approach it as her child not being ready for the day, so he can't attend. Just like a sick policy. He can't participate fully in the day if the parent hasn't prepared him properly. Therefore, if he naps before coming, so sorry, try again next Friday. If he isn't fed, she has to take him and feed him and bring him back. He wouldn't be allowed in my door unless the answer to the napping question was NO and the feeding question was YES. In fact I would block the door so she wouldn't even have time to take his coat off. No right answers, no entry. These are simple requests and it may force her to pull, but then you won't have to worry what this Friday's outcome will be and you won't have to worry about someone disrespecting your time.

I had a client like that and no matter what I kept saying they did there own thing. I terminated, for you I would actually ask them to drop off at 10:30 this way there is no napping them and it won't interrupt your lunch. Tell them if they drop off at 11:30 without lunch then an additional fee will be added as you not only miss your break but you are required to make an additional lunch.

When more money is on the line people usually get the message.

and you definitely can tell her this is your down time. We need it, deserve it and it makes us better providers. How would she like to give up her break at work?

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Originally Posted by mimi

and you definitely can tell her this is your down time. We need it, deserve it and it makes us better providers. How would she like to give up her break at work?

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haha mimi, that is so true. who likes to give up her break at work?