A few questions for the experienced (or anyone that can help)

I've posted questions here before, but haven't had the time to write anything recently. I have been reading though, and some answers have helped me tremendously with the way I run things here. Even though I have read a lot of posts lately, I need some advice on a few things happening with my daycare children and my daycare business in general.

My first problem: -I have a 2.5 year girl in my daycare who is very sensitive and cries when I tell her not to do something. She also sticks to me all the time. She will only eat at the table if I sit with her. Otherwise, she will eat a few bites and tell me she is all done. At first, I thought she was doing this because she did not want to eat at the table. I learned recently that it is because I am not sitting at the table with her and allowing her to sit on my lap to eat. Unfortunately, I am running back and forth while the children eat to get things for them and get things ready. When she first started coming here, she would refuse to nap unless I was with her and she would cry all day for her mom. She also refused to take part in any activities and would just cry. Her crying made all the others cry too. I stuck it out though and she is doing a lot better now. It took a few months but I finally got her to nap without any problems. The only problem that remains is getting her to stay asleep during her nap. She doesn't wake up to sound or me walking in to check on her, but she does wake up to something. (I just don't know what). She wakes up after 20 minutes. At first, I thought that was all the sleep she needed, so I'd let her come out and play a quiet game with me. This would only result in her being extremely tired toward the end of the day. (when she is tired, she cries and sticks to me even more than she already does). In the last 2 months, I've been getting her to stay in her cot and to go back to sleep. It requires a lot of reminding. Sometimes I have to take away her stuffy, her blanket, her pillow...etc... If she does end up napping more during our nap period, she wakes up a very happy and different girl than she was in the morning. I only get to see her good side in the last hour that she is here. She is such a happy and playful little girl in that last hour. Before this, she is whiny and cries about everything. Any advice? I don't want to terminate her contract because I adore her very much. I am determined to make something work. I need to figure something out quick as I will need her nap area to become a shared nap area.

Now I have an 11 month old and her 4 year old brother that just started here 2 weeks ago. The 11 month old is very easy to care for when I don't have any other children. My youngest son is just over a year and they follow eachother around. It is so cute! I've never had this baby during nap time, and I am dreading it. The first week she was here, she came without her brother. She was here for 3 days and only for 2 hours, as her mom was still on maternity leave and wanted to test her out first. This week, she and her brother came. Their mother is back to work and had promised me that I would have 15-20hrs per week with her children. Last week, I had 4hrs. I didn't even have time to do anything fun with them as they were dropped off around 2pm and picked up just before 4pm. When they get here, it is still nap time for the others so we cannot do anything loud. I allow the 4 year old to play quietly with the train set and the baby crawls around and plays with toys in the living room. Then, I have to put her in a playpen so that she is safe while I get the other children up around 2:30pm. I give everyone a snack around that time. It is usually 3 or 3:15 by the time snacks are done. 3:15 is when my pickups begin. By the time the first wave of pickups is done, I only have 15 minutes left with these two. I hope their mother didn't expect me to do an activity with them. No time! I am very disappointed in the lack of hours and am hoping that they will be here more next week. They are taking up 2 daycare spaces that I could have filled with two other children. I am giving them until September for the hours to pick up. If I do not have more hours by then, I will have no choice but to let them go. I will give a warning first. My other issue with the 11 month old is that she needs to be held when she is tired. She will not go to sleep in the playpen. She needs to be held and sang to. Her mom was very sure that she would easily go to sleep, and that she may only need her paci and a light blanket or stuffie to cuddle. Is she too young to let her cry it out for a bit? If so, I need to find another nap area to place her in. So far, she hasn't even been here for nap times, so I guess I don't have to worry about that right now.

