The family I SHOULD have terminated!

My very first family ever. Ive had them for over a year. I've done so much work on their youngest.. he's come such a long way. I've had a few lates, some issues with payment, but I've always held on because she always comes through (payment right away after she's forgotten) and I hate to see so much work put into the little guy just to terminate him because of his mom. He does really well here.

So, here I am in the summer... I do not charge for 2 vacation weeks per year. Everything above that is charged at the full rate. Her kids are hardly ever sick, she's never pulled them for vacation.

She started the summer by pulling her older for daycamps... fine... he's not coming back in the fall anyhow so it wasn't a huge loss and it was manageable to loose one over the summer... I have his space filled for the fall already.

Now we're half way through the summer and she's suddenly pulling 2 weeks vacation on me! On top of that she's asked if I would mind if she pulled her son so he can stay with a family member for the rest of the summer. (to save money no doubt) I told her she's welcome to but she'll have to pay for his space if she wants it for the fall. So, now she's come up with this 2 weeks vacay... and I don't really belive it, but what do you do.

I should have terminated months ago! Now I'm wrapped in so far I feel like there's no way out.

UGH! Thanks for listening... just feeling like I've lost control over this one. Not sure when and not sure how to get it back.l

Ugh, that's tough...it sucks financially for you, but it's in her right to take the 2 weeks unpaid vacation right?? If you don't terminate, just remind her that any vacation taken throughout the rest of the year needs to be paid in full.

Oh good lord! Some people just don't understand that this is our life line! This is how we make our living! And we need them just as much as they need us. I think it's really rude of her to do that. Taking him out for the two weeks...fine...it's vacation, that's allowable. But taking him out for the rest of the summer? Did she give you any notice or did she just take him out? Do you have any of this in your policies? Do you have a termination notice policy (mine is 3 weeks), what about "holding fees"? If you don't have any of these in your policies, its hard to hold any of this against her, even though it's pretty mean and inconsiderate.

If you decide not to terminate, I would make her pay in full for the summer before she leaves, to keep his place. However, IMO I would terminate. I TOTALLY understand what you mean about putting so much into a little boy. I have the exact same thing with my little boy. He was SO difficult, both him and his parents, and bc I didn't have the option to terminate, I worked SUPER hard to 'mold' them. Now, it's like, if I let them go, it's all for naught. But if you're going to get 'screwed' and she clearly isn't trying to be honest with you or communicate anything with you, then I don't know there is a point, you know?

Good luck! Sending you good vibes!

Although it sucks not to have pay for 2 weeks...you gave her this option in your contract, so IMO you can't complain. I don't give anything for free...that way I always know that I can depend on my income (unless someone leaves). Basically, if you made the rule, I'm not really sure why you are upset?

I would start advertising and the minute you fill her spot give her notice. No way I would keep a family like that around. When they start screwing with your income it is time to send them on their way.

Actually, she has the right to use 2 weeks vacation which I don't think you have problem with. But if she takes her son for the rest of the summer then I would suggest you to either ask which you did already for her to pay to hold the spot or find another client to fill his spot. And if you having problems with this mom I think best you should find another family but again there is no guarantee that the new family will be as good as gold. You need to do lots of thinking.

I don't give any body free vacation but I don't charge for my vacation. If I go on holiday I will need a month. Two weeks won't be enough as my home is on the other side of the Atlantic :)

She is taking him out for 3 weeks, paying me for one, which is part of my contract and that's fine. What bothers me is that she has waited until the very last minute to do it and we discussed vacation at the beginning of the summer. I guess I need to address the summer differently next year... Get confirmation of vacay time at the beginning of the summer.

My frustration with this family has snowballed. The 2 weeks don't bother me, i expect that... it's the disrespect that bothers me.

The older one that she pulled at the begging of summer did give me notice, but way too much I guess. We decided end of may that he would not return in the fall. So I replaced him as of the Fall. Then she pulled him right at the beginning of the summer. She gave me the proper 2 weeks, but I have already replaced the spot, so I'm out that money until September when my replacement starts.

