Dealing with eating habbits

I've noticed with one of my daycare kids they won't eat...anything! but will ask throughout the day for cookies and juice. A lot of times with lunch I serve a side of veggies and a dip they can dip along with their main meal. The child will put a piece of food generally a veggie in their mouth behind their teeth and not chew, not eat anything else and not swallow. Just sit there all lunch that way. I'm not sure what to do. After about 45 mins. I noticed the food was still stuffed into their cheek I made them spit it out. I figure they could end up chocking! I'm pretty sure there is eating issues at home when they get chips and cookies on command. Child is almost 4 and 24lbs!! I'm not sure what to do anymore. Do I just let them sit there with no food, or try to help??

Dear Lord you have just discribed my 3yr old at 24lbs to the "T"......she also 'chipmunks' the food or will take two bites and hide it between her front teeth & lip. She will also sit there all day without eating.

In my case I KNOW mom gives her kraft dinner & mcdonalds on command (sigh)

I've tried the whole 45min, you don't finish than you don't eat....hoping that they'll get the hint and be hungry enough to eat something...NOPE. Six months in and she hasn't changed.

You must talk to the parents and find out what happens at home. I have some very picky eaters too and one little girl will only eat about 3 veggies, but thankfully she eats tons of fruit and loves all the meats and proteins and bread items I serve. But the Mom and I talk all the time when we have a success like the day she ate a few carrot sticks at home which was new or the day she ate a celery stick for me which was new.

Then I have a little boy who won't eat foods that are combined like spaghetti or chili and he even gags when I cook things together in the crock pot even though I separate out the meat, carrots and potatoes when I put it on his plate. But I warn the Mom when I'm making a crockpot meal and she talks to him the night before about trying everything on his plate.

The parents have to help you and give you tips and as you get to know the children hopefully you can talk them into a new thing by making it fun in some way, but not always. But you are not alone with this problem.

oh my! I feel for you.......:) I had a little guy who ate a TERRIBLE diet at home, junk,junk,junk, when he came to my house he wouldnt eat any of my food, he was only coming one day a week so I could understand his lack of comfort and not being used to the foods i served, so I tried to let it go for a long time. But he too, would hold his food in his mouth, he was a really quiet child so would think nothing of it if he didnt speak and get down from the table for nap (4 yrs old) he would go to bed and sometimes begin screaming and crying after like 20 min, I would go in to check on him, he would have a MOUTH FULL of food and be spitting it all down his chin crying. Drove me mad, other times he would hold food in his mouth for upwars af near hour at the table (very stubborn) I would tell him if he chewed and swallowed the one mouthful he could leave the table...NOPE! would sit there all day if I let him, so would have him spit out in toilet and go eight to bed. He did have some other delays, was in peah therapy bcause he didnt talk until after 4 and was not potty trained until 4.5. I dont have much to tell you but good luck, if your is anything like this one, you will need a lot of luck. His parents asked me to take him full time, I came right out and said.."I couldnt do that with his best quality of care put first" he wouldnt eat for me and seemed to have emotional issues attached. Not my specialty! I dont do special needs well at all.

I had one of these too!!
3 yrs old and can't be 20 lbs. She would sit at the table and ask for fruit loops or "Happy Donalds" instead of what I served. At first I tried the "When you eat you can go play!" But she didn't care. She'd be happy to sit there all day if it meant she didn't have to eat so I stopped trying! She would literally go ALL day without eating a single bite then Mom would pick her up and say "OH poor thing! Want to go to McDonalds???" It was infuriating but mom admitted that she doesn't havethe patience or will to "make" her eat healthy. UGH. I completely stopped pushing her, then one day after months of ignoring her at the table...she started to take small nibbles of things. Sometimes she would throw huge gagging fits but would literally stop if I told her to...it was an eating game to her. Now she eats EVERYTHING. Mind you, she is super slow, and still takes super tiny bites but she's eating!!! Success!!! Sometimes, it becomes such a power struggle in their life that there is more success when there's no one to fight with! And no one who is going to just give in! Good luck!!

Doesnt that just getyou, when a parent looks at their kid and says, you want to go to mcdonalds? or Mommy has something special in the car! kid: is it mcdonalds? AAAHHHHH! to me I'm like the opposite of how they view it, yuck mcdonalds!?

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Originally Posted by Lou

I had one of these too!!
3 yrs old and can't be 20 lbs. She would sit at the table and ask for fruit loops or "Happy Donalds" instead of what I served. At first I tried the "When you eat you can go play!" But she didn't care. She'd be happy to sit there all day if it meant she didn't have to eat so I stopped trying! She would literally go ALL day without eating a single bite then Mom would pick her up and say "OH poor thing! Want to go to McDonalds???" It was infuriating but mom admitted that she doesn't havethe patience or will to "make" her eat healthy.

