Ugh, I feel sick to my stomach...my first termination

Hi Ladies,
I just feel so sick over this whole situation!!!

I have been providing after school care for a little girl since October. I had JUST opened and at that time, I had more than enough flexibility to deal with her sporadic schedule. Only coming 1-2 times per week, and some weeks not at all, on different days each time. This little girl has given me MORE than enough trouble as she has a very bullying personailty, and Mom and Dad and I have had more than one long conversation about her behaviour. She is attending full days throughout the summer, again on sporadic days and times, and she has also been on probation for the month of July to monitor her behaviour. She hasnt been a princess but nothing I couldn't handle or be on top off either.

The problem is her schedule, and my schedule for the fall. My childcare has become very popular in the area and a couple families are looking to sign on full time but until now I have said no to save her that space she is barely using. I know that some of you will probably think me unprofessional for terminating and not continuing on, but my family's income would be so much better off if I did and I DO have families lined up ready to go.

I WISH I could just cut the ties and move on, dust my hands off but this mom has become my dang friend and we knew each other and our daughters had playdates before I began providing care for her. It'll be rough, and I know she'll be upset.

Any advice on how to word my termination notice...I know I don't *need* to provide a reason, but I feel being my friend she deserves a reason but I'm struggling with the wording, this is what I have:

Hi ___ and ____,

Hope you are having a great week!

I'm afraid this email comes with some bad news. After sitting down for 2 hours, pouring over my scheduling and budgeting for the daycare, I'm afraid I have to give you notice that I will no longer be able to provide any after school care for _______ beginning in September. This is nothing personal, it is simply a matter of business and income. I hate that it sounds so cold, but I simply cannot afford to hold a full time after school space for someone who comes 1-2 times per week. When my business started up, I had plenty of flexibility with spacing, but as it has grown things have become busier and I am needing to be more regemented with my scheduling. I'm so sorry, but am relieved that I am able to give you plenty of notice to set something else up. I completely understand should you feel upset, and I apologize this business relationship did not end as I would have hoped it too. I feel horrible on my end, but have to do what works best for my buiness and family.



Sincerely,
Lou



Thoughts?

Less apologizing/emotion/explanation. Stick to business.

Please keep in mind that I'm a newbie care provider (beginning this September), but I am a university communications professor. It is in this role that I respond. I wouldn't begin with "Hope you are having a great week!" Seems callous given that you are giving bad news. I am not for a second suggesting you are callous, I expect this is causing you a lot of stress. I'm a neutral third-party, that's all.
Also, I feel you sound too apologetic, as though you really aren't sure you are doing the right thing. You sound tentative.
How about something like this:

I am very sorry to let you know that as of September I will be unable to provide any after school care, as my business plan simply does not afford me that luxury any longer. It has been a pleasure having your child in my day home, and I do wish you all the best as you find other care arrangements for your child. This is one of those times when I wish government regulations did not require me to restrict the numbers of children in my care.
Best,
Your name

I agree with Treeholm, throw in and sorry but for want of a better thought there is no need to "beg for her forgivness"

You are doing what's best...That is all.

Thanks ladies!

The reason I put "hope you are having a great week" is because i'm currently on vacation this week, so I haven't seen any of them for quite a few days. Good point though!

By letting them know that the issue is financial success for the daycare and nothing personal also gives them the chance to offer to pay for the full space even though they only use it a bit which of course they have no intention of doing since they only need a few hours not even full days come September but you have left that door open to them. For sure providing care till the child is back in school and then booking new families accordingly but I'm sure you had already planned things that way.

I agree with Treeholms version short, sweet and professional without the emotion ~ you can do an 'I sorry' with her in person as part of your friendship but I would definitely keep the written just business ... also since this is someone you like and respect and who has become a 'friend' you could also add something like 'to aid in your search for a new arrangmenet I have enclosed a few websites that my peers advertize on, the local Ontario Early Years Centre has a list of 'before and after school' programs that you could inquire about, the Ministry of Education website will have a list of licensed school age programs near your school etc' and provide her with some resources in your community for starting her search .... often the problem with finding quality childcare is not that it is not available but that clients do not know where to START to search for it.

