I'm burning out.

This may just be a bit of a vent or it may open up discussion on how difficult our job is.

I opened my daycare for one reason... my kids. Like I'm sure most of you did. I saw they were having trouble with my seperation from their dad and I made the choice to stay home with them... and this is how I afford to do it. But sometimes it feels like I have nothing left for them at the end of the day. It's weighing very heavily on my lately.

So, where's my balance? What do I do to make sure I'm still here for them at the end of the day.

I have some early clients, as early as 6 am some days. Come October when one goes on Mat leave, all but one of my kids will come no earlier then 8am. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm finding the mornings really difficult, but I still have one that comes 2 - 3 days a week before and after school as early as 6am.

So here's my dilema. it's only before and after care so the $$$ is not worth the stress. The hours are extreme and unpredictable...diff erent every week. I don't need the $$$ from this one, and I wouldn't replace if I lost her.

All arrows point to terminating... but how do you terminate someone you've had in your care and commited to for over a year now? I just don't know. I think if I lost this child i'd throw a party. Not because of the child... just the hours. The kid is great!

When I started, like most, I took anything and everything... and this is the last one with crazy hours that's held on. I now have very strict 8am - 5:30pm hours.

Ok, I'm done with my little vent now. Sometimes it just helps to talk things out.

Just explain that your business model has changed and that the hours you were previously able to do are no longer working. Make it clear that you have no issue with the parent or child but just simily can no longer do the hours. If you approach it with the right attitude and give appropriate notice I'm sure everything will be fine. You need to do what is best for you and your family.

I know exactly what you are going through. I have only been open since January, but I had clients here until 6:30 sometimes 7pm and it really took a toll on me and my children. I eventually had to tell my clients that I could no longer do the extended hours in the evening and that I would be closed at 5:30pm at the latest. One client rearranged their work schedule to be here on time, the other decided to look for care elsewhere. I am soo happy I did that though because my stress level is down and I actually get to spend some one on one time with my kids in the evening.

My hours are 7:30 to 5:30. This is my work day limit. I know myself this is what I can handle and be at my best. Any earlier or later and I know the extra time would cause other areas in my life to unravel. I think a 10 hr day is long enough especially when we are in charge of the physical and emotional well being of several children. A and B, you know you were pushing your limits with the 6 am start and your body/mind is telling you so and we know stress kills. The above ladies advice is right on. Adjust your work schedule so you can do your job and be the best for all of those who you are responsible for and yourself. Single Mom hood is a huge challenge - I did it for 11 years - you just have to find your balance hon.

I would not look at this as 'terminating' them Apples and Bananas ... as other mentioned I would look at it as having to reflect on your hours choosing what you think will give you the 'balance' you need and than just let ALL your clients know including this early client via a written notice something along the lines that 'After reflecting on the new school year approaching I wanted to let clients know that effective X date the program will only be operating between the hours of Y and Z. (give them time to make alternate arrangements before you 'change'). I realize that this might not be manageable for all my clients and totally understand that some of you might be required to find alternate care arrangements ~ please remember that X weeks notice is required to terminate care on your end if this is something you feel you need to do. If you have any questions please know my door is always open'.

Business models change all the time and this has nothing to do with 'them' but is about what you need to do to keep your business viable by keeping you passionate about doing it .... why keep these hours if they are killing you just to keep one client happy if it might mean that ALL your clients end up getting a 'doors are closing cause I am burnt out' notice down the road?

I feel bad for clients who need 'wonky' hours of care but the reality is that this is a hard business and you need to either decide starting out if you are going to be an 'early riser' and be like a 6-4 type childcare or you are going to be a late bloomer and be a 8-5 or 9-6 type daycare .... but you cannot burn the candle at both ends and expect to thrive in this business .... 12+ hours days are just too much for anyone no matter how much you LOVE this job starting out the reality is that in all my years of being in childcare I have met very few people who can do it 12 hours a day and keep a SMILE on at least not LONG TERM .... I know you hear people who say that 'oh well mothers do it 24/7 all the time what are you complaining about 12 hours for .... but caring for OTHER peoples children is not the same as raising your own its just not ;)

I would do the exact same thing in your shoes. 6am is ridiculously early. My kids come at 7:30 and I honestly don't think i could do any earlier. Getting up at 7 is quite possibly the most difficult thing of life lol luckily, my son is up at that time, so it's a little easier to get up.

In order for you to be there for your kids, you need to put your family first. I've noticed you saying things like wanting to go back to work, since your kids are now in school - is this something you would consider? If you could find something during the hobe hours that your kids were in school - be there when they leave and be there when they come home, would you do it? If not, then you need to consider what you need in order for you to be happy in your business. Yes, this is a business, but like I've been saying - I do it for my son. If there is anything within my business that takes anything away from my son, I don't do it. Originally, I wanted four dcks. But I realized if I had 4, I couldn't spend as much time with my son, I wouldn't have enough patience at the end of the day. So, I took the pay cut and take only three.