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E.X.A.C.T.L.Y. what happens here and I get soooooo mad!!!!!! I mean exactly!!!!!

I agree you need to talk to the parents about what is happening at home around food and what their 'goals' are for their child ~ if they are happy to serve her resteraunt style on demand crap food than you are going to have very little success at encouraging her to eat 'healthy'.

One of the best speakers I ever heard on nutrition shared the following advice 'our role as caregivers is to ensure that children have regular access to HEALTHY food options throughout the day and to set clear and consistent 'rules and expectations' for while at the table (aka safe eating, manners, no standing on the chair or whatever other 'etiquette' rules one might have) .... it is the child's role to choose if and how much of that food they eat .... if healthy food is the ONLY option being presented to children when they get hungry enough they WILL eat.

It always baffles my mind the amount of 'picky food' syndrome we have in North America and how many parents cater to this in their children ~ we have this problem because we ALLOW it and buy into it and let children dictate what they 'want' to eat verses what they NEED to eat to be healthy .... honestly do you think a 2 year old in Africa turns his nose up at the moldy rice he is offered and says 'I am not eating that ~ I want chicken nuggets' ... honestly our children need to learn that they are LUCKY to have access to healthy foods and have appreciation for them :rolleyes:

I can't give a lot of advice, but I did just read a thing Nestle sent me about problem eaters. They say that if they're not eating, 15 minutes MAX. That children who DO eat shouldn't take more than 20 minutes to eat, that's the norm time for most kids that eat normally. If a child is refusing to eat, making them sit there for longer than 15-20 minutes is actually feeding into it. That if they haven't eaten anything after 15 minutes, remove them from the table. Stop give her milk and juice. Only feed give her water at intervals in the day (everything is scheduled here because I have 4 kids who still drink out of sippie cups and pass them back and forth) They get water with their first snack, milk half way through their lunch and water at second snack (and I bring water outside with me and they only get if they ask for it. I will give them the cup if they haven't drank, but they're not allowed to take it with them). She should only be allowed to eat what everyone else is eating, and if she doesn't want to, tough. My 16 month old went through a phaze where he wouldn't eat, and it WAS problems at home, like you said. He was drinking upwards of 30 oz of milk a day! I actually just sent home a letter explaining how detrimental to his health this could be and I took away his milk. He is only allowed to have milk once a day and not until he's finished 3/4 of his meal. It took a few weeks, but he quickly caught on. Now he eats like a champ! I am amazed at his progress! It's not something that you are going to be able to fix alone. She will eventually understand that what works at home doesn't work at daycare but you have to stop offering her options. There are no options and if she doesn't want to eat, then she doesn't eat. There is no sense in fighting it because you won't. Guaranteed.

Good luck!!

completely agree with reggio. My Grama always said things like "you'll eat when your hungry" or "you wont starve if you miss one meal".......those are words of wisdom. It falls between a few things in my house: 1) I know what is healthy, I offer it and nothing else. 2) you eat what you are given (i.e. we have noodles and veggies you eat noodles and veggies. no "special requests) 3)if you choose not to eat....thats your problem, it wont kill you to go hungry.

the only thing that "erks" me more than anything else, is that bratty kid that refuses to eat ALL day long, when the Mother picks up, the kid gives then the "all too practiced" sob about being hungry (whine) and the Mother says, oh hunny I'll get you something when we get home. AAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
By then you just have to grin and consider, "I did my part" now the parent can screw it all up!!!!

So true Kidlove

There always seems to be 'one' in the group who tries to control their environment around food issues ~ but it does not work here.

In my home the children get to help plan the next weeks menu ~ so they do get a 'voice' in the menu planning and there is at least one snack, lunch and pm snack that they 'chose' in a given week ... however they have to choose a 'balanced plate' from a food group photos on my computer so it is helping them to learn to choose healthy options as well as instilling lessons on 'balanced eating' through hands on conversations that are NOT at meal time so more likely to be heard and retained.

At meal time everyone has to come keep each other company at the table ~ you do not have to eat but you do have to join us and be nice company while you are there ... having the picky eater 'seeing' others eating and enjoying the meal can be helpful in my experience at encouraging them to 'try' things that peers are eating ~ it takes away the 'fear' of different foods.

