Dropping off, with food in hand!!!!

I have a child who is dropped off in am with food in hand. This child comes all different times of the day, but almost always comes with her breakfast in hand. (almost always a food I would never provide) In my opinion, unhealthy! Like the stuff you suck from a bag, or processed waffles from the freezer or packaged "quick" breakfasts. I think for me its a mix of just coming in the door in front of other children with food, and a bit bothers me that its foods I dont approve of. (i know there is nothing I can do about what they choose to feed their kid) but i find it kind of rude they drop them off EATING it in front of all the others. Why cant people feed their kids before they bring them? Lazy? Maybe I should tell them if they dont get a chance to eat at home, she is welcome to have breakfast with us. I do provide breakfast every am.

I have had that. I simply say to the child at the door. "let's go to your highchair to finish our breakfast" Or if it's really something that I don't approve of I'll let the parent know that because of allergy's in the house I can't have outside food come inside without seeing the ingredients list. I don't care if they eat it in the car, but it stays there. I find it incredibly rude too. It's just parents who don't want to say no to their child and cause an issue in the am. So frustrating!

Do you have a section in your policy book that states no outside food? The next time the child walks in with food say to the parent I'm sorry but I have been having issues with the other children wanting what your child has and it's not something that I serve here so can you please go back out to the car and finish the food or take it with you and your child can eat at our next meal time.

I have 2 parents that drop off with thier child eating breakfast. They say it's because thier kiddo is starving and can't wait until here to eat breakfast. Meanwhile I have breakfast ready and waiting to serve the other children. Neither of them live longer than a 5 minute car ride away.

It bugs me but now I just hustle them to the table and they get to eat thier breakfast with the other kids and I won't make any portions for them. What they're eating (bun w/nutella for dcg and frozen eggo for dcb) are never as good as what I serve so I feel bad but it's thier parents choice. They know when breakfast is served.

You know, I guess I never really thought of asking for no outside food to come in through contract, just seems silly, but if it causes frustration on my part, its worth it. I think I will do that. It just bugs me and cant explain exactly why......sometimes when kids come in with food they kind of give a look to the others (when the others are eying it up) and with a snobby look on their face, they say something like "this is mine" or "you cant have any" uuuuugh!!! just makes me want to grab it from their hands and say, "neither can you!" and throw it in the garbage. maybe it create a "spoiled" mentality? maybe thats why it bothers me so. :)

I totally understand the frustration...I get that too...crumbs everywhere as I head them off to the highchair, their hands and faces a mess. But, I too remember those crazy busy mornings where I just could not get my little guy going (my workday involved us being ready and in the car by 6am for the 1/2 hr commute to Childcare then additional 1/2 hr to work) and it was breakfast in the car. Fortunately, I had a provider who did not mind (nor do I) me handing him over still in jammies... sometimes breakfast still in hand. So, I am very understanding...I just expect the respect that they not sugar their kids up with unhealthy crap and drop them off!!

I've always told parents that drop off real early, I dont mind the child coming in pj's (i wont judge them :)) just bring their clothes for the day and I will have them get dressed when they are ready to rise and shine "officially". :)

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Originally Posted by kidlove

I've always told parents that drop off real early, I dont mind the child coming in pj's (i wont judge them :)) just bring their clothes for the day and I will have them get dressed when they are ready to rise and shine "officially". :)

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I do the same.

I have a policy in my contract about no outside food being brought in. Children are to come ready for the day and that includes breakfast, being dressed and able to fully participate from the first minute of arrival. If a parent allowed a child to bring food in I would pass that food back to the parent and tell them NO.

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Originally Posted by kidlove

You know, I guess I never really thought of asking for no outside food to come in through contract, just seems silly, but if it causes frustration on my part, its worth it.

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It bothers me for two reasons :

One, a child needs to be ready for the day. Period.

Two, these kids are in care 50 hours a week. I think it is important to be eating breakfast at a KITCHEN TABLE with a PARENT to start off the day. I think most parents these days really do not give enough importance to the Kitchen Table and eating meals there with their kids. Family time is important and eating together and sharing the upcoming day is a way to demonstrate to kids the important social aspect of family.