Sit down, write it all down. Figure out what is best for you and your kids. If this before and after school thing is the problem, end it. Don't feel guilty. If it makes you feel better - think of it as this: you're only their babysitter. Yes, it will be difficult to say goodbye, but if you think about throwing a party when you think about them leaving, then maybe that's your answer lol

Thank you for all of your advise. I do love what I'm doing, but I'm in a rut. I'm hoping that once kids are back to school i feel a little bit better. It has been overwhelming to have dck's and my own kids, all day... every day... all summer!

You ladies are a wonderful pick me up. It's really hard for me to change hours on this client as I feel like I've committed to them and they've given me no reason to change my commitment. Maybe my downfall in this job. I think tonight I will treat myself to something fun.

I've also been sitting here for 2 hours listening to my new little guy cry and jump in his playpen. He's a horrible napper! Here's hoping he get's better... and soon!

I always put my family first, (in the convo with the parent) :) I would give her enough time to find someone else and maybe even do a little exploring for them if you can (just to help out) but I would inform them it seems to be weighing on your time with the children, i.e. the early hours and long days are taking a tole on you, you've decided in October? (whenever) you will be changing your hours to 8-5:30 (whatever) and you have deeply enjoyed her child, but your family must come first. Do you think there is a way she could do the am's and maybe you could still take this girl in the after school hours? that way you dont have to lose her all together? either way...this job is tough, its tough to handle all these kids and families and handle your own, its tough to find energy at the end of a long day to spend quality time with your own family. Its a juggle and sometimes extreamly hard to stay balanced, but I agree with you when you said you decided to stay at home for your kids, it IS the right choice. :)
I always make it a point through the week to plan fun things with my kids, rent a movie they want to see, take them for ice cream, go to the beach, camp out in the back yard, invite friends over...and no matter how tired I am, I push my self to keep my word, they are the most important people in my life, I have to let them know through the time I MAKE SURE I have with them. !!!! :)

You know your burning out ~ you need to make a change. You sound like I have been and since I've made some changes, I'm on the road to recovery. Feeling positive and recharged about the daycare and in turn becoming a better Mom, wife, friend and provider.
You NEED to change those hours. Your rut won't change with the kids going back to school. It's amazing how that simple change will have such a huge impact. Like most of us did, we started off with crazy hours and it's what most people do when they start up a business. Now that I'm up and running, have a positive reputation and some years under my belt, I changed my hours. You can too- the perk of having your own business.
keep things professional and fair and let them know that your hours have changed and effective x date for them.

Good luck ~ nobody is going to take care of you. I'm not saying your husband and family don't- I've got an amazing hubby and family but, at the end of the day, nobody is going to put your needs first. As women we tend to take on more and do it all. We allow our families to let us do it all....put yourself, your business and your family first. It's only going to be better for everyone all around. You can do that being professional and fair- no need to say it's my way or the high way. Just remember at the end of the day, your daycare families will do what they need to for themselves and so should you.

I"m sorry if I'm coming off a bit much, I just saw your title and from just taking myself off that fast tract, I really see the importance of taking care of ourselves. I have 2 little girls who are watching my every move. I want them to see me a business woman, not a tired and too exhausted Mom who can't do things with them. Forgetting to take care of me...they are following my lead and putting everyone first before me isn't what I want them to learn.
Take that into consideration when your making your decision.

I made changes to my daycare hours, policies within a fair way and stayed professonal and my daycare families all agreed
Hope your feeling better soon

Ok, i've had a gigantic Starbucks! I have plans to release some stress with some retail therapy this evening and I have a good plan for tomorrow. Thank you to all of your support and kind words.

STill not sure what I'll do about the early riser.... but you've given me lots to ponder.

Just saw this post, how did the nap go with the new dck i am going through that know do you let them cry the whole time until they fall asleep. My kids and dcks were always good sleepers so this is all new to me?

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Originally Posted by apples and bananas

thank you for all of your advise. I do love what i'm doing, but i'm in a rut. I'm hoping that once kids are back to school i feel a little bit better. It has been overwhelming to have dck's and my own kids, all day... Every day... All summer!

You ladies are a wonderful pick me up. It's really hard for me to change hours on this client as i feel like i've committed to them and they've given me no reason to change my commitment. Maybe my downfall in this job. I think tonight i will treat myself to something fun.

I've also been sitting here for 2 hours listening to my new little guy cry and jump in his playpen. He's a horrible napper! Here's hoping he get's better... And soon!

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by mommy22kids

Just saw this post, how did the nap go with the new dck i am going through that know do you let them cry the whole time until they fall asleep. My kids and dcks were always good sleepers so this is all new to me?

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The little guy I have doesn't nap at home very well either... and now he's giving mom trouble at bed time too. I think the response I have depends on how they react. This little one cries and jumps until he finally cries while lieing on his tummy then will drift off to sleep. So, me going in to calm him doesn't work. He just has to work through it on his own. So I let him know that it's time for sleep... I go in every oncein a while and place him back down and remind him it's time for sleep. He's not going to have a good nap until he's totally comfortable here, and this is only his second week... it will take some time to adjust. I have him in the room that's the most soundproof... away from the other rooms so the other ones sleep right through it... they can hardly hear him.