The first serving of foods is a 'small' portion of everything being served. If you want 'seconds' your plate must be empty first of that initial serving otherwise you are not truly 'hungry' for more food you are just 'wanting' more of one thing cause it is yummy and there is a difference ... IMO this encourages kids to not fill up on 'one thing' that is more palatable but eat the balanced plate and at least 'try' the thing they might not 'like' cause it is not an overpowering serving to finish ~ just three peas or whatever ... the more they try new things the more likely their palate will accept them the next time and overtime they will come to 'like' them.

I also equate healthy eating to other things children have challenges with specially when they are 'picky' eaters ... so when they want to climb to the top of the climber like the big kids I remind them 'that's what our healthy food helps us do ~ healthy food builds big muscles so we have energy to get that high' .... this has worked wonders on my most recent picky eater who joined me at 3 and was very 'frail' with no muscle tone and could not keep up with the other kids and was getting frustrated by that ~ she has since started eating meat and other things both here and at home ~ her parents have been amazed at her meal transformation .... they took her to McDonalds the other day and she said to them 'Reggio says we need to eat something healthy with this ~ I need a veggie and fruit to make it balanced so I grow big muscles ~ did you pack some mom?' ... the mother was floored cause this is a kid who previous only ate nuggets and fries or pizza with nothing on it and so forth.

BTW yes I do bring them to restaurants for a treat but the kids know I PACK additional fresh veggies and fruit from home to 'balance' the treat because most restaurants do not offer 'balanced' meals for children with their kids meals and this is something I instill even when having a 'treat' or 'celebration' that we still need to make healthy choices cause lets face it in our society were are always 'celebrating' something so best to teach them young that you can still celebrate and 'eat healthy choices' ;)

perfectly put reggio. that is exactly how I do it here too!!! I always focus the "if you eat all your veggies you will be big a strong" toward those "picky" eaters through out the days, during non meal time as well. Nothing better than seeing that kid who refused to eat the green beans, try soooo hard at the lunch table to choke them down because he wants so badly to grow "big and Strong" We also have the "whats good for you" chat at the table as well. It usually comes up when I serve apples for snack and someone asks for crackers instead. Then I start the chat..."are apples good for you?" they say yes, then we go down the line I ask them what else is good for you? "is mcdonalds good for you?" I train them to say no!!!! ha ha by a few weeks in to a child being with me they have ALL the right answers, and then "share" them at home, when mom gives them an unhealthy snack it gets reported back the next week, that ________ said this snack isnt good for me!!!! ha ha ha I love it. I love my little sponges.!!!!! :) :)

Wow ~ I have never 'fed' a child over 15-16 months and even than it was only because they 'arrived' to me not having learned to self feed and within a couple weeks of seeing everyone else doing it they were all over doing it themselves!

THREE and still expecting to be spoon fed food that is some learned helplessness going on there cause by that age absense of any confirmed 'special need' a child should be capable of feeding themselves with a fork, spoon and even 'buttering' things with a butter knife????

I think I would have to be IN that situation to know how I would handle it but my gut is NO I would be spoon feeding a child of that age in order to get them to eat ~ I would be placing the food in front of them, reminding them they are strong capable child so have at er and if they choose to just sit there I would assume they are not hungry ... honestly a 3 year old should have the fine motor control to pick up slippery things like mango and banana and so forth regardless.

If you think it is truly a 'lack of skill' I would be reinforcing fine motor activities at 'non meal times' to support the pincher grasp so that they can feed themselves ~ by THREE that should be everyones goal both at home and in the program and I would be discussing this with the client via a Nippising or other 'guiding resource' that indicates developmental 'red flags' for children!

Agreed, it sounds like this child has a lot of eating quirks, but at 3 he or she should be feeding themselves entirely. My 3 yrs olds are completely able to use a fork and spoon properly and drink out of regular cups. I have a 2 yrs old who tries to get me to feed him every single day, but I always say "no way jose!", put the fork in his hand and guide him towards the food.

Frustrating! I have that issue with my sister. She has been too "tired" since my niece was born (she is 13 years old now) to cook real meals or be bothered to serve up healthy meals. My sister is obese (over 300 pounds) and doesn't know much about nutrition. They lived on fast food, chocolate bars, chips, chicken nugget and fries. Whenever I went to visit, I couldn't help but notice that they didnt have any fruits or veggies in their fridge. I tried over and over again to teach my sister about nutrition. I talked, and talked, and talked! But in the end, my sister preferred to take the easy way out and stick with junk food. My niece is overweight and gaining fast, but my sister seems to think that instant soup noodles and pasta are good food choices for her daughter!

I have a two year old that freaks out and get mad at me if i try to spoon feed (occasionally i try to spoon feed her to speed her up when we need to leave the house!)She is perfectly capable of using the spoon by herself to eat and she know it!