My 3rd problem is with my own 1 year old. He currently has a shared room with our oldest 4 yo son. My 4yo son can't sleep in there because our 1yo doesn't sleep sound enough. He wakes up to everything. He even hears us moving around in our beds. I've put a fan on to drown out other noises, and he still can't sleep with our 4yo in there. We've also allowed our 4yo to sleep in our room for too long, so it would require sleep training him to sleep in his own bed, in his own room. (which he also cannot do if his little brother is screaming and crying. Our 1yo also will not nap or sleep anywhere but in his crib. So....At nap time, our 1yo is in a nice big room all to himself. I have one dc kid who can sleep in there because we put him to sleep before our 1yo son and make the room dark. Our 1yo goes in and cries his head off for 15-20 minutes before he goes to sleep. This does not wake the dc kid. Thank God! lol. So far, he is the only dc kid who can share a nap area with my 1yo. The other nap room is our toy room. I currently have my 2.5yo dc kid sleep in there on a cot. I can fit another playpen in there, but I am afraid that with all the crying and waking up that she does, the other one that would be placed in there won't get a very good nap. I could put the 2.5yo in my living room, but my 4yo son plays quietly or watches a movie in there. He can't have anyone around to play quietly. The second he sees someone, he is trying to get them to play. Once he goes to school in the fall, it will be easier. lol. My dining room has room for 1 playpen, if needed...but it has to be quiet in the whole house for the one that gets stuck in there. I have very limited space in my home. Spaces I thought that I would be able to use, I've learned that I can't. Should I maybe try to get my own 1yo to learn how to nap in a playpen? If I do this, it would free up the extra large room he is currently in for other children to have their daytime naps. I don't know that it will be successful though. My son has never ever, not even as a baby, slept anywhere but in his bassinet or crib. He has never been one to fall asleep in our arms or in the car for a car ride. And to fall asleep in his crib, it has to be pitch dark and there cannot be any noise or people in there. lol

My fourth problem is finding people to fill my spots. It seems there is always something working against me. A lot of people approached me before I was ready to take in children. (My daycare officially opened in July, even though I have been caring for two children since Feb and March.). I figured I'd still have a lot of people looking by the time I was ready to take children in. I started advertising in May for July openings. I interviewed for 3 families in June. One family already had a sitter and were thinking of switching to be closer to work. They decided to keep their current sitter as they didn't want their children to start over. The 2nd family I interviewed decided to go with a daycare closer to their home. The third family chose me. Other than that, I've had many people call me, schedule an interview and not show up for the interview! Even after confirming the night before...they would not show up! Last week, I missed my son's soccer game because of a no-show! All of these no-shows have made me step back and stop advertising. I no longer receive calls, but I honestly don't even want the stress of it...especially if it is for nothing.

My 5th problem...or question. :) How many pages are in your Parent Handbook? Mine is 8 pages. Is that too long? I still don't feel like I've covered everything. My Handbook not only lists my policies and procedures, but I also list the items they need to provide me with. I have a chart in there that shows how many hours of sleep a child needs based on their age...etc... I cover all...or at least...almost all my bases. I still feel like I need to cover more. I am always making changes because I never feel like it is good enough. Sometimes I make changes because I feel like I am too 'strict'. The people around here don't seem to respond well to rules. Knowing that, I am still not a fan of being walked all over. That is one of the reasons I left the work place to stay home.

Wow! Ok, the 2.5 year old girl is manipulating you and I suspect she gets her way with Mom & Dad all the time too. Cut it off and put your foot down and let her know how things are going to be from now on, she stays in her seat at mealtime and don't worry she will eat if she's hungry, she stays on her cot the entire naptime quietly, etc. No special circumstances for her any more. Use a stern face and a stern voice, be tough. It may take a few weeks or months but it will pay off.

Tell the Mom with the next two children that they must arrive by 9am and be picked up after 3pm. That's in my contract and I charge full day fees for that. I have a schedule to maintain and I deserve my break at naptime to recharge my batteries. Are you even getting a break at all during the day? It doesn't sound like it. With all our work after the children leave we are working 12 hour days or longer, so put your foot down there too. These clients are going to BURN YOU OUT!

If your own children want to sleep in their own beds I would definitely arrange things so that happens. Again, be stern and shush them and it will take some time to get them to realize you are not backing down, but it will be worth it in the long run.

The no shows - Do you have a thorough prescreening on the phone or by email? Ask all the hard questions and weed people out before investing your time in an appointment. You are obviously a very busy woman and your time is valuable. Also, do you actually call yourself a 'sitter'? Or are you a home daycare provider? Because there is a world of difference. We home daycare providers have contracts, schedules, and because we are self-employed we are businesswomen who make the rules for our services. Are these people realizing that you are not confident in your abilities and your business? Take a hard look at all of that.

I have 2 pages that are the legal part of the contract and 6 pages of policies and I make the parents initial every paragraph to show me that they have read it and 2 pages of medical information in case of emergency and that's all I have. I like to keep things simple and uncomplicated because I believe the parents will remember if there is LESS to remember. I would be happy to email my contract to you if you pm your email to me. Always happy to help someone new because I was in your shoes when I started.

