How would you think/feel?

Hello Ladies,

I'm looking for some thoughts/advice/suggestions on how you would feel and handle a situation that I've never had to deal with before.

I am going on vacation next week. I am taking 5 days plus the stat for my vacation. I advised all my families in January. I have a new family who started at the beginning of July. They were advised as soon as they signed on as well.

its in my contract that I'm not responsible for finding you back up care, and families don't pay for any time off that I take (which I don't take any, this is the first time in years that I've taken anything more than a stat off)

So my issue is that...last night I sent out a reminder which I do every week to remind families that I'm off the 3-10th. I get a response back from the new family saying and I quote; ' well you damn well screwed me over by taking time off'. she then proceeded to say she would see what she could do, but could I let her know of anyone else I know that could look after her daughter during that week. I haven't responded yet because my first response was to tell her to take a flying you know what...but after sleeping on it and stressing about it all day, I really feel she was rude and disrespectful!

I know so many providers who take weeks off each year and the families pay even when she's on vacation so I'm really offended by how this mother treated me...am I in the wrong/right to feel this way? How would you all feel?

Thanks for letting me vent!

I actually found the language she used offensive. I think your first response was very much appropriate for her :) stay away from these kind of trashy people!

If I received an email like that I would be having a face to face talk with that parent about respect. Nobody talks to me like that! I would be so angry my ads would already be up today if I were you and I would be setting up interviews and giving them notice. You should be offended and you should make this parent know that NOBODY talks to you like that! Don't apologize, don't back down, stand tall and demand respect or else.

Personally speaking, my response would be a swift e-mail back saying something like:

Dear So & So,

Honestly speaking, I find your language offensive. I informed you about my vacation time when you first signed on with me back in (whenever you signed her). I would have hoped that would have given you more than enough time to make arrangements for this coming week.

I'd like to state clearly now - if I haven't before - that I have zero tolerance of disrespectful behaviour and language. I believe our relationship cannot prosper without mutual respect. I treat all my clients and their children with the utmost respect. I ask that the same regard be extended to me.

Sincerely...

My response would be one similar to jazmic's. I'd start advertising right away. It's written right into my contract that disrespect and abusive language is grounds for IMMEDIATE dismissal from my day home. I'm so sorry, Michelle. That sucks.

My response would be 2 weeks notice... including the one I'm away for. Get payment and call it a day with that one. I mean, what does she expect? Does she really expect you to continue care after speaking with you like that??? crazy!

I really like jazmic's response. If she responds in a snarky manner, DONE. In fact, I'm not even sure I'd tolerate waiting for the response....

Wow, I can't beleive how many people disrespect their childcare providers. I've been reading so many post and I can't even imagine doing half the stuff people do. Especialy someone I CHOSE to provide care for my child. I mean come on it's insane. This job is difficult and demanding in itself even if it is lots of fun. We don't need to be rasing the parents on top of the children and dealing with such idiotic incidents. Sorry Michelle, I don't have much advice other than what's already been said.

I love Jazmic's email...I wuold send something just like that and also include a warning that disrespectful behaviour is grounds for termination. Depending on how she reacts, I might consider keeping her on...but on probation.

Smart of you to not react immediately and seek the excellent advice of the above ladies. I am sorry you were disrespected, it is infuriating. I know it can be difficult to find new families to care for and bills need to be paid. I think I would send your email to her and your decision should rest on her response. If it is another snarky one, it's a no brainer- bye bye, but she may be apologetic for her behavior and if you find her apology acceptable to you, you could continue care. Either way, she will know that you are not a person she can ever disrespect again. Good Luck!!!!!

Wow ~ I agree with the ladies about ... I would be having a pointed conversation as well providing a 'written reminder' that sums up my conversation about A) having a back up plan for both emergency and planned closures was discussed in the interview and the summer vacation plan was one of those closures and B) the lack of respect and tone shown if repeated in the future will result in termination of our agreement

Some peoples children!

Oh wow!
That is really rude and I would respond by email so you can choose your words carefully ~ being respectful yet firm that you don't accept being spoken to like that. This way you won't get caught off with something she says or her body language ...then when you see her next you can follow up face to face by asking her by looking at her and not turning your eye contact asking if she recived your email.
She needs to know that yes, you both work together but you don't need to take that garbage!

Let us know what you do and how things work out.

I still haven't replied back to her. She is supposed to drop her child off tomorrow morning at 7am. I guess her attitude towards me will determine if we continue our working relationship or not. I understand frustration about not having back up care, but still no excuse to to be rude and disrespectful. Thank you ladies for all your amazing feedback and for making me feel like I was right to be offended. :)

My 2 cents {again} ;) I really think you need to address it even if she comes across as pleasant and nothing is wrong at drop off today.
If you allow her to treat you that way, she will continue. You don't need to be confrantational when you talk to her about it and or email back but, not addressing it is like saying it's OK.

Good luck this morning!! Let us know

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Momof4

If I received an email like that I would be having a face to face talk with that parent about respect. Nobody talks to me like that! I would be so angry my ads would already be up today if I were you and I would be setting up interviews and giving them notice. You should be offended and you should make this parent know that NOBODY talks to you like that! Don't apologize, don't back down, stand tall and demand respect or else.

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:yes::yes: DITTO :yes::yes:

Im a big fan of including the email of where the information was mentioned below....like when my new family was paying me $5 short and said "I swear we agreed on xx a day". I replied with..."As you can see by the email sent on XX/XX/2012 (included below) we had agreed on $XX a day."

I don't say anything else, let them sit with their foot in their mouths.....be embarrased and not say a thing. The next day they either a) pay and say sorry 108374 times or b) pay and say nothing because they are idiots :laugh:


SO.........if you mentioned it in an email make sure to have a copy ready for her to see AGAIN.

p.s. In my contract - if I know exactly what dates I'm going on vacation for, I make sure it's noted on it in bold. Each family may have a slightly different contract but the "meat" of it stays the same.....no mistakes there!

I'm hoping that if you decide to keep her on, your relationships isn't too tarnished. I made the mistake of keeping a family on after mom freaked out on me and needless to say, three months later, I found a way to get them out the door as fast as possible.