I don't like it when they come in with food either. My newest boy arrives every morning with strawberry or chocolate milk, arghhhhh! And he's starting to bring in raisins every morning. I put his cup in the fridge and the raisins on my counter and give them back to him when his Mom arrives. If she doesn't catch on by next week I'll have to talk to her about it. But it WILL stop!

I agree Judy T. I just love hearing one of my kids say how Daddy made them oatmeal for breakfast and I can see she loves this start to her day. I have siblings who come with their jamaican patties and smell up the daycare so the next drop off parents sniff and look at me disapprovingly because it smells like something died. Now they try to eat them in the car as I stated they can't eat them here. Have some respect parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Couldnt agree more judy, I have had kids tell me they ate on the way here when I offer breakfast, so I ask what they had......"fruit snacks" what? you are kidding right? eating with parents is so far gone these days, eating healthy has been thrown by the wayside. where is our world headed really? most families do not sit at the table for one single meal, breakfast in the car, day care all day, supper fast food. AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! !

Good idea momof4: i have done that before with special drinks the kids bring, even if its just a juice in a bottle, I will ask them to put in the fridge and they can have it when they go home. I have also thrown the food away after the child places it on the table and runs to play with the others. I just swipe it off the table and put it in the garbage. Kind of like the idea of making it a point to give it to the child in front of the parent, to hopefully send the message of, "dont want it here, but you can have it at home". :)

Kids are not allowed to bring any outside food here for all the reasons the others mentioned.
I also expect them to show up dressed and ready for the day.

The schools wouldn't put up with this so why should I ?
If the parent is rushed in the AM , I suggest they get up earlier and deal with their responsibilities like they will have to do when the kid starts school.

I do not want to hear how " busy" their morning is or how hard it is to get their child ready in the morning.
If they can't do it with ONE, how do they expect us to do it with 6 ???:rolleyes:

I had a child come to the door with a cookie at seven in the morning and, obviously, everyone else wanted one too. I sent out a form home, asked all parents to sign, and stated that due to some issues that arose in the mornings, open food or drinks will not be allowed upon drop off. Any drinks will be put in the fridge immediately and any food will be disposed of. Simple. No one did it again :)

I have apolicy of no outside food. If someone forgets and sends food with their child, I make a point of putting it on the shelf by my front door and say they can take it home at the end of the day...it rarely happens again after that!

I recently had to address this because while I DO allow them to bring in breakfast if they had been running late, one of the dcg would always bring in the most unhealthiest of foods, and it was causing an issue with the other kids. So in the monthly newsletter, I included: " I understand that breakfast is incredibly important, which is why I allow for breakfast to be brought and eaten here if the morning was too rushed. Please note that only healthy breakfast foods may be brought in (fruit, yogurt, muffin, non-sugary cereals, granola,bagel etc). Other foods, such as sugary cereals, pop tarts, cookies etc, cause a disruption to other children in the program who consider these food items to be treats, and defeats the purpose of encouraging a healthy start to the day. "

Judy makes a wonderful picture of a family having breakfast together, but in the real world that just doesn't happen. I was a single Mom with 4 children and getting breakfast for all of them and making sure they had their lunches ready for school and getting myself out the door to work was complete insanity. Hopefully that is not the norm for most families, but I have a sneaking suspicion it's that way for a lot of people. Mornings are rush, rush, rush, so I serve breakfast for the children here at 8am or shortly after so the parents aren't so stressed and the children can sit down together and have nutritious food instead of a freaking poptart in the car.

I did have a rule with my children that our family time was for dinner, so hopefully my daycare families enjoy their evening quality time too.

I agree that the idea of the whole family sitting down for the breakfast meal is ideal but it is not not realistic for 2 working parents in most cases. When my son was in daycare I wouldn't put him in care somewhere that didn't serve breakfast. I wanted him to have a healthy meal that was not rushed and that just wasn't possible for morning in my home. I would get up 2 hours before I had to leave but by the time I was showered and ready, had my son woke, seen hubby off and mixed the formula/got the bag ready for daycare there was just not enough time to sit at the table and eat with him. Most morning I packed breakfast for myself and made it/ate it at work. This is why I offer breakfast in my program.