For any newbies starting out who are considering offering this kind of 'flex care' service because in the moment 'some income seems better than no income' to avoid hurt feelings LATER when the arrangement no longer works because you realize you are not 'loosing out' on income in order to serve them my suggestion would be to make sure your arrangement and contract clearly states that 'While flex care is currently an option within the program I, the undersigned, am aware that the long term business plan of 'daycare name' is to secure full time permanent clients in all of the spaces allowed in the program ~ at such time that there is a new client who is interested in the full time space we are occupying under this flex care contract I am aware that to continue forth in the contract for service my option will to commit to paying full fees for the space OR to forfeit the space entirely' or something like that that less wordy but that makes it clear the FLEX space in your program is only TEMPORARY and that in the future your goal is to have a full time income from it ... this way everyone is entering into the arrangement with eyes wide open they realize from the onset that this is your BUSINESS and the service they are asking you to provide really is not a 'long term viable business option' but something you can do in the 'short term' to help them out and yourself out.

It's so hard it this line of work to cut business ties as, like you, I tend to befriend my clients. However, you have to do what's best for your situation. I have implemented a minimum attendance requirement in my daycare. This way, even if it's not full time, it's at least worth my while and consistent. I require a minimum of 3 days per week for part timers. You could always invite her to maintain a consistent schedule instead of ruling her out altogether, if that's something you're comfortable with. It's a bit of a compromise, but if it's something you can live with, then maybe it will work. On the other side of the coin, if your service is becoming popular and you think you can fill the space immediately, it's pretty hard to say no to the consistently higher income.

I agree with everyone else....don't beg for forgiveness (though I'd lean to that as well).

Be professional, your business, your decisions, don't explain, don't be emotional, don't apologize! Sorry, but I would change that email completely.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Starshine

Less apologizing/emotion/explanation. Stick to business.

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I agree-don't apologize-it isn't personal.

Good luck!

I just want to say that I don't think you're unprofessional for doing this. I had a post last week where we all discussed letting a family go due to their unwillingness to provide information and we decided it was best to just go with the flow in order to keep good vibes and not "burn bridges". However, I think that in this circumstance, this is what's best for your business. Yes, it is always nice to be able to keep your word and continue the way it's always been, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Sometimes is just doesn't WORK! If this is what is best for your business and your finances (which a HUGE factor in running your own business) then this is what you need to do.

Also, I know how difficult it us to keep "professional and authoratative" in your letters, especially when you've built a more personal relationship with your client. But try to be straight to the point with your letter, and if she has any issues, or comes to you, then you can be more understanding and emotional and more explaination. But for the purpose of the business, and for being treated like a business owner, you should keep your letter straight forward and to the point :)

I just realized this wasn't my first termination, HA! i terminated in January...duh, baby brain!

Anyways, I just wanted to give an update because I always look for updates after people post. THANK YOU for all your helpful advice. It wasn't that I became friends with this Mom through daycare, we were actually friends before hand which made this more difficult. So I mixed both emails together so it was businessy, but also more personal considering the circumstance. Mom got back to me the next day and said she completely understood and while they're disappointed they want to thank me for the excellent care I provided. PHEW!!!!! I had it all up in my head that she was going to be angry and confrontational. I'm SO glad it didn't end up like that...it kind of sounded like they saw it coming, or knew it would happen someday.
Anyways, that's that!!! A weight lifted off my chest :)

This is a hard one. I once terminated a part time for the exact same reason. It just didn't make any sense financially anymore.

it was a rough termination. I was very simple and to the point. I gave her a months notice (cause I felt so bad for terminating to begin with)

there is such a fine line between business and personal in this line of work.

All the best to you.

Just inform her that full time has higher status than part, however you will continue to try and work with their sched given you have the room. I always explain to parents that come for part-time care that it will be held on a contingent basis unless they chose to pay for full time spot. even then, I have let people go because they didnt use the space that someone else truly needed. Nothing wrong with being honest, and if shes really a friend she will understand by holding this spot she is also holding back your income.