Daycare vs personal family time

Hello everyone

in the past couple of weeks ive been thinking on going back to work in a daycare. I find my husband, son, and daughter are really starting to hate the fact that there are kids everywhere.

I thought maybe change my hours. Right now my hours are from 630am to 630pm. I find that i dont have time for we can have our family time because my last kids leaves at 630 and our dinner is late bath and bed are delayed and so on.

Second i find that my husband comes home from work and hes such in a grumpy mood because there are kids all over that i feel bad that im watching kids at home.

Then its also the group of kids i have i have a 5yr old who will be going to school full time, his brother who is 22months, 2yr old,another 22month old and then my son who is 6 and as well in school all day and three yr old. The two brothers have annoyed me all summer the older one has been rough with toys and keeps breaking stuff. All he wants to do most of the time is watch tv or play viedeo games the younger one touches every thing and jumps on my couch. He is also very agressive hitting biting, pulling hair as well as screaming at the top of his lungs when we go places.

I feel that are food bill is so much that we can keep up with our utils bills and we end up eating poorly ourselves processed foods. I thought telling parents to bring lunches. Or simply just rasie the price in care.

I also thought fixing up the basement to have the playroom down stairs so we dont have to see it at the end of the day. Right now its in the living room and i feel we have no room in our house toys are EVERYWHERE! The problem is that our basement semi finish and my husband feels that we shouldnt fix it because we rent its not ours.

I just dont know what to do. I feel if i do go back to work everyone will be happy but then id be paying for daycare. And if i stay home no one will be happy.:(
I ju

OOOOOOHHHH! I have been there!!!!! Feel for you so much! First of all, you need to decide what you want to do! and what is the BEST choice for your family. In my case, although my husband hated the daycare being in the house and the kids "running" our personal space from sun up to sun down, I also knew....it was the BEST choice for me and for our kids! I could stay home and take care of home and I could stay home with my kids. (thats what I wanted and nothing would change that) however, I had to find a way to make it work for the others in the fam too. The first thing I really think you need to do is, shorten your day, I started at 6am-6:30pm when I opened....you will burn out fast that way! YOU MAY BE ALOT LIKE ME, A PEOPLE PLEASER! you want to please everyone and will have a hard time trying because they all need something different. Lower your hours, cut back on "nasty" kids....they will only make things tough for you, and that will reflect on your personal family life as well. Consider moving a playroom downstairs, if not too expensive....its a great idea. even if you use the upstairs all day and about an hour before your hubby is to get home, have the house clean and tidy, throw some dinner in the oven and then go sown to the playroom for the last bit of the day until pickup. that way when hubby gets home he has his own space and supper is on the way, house is clean and wife is making money...he will have nothing to complain about. Dont give up on what you want just because others arent satisfied, if in home care is what you want...find a way to make it work!!!! Good Luck!

consider asking parents to pack the kids lunches, that will help with cost and be WAY easier on you. thats what centers in my area do. Nothing wrong with it! :)

That's a tough one. It's a really hard job... almost impossible... if you don't have the support of your family to do it. I think your hours are too long. I am only open until 5:30 and even that's because my husband doesn't get home until 6pm. You really have to be in a financial position to be able to suddenly change hours.

I would not invest in the basement set up until you know you're going to continue. I don't think that's the solution and may just add extra stress while getting it set up.

I don't have trouble with my food bill. You just have to plan well per meal and cost out each meal. I sometimes will search out other providers web sites and steal some basic ideas when I'm feeling a little stale. LOL

i think the base of your problem is your hours... your feeling burnt out and it's the last week of the summer so the kids are driving you nuts! I know I'm ready for school to start.

Your hours alone are going to burn you out!! It sounds like your on the fast tract if you keep going the way you are. I keep saying in my threads and comments about burn out but, I've met a few providers who shared their stories with me about burning out. Too many hours and trying to do it all. We can still give 100% to the daycare kids in our care and our selves and our own families which in the end, will make us better providers by not being so stressed out.
You should weight the pros and cons to going back to work in a center and or keeping your home daycare open and do what is best for you and your family.
I think if you made some adjustments to your daycare, you may find things become less hectic. Change your hours would be number one. You can serve healthy foods without breaking the bank ~ the ladies have a thread in daycare bear where there are some great ideas that aren't going to break the bank. You need to stay competitive in your area for what you charge....are you? If you can put your daycare in one spot in your home- DO IT! Not everyone has the set up but it sounds like you do!! We bought our house with the daycare in mind to keep it a part from the rest of the house ( our last house we used our front hall and dining room which we all had to walk through to get to the rest of the house ) What a difference with it in one area of our home. You can walk away from it if you need to and come back to clean up when you have time at night!! The rest of our home is kid free and clean- except our own :laugh: My husband can walk through out our home without kids under his feet.
It may be tough to tell your current families that your changing your hours but, don't forget that if they had to pull their little one out if they lost a job/moved and or found cheaper care.....they won't be keeping their little one in your care as it's not a fit for them anymore. The way things are going for you, isn't a fit anymore for you. Keep in mind that your making changes to not only better your family but yourself which in return will make you a better provider.

Good luck!!

I agree with jec - CHANGE YOUR HOURS! I would NOT do that! My hours are 7:30-5pm but most days I work from 8am-4:40ish. There is so much to do at the end of the day too that we work very long days, but my clients are allowed a 9 hour day max within my hours of business and if they exceed a 9 hour day they pay $5/half hour overtime fees. You must be feeling burned out. I don't even have to go into anything else, it's obvious to me that you need to start interviewing and find clients who fit into a much shorter day for you.

Yes I agree with the other ladies ...your hours are too long ...if you can move some toys downstairs and just arrange them in centers like doll center, block/Lego center, kitchen center, dress up center or whatever you have and spend a majority of your day down there and it helps to keep the rest of the house clean , as well kids are heading back to school next week so that will help ... I am feeling a little burnt out myself cause I have my two school age kids home all summer and it has been really hectic cause the older kids are doing things that are not appropriate for the you her ones and I'm tired of saying we don't do that and then having to explain why over and over and trying to keep them quiet during nap time .... So I think once school goes back it will be a bit easier plus you have to take control and set rules and stick by them .... Why is this child jumping on your couch ??? He is old enough to know better .. Put a stop to it ... Discipline !!!
As for food when I make dinner I just make extra and serve it for lunch the next day ... So things like spaghetti, shepards pie, stew, or if I make chicken I can make a chicken fried rice the next day with lots of veges in it,or chicken sandwiches , I also do homemade pizza, scrambled eggs, omlettes, grilled cheese sandwiches (actually any kind of sandwich are favs with my crew) hamburgers, or deli plates ( meat, cheese, fruit, veges, crackers or mini pitas), and fish. Lunches shouldn't break the bank. I serve milk with lunch and water the rest of the day. Give small portions and if they eat everything offer seconds.
Try to scale back your hours so you can finish around five or 5:15, and prep your diner while the kids are napping so that when the last child leaves dinner is not far off then you have your evenings for family. I'm in Ottawa and my hours are 6:45 -5 and I'm trying to back my hours up to 4:30 cause I'm tired at the end of the day and I still have to do evening activities with my three small kids and drive a teenager to and from work as hubby works evenings.
Working from home is supposed to enhance your life by allowing you to earn an income while still being there for your children, not make it worse. Maybe see what others are charging around you and maybe your rates are too low. Good luck

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

Yes I agree with the other ladies ...your hours are too long ...if you can move some toys downstairs and just arrange them in centers like doll center, block/Lego center, kitchen center, dress up center or whatever you have and spend a majority of your day down there and it helps to keep the rest of the house clean , as well kids are heading back to school next week so that will help ... I am feeling a little burnt out myself cause I have my two school age kids home all summer and it has been really hectic cause the older kids are doing things that are not appropriate for the you her ones and I'm tired of saying we don't do that and then having to explain why over and over and trying to keep them quiet during nap time .... So I think once school goes back it will be a bit easier plus you have to take control and set rules and stick by them .... Why is this child jumping on your couch ??? He is old enough to know better .. Put a stop to it ... Discipline !!!
As for food when I make dinner I just make extra and serve it for lunch the next day ... So things like spaghetti, shepards pie, stew, or if I make chicken I can make a chicken fried rice the next day with lots of veges in it,or chicken sandwiches , I also do homemade pizza, scrambled eggs, omlettes, grilled cheese sandwiches (actually any kind of sandwich are favs with my crew) hamburgers, or deli plates ( meat, cheese, fruit, veges, crackers or mini pitas), and fish. Lunches shouldn't break the bank. I serve milk with lunch and water the rest of the day. Give small portions and if they eat everything offer seconds.
Try to scale back your hours so you can finish around five or 5:15, and prep your diner while the kids are napping so that when the last child leaves dinner is not far off then you have your evenings for family. I'm in Ottawa and my hours are 6:45 -5 and I'm trying to back my hours up to 4:30 cause I'm tired at the end of the day and I still have to do evening activities with my three small kids and drive a teenager to and from work as hubby works evenings.
Working from home is supposed to enhance your life by allowing you to earn an income while still being there for your children, not make it worse. Maybe see what others are charging around you and maybe your rates are too low. Good luck

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Crayola Kiddes I think the younger brother runs the house at home and does whatever he wants because when i talked to mom about it she says that he jumps on the couch at home. shes put him on time out but it doesnt work. When he came from hoildays last week he jumped on the couch and he laughed at me. I noticed the past couple of days watching the two brothers play the older one starts it.
As for school starting "happy dance" one week!!!:D

I think once school starts it will be alot easier. my son and the older boy are very picky so i think with them at school all day the litte ones will eat better.

As for my hours i think im going to change it ill close at 5pm. im going to talk to my husband tonight about the playroom being changed to the basement.

there are tons and pros and cons for me to go back to work. Before i stop working I didnt drive so i ended up taking the bus to my sons daycare then to work lucky enough i had my work about two blocks from where i worked. so it wasnt that bad it was one bus. During my mat leave in 2009 I say this is going to way to hard to bus it with two kids and got my drivers L. So now that i have my drivers lic. I dont have to worry about it.
the cons is i wouldnt be able just to take days off like i would need it. Right now my daughter has speech lessions with First Words so im going to the childrens hospital on a weekly basis. My daughter also suffers from Febrile Seizures so im scared that the daycare provider will be so busy that she wont notice the signs of her going into one and what to do if she has one. so that scares me.

pros for me to do it at home would be that i would have to fork over gas and daycare fees. and that i can spend time with the my kids. I know my family would feel better if i make some changes. I will change my hours. so if i do 630- to 5pm My husband gets home between 4:30-5 depending on the traffic so closing at 5 would be ok.

If timeouts don't work then time to try something else .... Maybe together you and mom can come up with something and implement it together ...... Sorry but no kid would do something in my house that they know they are not supposed to do and then laugh at me..... Maybe the timeouts aren't long enough .... Sit the kid on the stairs or at the kitchen table with nothing to do but watch the other kids have fun and leave him there for double time or don't let him do what ever his favourite thing is ( fav toy, activity, movie time ). Then he would figure it out in a hurry.

I'm actually going to enjoy this last week as I'm on holidays ..... I'm so glad I took this week to spend with just my kids instead of wishing it away!

thats great you took hoildays before school starts I though of doing that after i booked my hoildays the second week of aug next yr ill take the last two weeks of august.
my new time out is a chair in the corner away from the choas it used to be on the other side of the gate but its defently not working he gets off he laughs he hits me if im near. so i put him on the chair away from the choas that will work. we were at the park this morning and he likes to run away towards the street so i put him on time out in my wagon and buckled him in he took a fit started hitting his head againist the wagon throwing hes shoes out of the wagon and screamed at the top of his lungs. i just ignored it and he sat there the rest of the time at the park (last 15mins) but he eventually stopped. next summer i have also though of not taking his brother or school age then we can have a set routine and nothing changes throughout the yr

He hits you???? Have you spoken to the parents about this? How old is this child ? 5? Someone needs to take control of this kid ... Soon .... It won't get better it will get worse

Also a lot of caregivers won't take the school age for that reason ....attitude !!!! They just aren't worth the stress that comes along with it.

Burn out is a huge issue in our field for sure!

I agree revisit your pros and cons list for doing this and see what 'cons' can be addressed by changing your hours, adding additional vacation or time off for family and so forth.

Create a pros and cons list for returing to work outside the workforce and see what 'cons' can be addressed.

Sit down with your family and get them to add to your lists .... than see which list is 'longer' and go from there as a FAMILY because as mentioned throughout the thread without the support of your family this is going to be way too stressful to enjoy doing!

Good luck on your choice!

Over the course of my career I have cut back my hours, restricted the age groups I am willing to take to be more 'balanced', added more personal / sick days to my contracts and so forth to continue to find the balance and passion in doing this!

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

He hits you???? Have you spoken to the parents about this? How old is this child ? 5? Someone needs to take control of this kid ... Soon .... It won't get better it will get worse

Also a lot of caregivers won't take the school age for that reason ....attitude !!!! They just aren't worth the stress that comes along with it.

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he is the 22month old the parents try there best they say. When i talked to her about the biting she seem to be stressed she said she hates this age.

OOOOOOH! it sounds like you have much more reason to stay home!!!!! you can make it work, I commend ANY Mom in this day and age who puts her kids first by either staying home and taking the cut in income to put the kids first or staying home to work make money for the family and raise her babies, your daughter needs you, no one can take care of any child better than a "GOOD" Mommy. (there are many "not good" Mommies out there) :) so stay home and make things work. I think going to the basement even toward the end of the day will really help with the hubby issue, I have been there for almost 10 years, my husband does not enjoy having people in and out and kids running a muck all day long in the house, so if yours is even a touch of mine, I think getting into a dif area will really help, and give your husband the respect he deserves, its his home also. :) Change your hours and VWALA! you just may have a recipe for happy day care living!!!!! good luck! :) :)

Wow, I know those hours would burn me out!! You could always cut back to part-time. I don't work Mondays because I am running my own kids to kindergarten and I clean/disinfect toys etc.. I also have another day throughout the week and I use that for appointments if need be or just spending time with my kiddo's. I don't do weekends and the kids need to be out of here no later than 430 and my day starts at 8. That way we have supper at a decent hour and I have time to tidy up before hubby gets home. I use my slow cooker for our supper on the days I keep kids so I'm not a total slave to the kitchen LOL!! after we transition to a new activity I make my kids and daycare kids clean up their mess. We sing to make it interesting. As far as your grocery bill goes.. do you meal plan with your daycare? I find if I meal plan in advance that helps cut the bill down. One day a week we do breakfast for dinner (that's super cheap) goulash and spaghetti is cheap.

I should also add, if I had a child in my daycare that treated me like that..I would terminate their spot and have another child fill the spot. That's a lot of added stress on you. You don't need that, and I'm sure you would have no trouble finding another child to fill the spot :)