Lastly, there are so many problems that I didn't even address that I saw in your post. But it all boils down to this - TAKE CHARGE OF ALL OF IT, NOW!!!

You've helped more than you'll ever know. lol. I will PM you my E-mail address. I have never seen anyone else's policies handbook. This will help me tremendously with my layout and help me eliminate the things that are not important to have in there.

I would love to tell my families that they must drop off before 9 and pickup after 3, but for most it is impossible. That being said, I don't think it is unreasonable for me to tell them that they must drop off by 12:30pm if they are part-time (or even 12pm would be better). I need that time to settle them all in. I'd much prefer them to be there the whole day so that they go through the same routine as all the others, but I have yet to find a family that needs care for the whole day. I have a lot of competition, and I am afraid to make too many demands. Most of my competition will take part-time children without any problems.

You are right. I do not get a break. The only days that I do get a break are when the 2.5yo girl is not here. (which is usually 2-3x per week). With the 2 others that have started here too, I will no longer have breaks. :( Once the oldest of the two children goes to school in the fall, I am going to tell the parents that I need them to start bringing their daughter for full days or at least a full half-day. They will also need to get her on my schedule.

There is no reason why the 2.5 yr old can't sit at the table by herself and eat .... Put her there everytine and be firm and eventually she will get it ... She might not eat a few times but she will eventually realize if she is Hungary and wants to eat this is the way it's going to be done. Talk to the parents and let them know that you can't possibly have her sitting on your ones while she eats and encourage them to make sure she is sitting in her own chair at home for meal times.
There is also no reason why you shouldn't have some break during the day ... Even school age children can rest in the afternoon ... They can lay on the couch with a book or watching tv... Let them know they are not to move from that spot or the tv or book will not be an option .... You just gave to set the rules and stick by them..... I don't allow drop off or pick up during quiet time .... So let the families know that mid afternoon drop off is too disruptive and they need to be there for 12 (or what ever is acceptable to you) gives you a chance to get them settled in and down for naps .as for waking up during nap.... I have one that started with me at 22months and had no schedule at home and climbed out of playpens ... So everytine he climbed out I went in and said no climbing out and I would put him back .. I kept doing it over and over and finally he stayed in ge also didn't sleep very long so I would go in and say it's bit time to get up yet go back to sleep or lay quietly....now if he wakes uphe just lays quietly until I get him .... But u was firm and he knew I meant it. Filling spots is hard the first year but it will come. Good luck

She is placed at the table every single time. She refuses to eat so I tell her she has to stay there until everyone is done eating. She sits there and pouts and cries, and STILL gets off the seat to come ask me random questions. Everytime she gets off the chair, I lead her back to the table and make her sit down. Maybe it time to talk to her mom about this. I've always found that once I've spoken to mom, I get a better understanding about her behaviour and usually come up with a solution to work with here and to suggest to mom. Her mom has been wonderful with every other suggestion I've made. The thing is that this little girl has been here since the end of March and she STILL has not learned that what I say is what goes. At least, she stays in her sleep area....even if she cries most of the time in there. ugh.

I am making a plan to tell the new dc parents that their children must be dropped off by 12pm. I am going to see what the hours are like this week and will give them a notice by the end of the week. Right now, the income I gain from them makes no impact whatsoever. I am feeding them snack even if they are only here for 2hrs. Is there any way that I can write that children in my care for 3hrs get a snack. Children in my care for at least 5hrs get lunch. What is fair? lol

If the 2.5 yr old is getting off the chair thrn put her in a booster seat with a seat belt so she can't get out I think if you use a firm voice and stay consistent she'll get it ..... If she gets the same reaction from you every time she will give in. I only have full time children and I wouldnt accept a child for two hours especially during nap time if they are not napping they would gave to cone and pay for half days so I can't help you with that one.

If the child isn't very big you might have success putting her into a highchair - with belt and tray. That may provide her the cuddling security she likes. It may very well be that she is still in a high chair at home. She is a bit big for sitting on the parent's lap for eating so not sure how that is working.

I also would stay close at mealtimes so she sees you in her line of vision but not with her.

I think that she is just given the freedom to eat wherever she wants at home. She doesn't like to be told not to do something or to do something she doesn't want to do. I think I will have to try putting her in a booster with a seat belt. She was doing very well before she went on vacation for 2 weeks. Now, it's like she doesn't remember the rules here....no matter how many times I remind her.