Thanks Toregone, I know there are two differing opinions on this subject. But I serve breakfast at 8:30 and lunch at 11:30. I see a lot of my fellow caregivers on playdates giving their little ones snack at 9:30 at parks. However, it seems like if they are fed at 9:30 and again at 11:30 or even noon they wouldn't be hungry for lunch.

I serve 2 small items for breakfast, all the food groups for a huge lunch, and then 2 small items for afternoon snack at 3ish. It's working great for me and for my clients.

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Originally Posted by Toregone

I agree that the idea of the whole family sitting down for the breakfast meal is ideal but it is not not realistic for 2 working parents in most cases. When my son was in daycare I wouldn't put him in care somewhere that didn't serve breakfast. I wanted him to have a healthy meal that was not rushed and that just wasn't possible for morning in my home. I would get up 2 hours before I had to leave but by the time I was showered and ready, had my son woke, seen hubby off and mixed the formula/got the bag ready for daycare there was just not enough time to sit at the table and eat with him. Most morning I packed breakfast for myself and made it/ate it at work. This is why I offer breakfast in my program.

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Long story but bear with me: I'm 52 and was raised in the sixties and seventies. I'm from a blended family that had four boys and two girls. Five of six of us were within four years of each other. 3 of 5 of us were within 11 months of each other. My stepsister and I were the youngest of the five kids and the only girls.

We were raised from the time I was 9 to 14 in Rapid City South Dakota. We lived 2.2 miles from the Jr. High. We were raised in a strict Southern Baptist family where "womens work" was to serve the males. Our daily chores for a household of 8 people were very extensive for 12, 13, 14, 15 year old girls.

One of our daily chores was to get up and make breakfast for our brothers and ourselves, serve it to the boys, clean up the table, wash the dishes, get dressed for school and then walk the 2.2 mile walk to school. Now this was Rapid City South Dakota... so imagine what that was like in the winter. Brutal. We never ONCE ... not ONCE got a ride to school.

We had to be at school by 7:30 ish so that meant we had to be out the door by 6:45 to walk that walk and to get to our lockers and get to class on time. So here we were... two young teenage girls getting up EVERY day by 5 so that we could cook a home made breakfast (rotated french toast, pancakes, white rice, oatmeal, and scrambled eggs/toast M-F).

We did this every single day for YEARS. We weren't asked to do it.. we had to or we got hit/grounded/punished. By the time I got to school every day I was exhausted. I had put in 2.5 hours of pretty hard work for a kid... and a long cold walk... before I even opened a text book.

So when I hear how difficult it is for a parent to get their little kid up in the morning, make a REAL home made breakfast, get ready for work, and drive to work... I honestly have to say that's rediculous. I did WAY harder work for WAY more years with WAY less resources as a CHILD.

We need to get a grip and quit making excuses for parents not parenting. It's not THAT hard for an ADULT to get up, get dressed, make a meal, feed and dress a kid, and drive to work. I've btdt as a child and I survived. It was hard but I did it.

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I have been doing daycare for over 30 years and have seen it all! the thing that bothers me is parents who bring in McDonalds for breakfast..talk about not fair to the other kids. I told this to the mom and then she started bringing in McDonalds for all 4 or 5 of my daycare kids. She only did this occasionally, so I did not mind..as long as she could afford it! I have one little guy who comes in by 6:15 a.m. and the mom brings his breakfast, which he does not eat until 8:30 a.m. School starts this week, so I have to get him into eating it by 8:00 a.m. as we are getting ready for school by 8:30 a.m.

Loved your response Daycarewhisperer: unfortunately the world we live in today is no where near the same as it was then and before. I have a desire to keep things the way they were back them, today! family needs to stick together, meals need to be healthy and shared, chores are okay (not child abuse) I enjoy also raising alot of our food, goats for milk, chickens for eggs, pigs for meat and MANY gardens filled with so much. This is the way life should be, harder but better. A day on a farm the good old fashion way is a "harder" yet more rewarding day than any "worldy" day of get up get dressed get to mcdonalds, or grab the cereal bar and get out the door. IF you can manage that life (the harder life) your kids will be better off, IMO. Bet you hard working girls, made pretty spectacular wives. I hope your husbands appreciate you!!!! :)