I do not offer the parents any vacation time. I did that in my first year and realized it was a big mistake. I have to budget and pay my bills and the parents will spring surprises on us if it suits their life without regard for us. I'm sorry, but it's a fact. Everyone has to take care of themself, including us.

So, I take 3 weeks vacation every year and the parents don't pay, but otherwise, they pay full fees for 49 weeks per year no matter what happens, sick or stat or missed days for any reason. I can budget, they can budget, their space is paid for all year long unless I'm on vacation, period, no questions, no fancy budgeting.

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Originally Posted by Momof4

I do not offer the parents any vacation time. I did that in my first year and realized it was a big mistake.

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Me either. I, too, made this mistake. My first year of care (with a contract. Yes, I actually started out my first year with NO contract. So, my second year I got one) I allowed every family to take one week of vacation wherein they didn't have to pay me. Epic FAIL for a contract!!! EVERY family in care took their week of vacation in JULY. Yep, EVERY family. And, I had booked off five days in July for myself too. So, there I was in July losing around $1500 in one month!!!

NEVER did that again! If you come here you pay, regardless of attendance.

Wow ~ ya I do not offer clients any 'unpaid time off' either ~ as others mentioned it is too hard to budget if people will take them all or some, when they will take them and if they take them all at ONCE the hit to income would suck for sure and well it just honestly opens the door to more conflict around being 'short changed' on fee payments cause they took a day off and wanted to use their vacation for it and so forth ~ IMO just easiest to do the 'you pay for the space' concept with a consistent fee!

However if I DID offer this it would definitely have to be in writing with at least 30 days notice given so that I could budget for it ~ springing it on you on payday 'oh btw we are off the next 3 weeks so I will not be paying you' .... ummm NOPE that is so not cool nor fair!

That's a great idea, to have something in the contract making sure I have notice. I have my reasons for not charging for their vacation and I'm ok with it. I just think the way she's doing it is sneaky... much like other things she's done. There should be a certain amount of trust between provider and parent and I don't trust her at all! Not enough to terminate with good reason... that's the most frustrating part for me I think.

I think I will build that into my contract.

You need to do what feels fair in your contract while protecting yourself for sure ~ if you want to offer them a 'break' but the lack of notice or the concern of everyone taking time at the same time concerns you than work those 'specifics' in to cover ... another thing I would have to quantify if I offered vacation time in addition to notice would be that 'no vacation credit time could be used in December cause those times of year are just so overstretched with family budget for Xmas and so forth and well that is the time I fear most people might want to take a 'break in paying fees' by taking a vacation time!

have had similar things happen to me also. thats when I look back at my contracts and change things if need be. I think the 2 weeks vaca is just another needle in the hay stack with these people. It really sounds like she had a taste of saving money from the first kid leaving your care and shes addicted. Now she is biding her time until summer is over, who knows she may be usung these 3 weeks to find alternate free care i.e. family members and friends for the rest of the summer, then at the end of the three weeks she might not plan to come back. who knows...you put your best in people and they sometimes dont do the same. I would consider looking/advertising to fill the spot and that way when she comes to you in 3 weeks with her news of not returning, you can inform her you had a feeling that was going to happen so you went ahead and filled the position. Its never the kids that are the problem, its the parents!!!

Thank you,

I'm actually fairly confident that she doesn't want to loose me in September. She wants to maintain her space but not pay for it. She keeps throwing comments at me in the am like "XXX didn't want to leave this morning, he really likes it when XXX cares for him" Like I'm supposed to feel guilty because I'm forcing him to be here???? I have a wait list a mile long! I don't want to start a new kid, but I can and I will if she leaves. I think the most frustrating part is she just won't leave and I really have no reason to terminate at this point. How do I fit this into my contract " I reserve the right to terminate you if I just don't like you" LOL