The last time I tried putting her in the highchair, she looked insulted and refused to eat anything. Then, she cried the rest of the day for her mom. I must have hurt her feelings. lol I didn't bother trying it again. I will do the booster though.

Crayola kiddies, I really don't want to have these 2hr/per day part-time kids. I mean, the kids are ok...the hours aren't. I was promised more. This week they are coming just before 1pm. My plan is to follow my daycare routine and see how it goes. I will put the baby in a playpen for a nap. I know that I will have to let her cry it out. I will make sure all her needs are met first, then she just needs to learn to sleep at that time. The older brother will have to either relax quietly in the living room or watch a movie. No exceptions. If this does not work out, they will have to go. For now, they are providing me with a little more income.....income that I otherwise may not be able to make up for.

YuP sometimes some income is better then no income : )
When I first started I had a client with rotating shifts 1-4 days a week and every week was different so took up a full time spot .... We made a deal that they paid my part time rate for only the days they were here plus all stat days regardless if it was a regularly scheduled day as well as my full vacation days .....I was glad for the money at the time but when they had to take her out due to mom going on sick leave I was not disappointed . So I hear ya but I would still try to get the parents to drop off a little earlier

FreshPrincess, my grandson was the first child in my daycare and since my daughter is a single Mom she and her son would just eat in the living room and kind of graze their meals. But he learned that my rules were strict to keep our schedules on time and mealtimes meant that he sat in one place and ate so we could get onto our next adventure. It didn't take long. My grandson is a very stubborn little guy and if he can do it this little girl will learn too.

Today, I decided that I was going to put her in a booster with a safety belt. Before I could tell her that we were going to do that, she asked me to be placed in one. lol. That made my job easier. She seemed happier and ate for the first time in a long time....I mean REALLY ate! Maybe she just wasn't comfortable sitting at a big table without a booster. Mom said that she does not use a booster at home. Oh well, it worked today. AND....as far as her disruptive napping... Wait! I need to tell you a little bit about my 4 year old son first.

My 4 year old son LOVES that I have a daycare. He loves babies and children. He loves the routien, the activities...etc.. He has gotten to the point where he knows what happens after what. He knows what punishments I use for different inappropriate behaviours...etc.. He has heard me tell my 2.5 dc child to go back to sleep when she wakes up crying after 20 minutes. So....that being said, here is the rest of my story about nap time today:

Today was my dream nap time!! All the children went to sleep without much of a fuss...even my own 1 year old teething son. lol. The 2 year old boy whined a little bit off and on, but I think he just felt lonely. My 2.5 year old dc girl went to sleep without a fuss. I did not hear a peep from her at all. My son must have because I heard him say in a very firm tone: "Close your eyes and go back to sleep, <name>.". Then, I didn't hear anything from any of them until 2:45pm. lol. I got so much done and had time just for me. I absolutely feel great today because of it. I am usually feeling quite frazzled by the end of the day. lol.

Now, I am afraid for what tomorrow has in store for me with an 11 month old and 4 year old arriving just after nap time has begun. I hired a teenager that I know well to assist me for 2hrs tomorrow, so that the 4 year olds can just go play outside while I nap-train the 11 month old. I am scared! :|

Ok...the 2.5 year old first: I have a nephew who is the VERY same way. I have been doing daycare for a long time and had some kids that are similar but never this bad. If he wasnt family I think I would have thrown in the towel, so "kudos" to you for sticking it out. I know she is prbly the cutest little thing in the world, but to me it sounds like she might know it. :) is her mom a stay home mommy? or just a "cottler" or perhaps just the oposite? maybe she has separation issues, because mom works too much? hmmmm. either way, you need to "re-build" this sweet girl from the ground up, and it will take alot of patience and quite a bit of time. you need to inch her naps longer and longer, by reminding her to go back to sleep or just letting her cry it out, until she realizes she has no choice. you have to leave her at the table and get her to eat alone, its just crazy to think she will only eat while on your lap. sounds like she want ALOT of attention ALL DAY LONG!!!! obviously you know whats good for her. maybe she needs an extra nap in the afternoon? The one thing I have kearned about little ones like this is: you cant allow them to manipulate your day, you have to do the oposite....you have to manipulate their wants to YOUR day. in the end EVERYONE will be happier, including the child. bottom line though....the parents have to be willing to work with you, this includes pos changing the way they are doing things at home, sounds to me she gets what she wants a little too much! :)

ha ha ....too cute about your son! they really do learn early.:laugh: