Not so sure about this

My daycare just opened this summer and I have two little ones in my care. At the interview the parents told me that the oldest one would be 2.5 years and the little one would be just slightly under a year at the start of care. The little one looked like he was about that age so I didn't question it. I was okay with this as my minimum age is 1 year old (and my youngest is 1 year old so I didn't want a little baby). So they start and the oldest is very easy to look after. The little one didn't start right away as he was sick. The parents finally brought the paperwork for the little ones on the first day. During that day, I looked at the paperwork to see when their birthdays were (so I could plan accordingly). Well, it turns out that the oldest one JUST turned two and the little one JUST turned 7 months old!! We are now a few days in and this is a big problem for me. Not the 2 year old but the baby. He was here today and cried inconsolably for 1.5 hrs. Absolutely nothing I did would calm him. I thought maybe he was still sick as he was crying so hard that he was gagging. I called the dad to see if there was a trick to get him to calm down (understanding that this is a new environment for him and will take some time getting used to me and my home). The dad came here and he couldn't console him either so he took the baby with him. He said that at home they have been trying to get him to self soothe but once he starts crying, no matter how long they leave him or what they do, he will not stop crying until they pick him up.

The mom made it very clear that his schedule is to be followed at daycare as well as home and his schedule is in direct conflict with mine :(.

What have I gotten myself into? Not to mention my husband works out of town for a month and the week he comes home he wants to relax. He is NOT happy I have started a daycare and will be livid if this baby cries all the time when he is home. What would you do in my situation? Should I have asked to see a care card or birth certificate to confirm birthdates before we signed a contract? I do have it in my contract that the first month is an adjustment period and that if it isn't working out for either party notice can be given at anytime... Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

In my opinion they lied to you (by omission) and if you don't think the child will work because of the age then tell them it is not working out and they need to find new care. Or if you want try and get the child to adjust, he may adjust in a few weeks and things will run smoothly. The schedule thing would be a sticking point for me though. Your schedule is in place because it is what makes your day run smoothly for everyone (both yourself and the children). I let people know what the schedule is and if there is a major conflict I wouldn't accept the child into care. If it's a matter of adjusting everyones naps by half an hour I'm ok with that but a child that runs direct opposite to the schedule I have set... nope wouldn't be allowed. Perhaps explain to the parents that in a group care situation indvidual schedules can not be accomodated that way as everyone must run on the same time lines.

In future I would press for specifics; ie: they say slightly under a year, you say "how many months exactly?". They say 2.5 and you ask for the birth month.

I would talk to the parents and if they are unwilling to bend on the schedule issue I would terminate.

That's really a sh**ty situation lol If it were me, I would let them go for lying. Did they flat out say he was going to be one when he started? That would make me VERY angry and I would let them go. Also, the fact that mom would want ME to follow HER schedule wouldn't fly with me either.
I know you just started, I just started a few months ago, but you're going to be in for a big surprise if you allow people to push you around like that. I would definitely be letting them go simply for lying. JMO

I'm glad to know I am not over reacting. In hindsight I should have asked for specific ages.. I just took their word for it and didn't think I needed to press for more info. He looked like an older baby too.. he is the same size as my one year old and she isn't small for her age. I don't think they lied maliciously but now that I know that he is so young, maybe they had been having difficulty trying to find care for such a young baby. When they said he would be slightly under a year at the start date, I *assumed* they meant 11 months old. I should not have assumed.

We had discussed my schedule right from the first interview and they new that we would be going out in the mornings and we would be getting up from naps and getting ready to go to the school to pick up my son at a certain time each day. They knew my schedule and had actually commented how glad they are that I had a schedule and how important schedules are to them as a family. Then the mom sends her baby's schedule which has bottles every 2.5 to 3 hours (to be expected from a 7 month old.. which is why I didn't want a young baby like that) and cereal at 10:30am and 2pm. Well, at 10:30am we are always outside or at the library/preschool program which I have to participate in. At 2pm we are getting up and getting ready to leave to go to the school. There would have to be some major adjustments to his schedule and mom doesn't seem happy about this. All this plus the dad stated that the baby will not stop crying unless he is held.

It really is too bad because the oldest is really easy to look after and fit right in from day one. I do know that if the crying goes into next week when my hubby is home, my decision will be made for me :S

I know I have to discuss the schedule issue with the parents but I know from having a 7 month old (3 times) that when they are hungry, they are hungry. Which is why I didn't even want to go there in the first place arrgghh!

I think I know what I have to do.. I just hate to make it seem like I didn't give them a chance, you know what I mean? It really just comes down to the baby being sooo young.

I agree with the rest of the other posters that you can't possibly follow everybody's individual schedules they have to follow yours..... When I have a new baby starting I give them my schedule as well as some suggestions of things to do before starting care ... Such as starting on finger foods, play on the floor independently, self sooth/ go to sleep on their own, ect.... I would be ok with a 7 month old but you are not and it appears that "slightly under one" has very different meaning to both of you. I would have a discussion with the parents and let them know what you expect them to be doing at home to help him adjust at daycare .... give them your schedule and tell them they have to start tweaking his schedule to make it match yours .... You can't carry him around all day so they shouldn't either.
It's too bad you don't have the support of family in running your daycare because this job is hard enough and it takes sacrifices from everybody.
Fortunately my hubby is on board and when we built our new house we designed a separate daycare space right into it .... I love my commute and my boss "rocks". ; )

I'll talk to them.. I just wish they would have been up front with me.. but then again I should have asked specifically. My husband works away from home for 28 days working 10 hour days. When he gets home he wants to rest and relax (understandably). I just know that if I just knew the age only I would have politely declined the interview never mind the scheduling issues. I'll chalk this one up to a learning experience, lol. Thank you everyone for your input!

Well, definately remember this for the future..when you are talking to new parents and explain the age you take, DO NOT deviate from your age limit, 12 MONTHS AND UP. no if ands or buts. that being said, chances are 7 months or 12 this child would be crying no matter what, just you are upset over the age thing right off the bat! so that makes the crying even harder to deal with, at 12 months they definately have more abilities, completely understand your age choice, but at 12 months they still "cry like a baby". :) I wouldnt know if I would be willing to have a parent inform me that I HAVE TO go by their home sched. if the baby was a tiny infant of course you have to go by the babies needs. period. but when any child comes in to my home not only do I take their care into MY hands because I am the one providing it (with respect to the parents concerns) but I also inform the parents from the start, I not only have their child to care for but a house of others...things need to go by MY schedule or this wont work. I just had a new baby start a few months back and explained to the mother when she was still pregnant the importance of the sched being followed here, she napped her baby (tried) on our sched and also napped the baby in noise every day to make it easier on HER and US!!! yay! parents like that are great! you do need to be upfront with these people right away and if they cant comply you may have to tell them its not working. (for the simple fact of the 5 month gap in your required age limit) :)

I sat down with the parents and had a really nice discussion in regards to my concerns and the miscommunication about ages and everything. I made it clear that the baby's crying was not my concern at all.. just that I would have to change my program too much to accomodate him and I wasn't willing/able to do that. I said that I really enjoy looking after her daughter and she fit in with my kids seamlessly. I also said that I have no doubt that the baby would have become comfortable in a short amount of time but that wouldn't change his age. I was very professional but firm with my stance on the age issue. I was fully prepared for the parents to pull both kids as I know most parents want their kids in the same daycare. I know I did. So I was surprised when the parents said that their "number 1 concern" was that I was comfortable and happy with this situation. They said they trust me 100% with their kids and they've felt a connection to me right from the interview and if they need to put their son with a family member so I will continue looking after their daughter, they will be happy to do so. They said their daughter loves coming to my house and is always talking about my kids. I am so happy and thankful I spoke to them and they are so accommodating. I know this is a rare thing.. unless they are just saying this to me while they look for alternate care.. which is totally their perogative, lol.

So the fact they aren't bringing the baby means they don't owe me anything for this week as they are now paid up. I just reinforced that September's payment needs to be here by Friday. Hopefully that goes smoothly. Now I just have to fill one spot with, hopefully, another 2 to 4 year old. Yay!!

So does that mean when the baby turns one they will start him with you or are you never going to take him?

I was wondering the same thing crayola. There might have been another miscommunication here in the sense of are the parents expecting you to take the baby when he turns a year and if so do you need to save a space for him meaning you can't fill it now with another child, it just means you don't have to deal with the baby right now till he turns a year old.

Personally I would rather have the 7 month old than the one year old as it is easier to reschedule him now than it is to transition the one year old who may have made up some bad habits.

Especially bad habits that gramma has instilled ... I'm with you playfelt I'd rather have the kid now and train him my way and have the income to go with it rather then leaving the spot open for him till the new year or filling the spot if he is never coming there. I'd be over the moon if someone contacted me right now with an infant to fill my last full time spot.

GOOD FOR YOU! Not TOO often we follow through on things we feel that strongly about! Well, thats me anyway, I may have just taken the 7 month old and counted down the days until he became "more independent", but not have done that again! That is totally awsome they are so willing to bend.....I am assuming they will want you to take him once he reaches 1 yr, will you have room. I'm sure they dont want to keep the sibblings separated for always!

They had told me at the first interview that they would only need care until the end of June 2013 (the last day of care is already on the contract). They may need care starting again next September but aren't sure yet and asked if I would hold the two spots over the summer next year (with no payment) if they did need care again. I said that I would be looking to fill the two full time spots but if the spots were available for next September they could come back. Or they can make partial payments and come for a day a week through the summer but they were not interested in paying to hold the spots.

I may not need to have two kids starting next summer anyway. I may just fill one spot starting next summer when their contract is over and from the looks of things I may have someone for the spot already. I fully expect that they would want to have their kids in the same daycare especially as they get older. When my kids were in care I didn't even consider splitting them up. I was honestly a bit surpristed that they were so willing to keep their daughter with me even though their son wouldn't be coming. I guess I should take that as a big compliment :). I'll just wait and see what their plans are (and what my plans are) next Spring and go from there. In the meantime, I will enjoy my time with her :)

What that likely means is grandma wanted to keep the children but the parents felt that the older girl needed more in terms of a group setting and friends and structure and all that. Separating them actually solves all of the problems - grandma is happy, caregiver is happy, kids are happy and parents are happy cause everyone else is happy!

good for you!!! sounds like everything worked out to EVERYONES advantage! enjoy the girl she sounds cute!!! Another daycare bullet dodged!:thumbsup:

Wow, I spoke waaayyy too soon. I received a call from the dad last night saying that the dcg was sick still and wouldn't be coming to daycare. He also said that they had decided that gramma was going to look after both kids and he would be coming to pick up dcg belongings in the morning. This was all totally fine with me with everything that had happened and the fact they would only be here until June. I understand taking both kids out to keep them together. I would have done the same thing right from when we discussed the baby's age and decided that care wouldn't be provided for him. So definitely no hard feelings from me. So then he starts talking about the deposit he left to hold the two spots. It clearly states in my policies that the refund is non refundable even if care is terminated and the deposit goes towards the first months fees. He said I knew from the beginning that the baby was as young as he was and I decided to terminate care for him. I told him that that was not true and that they had told me he was just under a year and it wasn't until after the contract was signed that his wife told me he would be 8 months at the start of care (which wasn't true in itself). I said I was hesitant to take him at that point as he was so young but I thought I would try to fit him in, which I couldn't. He then starts getting super aggressive and tries to bully me into giving him at least some of the deposit back. There was no reason for the aggression. We could have had a civil conversation but he just wanted his way. They also know that my husband is out of town so I think that may have a part in his aggressive manner. I was left shaking after the conversation and I am not looking forward to him coming this morning and I am not a timid person. I decided to give him back some of the deposit that covers the days his son didn't come to daycare just so he wouldn't become aggressive in front of my kids and scare them. It is for reasons like this I didn't want to work from home and have strangers come to my home especially while my husband is away so much and I have little ones of my own to worry about.

I don't know how you ladies do this. I have so much respect for all you daycare providers. I'm going back to work outside my home!!

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Originally Posted by 2boys1girl

....I don't know how you ladies do this. I have so much respect for all you daycare providers. I'm going back to work outside my home!!

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So sorry you've had such a negative experience ... getting your daycare legs can be an exhausting learning curve for sure and that first year or so spent learning to perfect your interviewing techniques, your contract and policies to avoid miscommunications and minimize dealing with conflict with clients and so forth ... and even when you think you've got it all figured out there are just some really nasty asshats in the world whose purpose in life is to teach us tolerance and strength in ourselves .... been in the field 20 years and I still stumble across potential clients that 'shock me'!

Sadly there is a reason why there is a 'shortage of childcare' in most communities because it is a very HARD job and most who go into it do not last more than 2 years before burning out .... it is a job that is poorly compensated for the amount of work that is often being done and yet people constantly 'complain' about the cost of it when in reality they are only paying $2-4 an hour for it depending on the model .... we are helping to raise the next generations and peoples heirs and yet we are often treated worse than the worst by them and not give the resources or support needed to do our jobs :(