NEVER make exceptions!!!!!!

This post goes especially to the "NEW" providers out there! On a lesson well learned over the past years. I have made a habit of doing favors for all parents at one point or another through the years. (I feel that is part of what sets me apart from the other providers these parents could have chose) However....when is enough enough? I provide care for family, yesterday I sent out a text to ALL parents reminding of payment being due with in the first two days of each weeks care (per my contract) OR a 25$ late fee will go into effect. (per my contract) :) My family member I provide care for (who gets the world sweetest deal on care) texts me to say, "with exception of me right?" then texts again saying "does that message apply to me as well?" I responded by saying, "I would like it to apply to everyone, hard to keep track of who owes when. You are welcome to pay every two weeks (as she requested) just pay ahead two weeks" She responds with a text that explains they are living paycheck to paycheck right now and things are so tough for them, sometimes they live off her income alone.
Are they the only people in the world right now having a hard time paying bills and such? last I checked ALOT of people are having a hard time..including yours truely!:no:
My advice to ALL "newbies"....NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION OF A PARENT! "money is tight" "FAMILY" "lost hours" "sick" whatever! no matter the situation..dont make the mistake of doing favors for this one and favors for that one, doesnt really make you a "great provider" just makes you a "great door mat" I KNOW, I've been one to many over the years, including family! :)

I totally agree!! Even if the subject is super trivial. I had a mom refuse to provide emergency clothes. Normally, I would been OK with it, but she seemed like the type of person who would eventually change this rule, than that rule, than this rule. I spent 3 days arguing about a friggen pair of emergency clothes. SO trivial. But if I gave in to that, just like you said, when would it stop?

I'm sorry you're going through something that difficult. It's hard for us who are people pleasers and want to make things easier for others, because we would like the same treatment if the roles were reveresed. Unfortunately though, it's just not possible. People, by nature, take advantage, whether or not they mean to. I have a friend who is starting up a daycare right now and is refusing to supply a contract. She's been screwed so far by three clients, but she won't do up a contract. I've explained to her that if she lets them, they will take advantage. It sucks to admit that it's human nature, but it's just the way it is. You need to define the line between friends and working relationships. It's really hard for me because I get along with pretty much everyone, and people automatically assume we're friends, just bc of the way that I am. But once you develop that type of relationship, it's hard to be assertive when you need to be.

Hand in there and stand your ground. What I have learned is simply to change my language. Instead of I prefer, I would rather, I think, I would like, I feel. Those words leave room for discussion.

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Originally Posted by Littledragon

I had a mom refuse to provide emergency clothes.

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. No way! Seriously? I can't think of a single way that makes sense?!

CONTROL!!!! had Moms like that, major pain in the behind they were. :)

So true kidlove! My dcb came back today after being sick for his 4 days last week. I previously offered my parents one week vacation free which this family used for dcb's sick days. I no longer offer this perk. I just know when Mom comes to pick her son up she will not want to pay for his sick days even though it is in the contract. I hate haven't to fight and justify for what is clearly in my contract. I will stand firm and insist on what is due no matter what. I too did the favours for my dc parents, but not when it means cash out of my pocket which they all seem willing to take. Her husband is dead set on not paying this. He is not paid if he doesn't work as a fitness pro (he makes $50 per/hr so he thinks I shouldn't be either and I make $5 per/hr caring for his kid. Uhhhhh

If a family refuses something that I ask for, I refuse to provide care.

AAAAHHHHH! I hate parents sometimes! how can people be so cheap? especially when it comes to the care of their child? I have definately learned over the years to become much more tough than I was when I started, that being said...I obviously have much more to go!!!!!! Thats what I hate about this job, is having to stick up for myself in the most obvious situations......I would NEVER say or do to a provider what is said and done to me. Not in a million years, that person has my childs life in their hands every day, I would appreciate them to the depths of the sea. ;)

Last time a parent told me they lived on paycheck to paycheck I responded with "me too! That's why it's so important that I'm paid on time"

It sometimes feels like they think I do this for fun. You know, I had some spare time... thought I'd take 4 children in diapers in my care... make a few extra bucks... NO! This is my job thank you!

Isnt it funny how some people can be so SELFISH? Like seriously, can they really think THEY are the only people in this world who may live paycheck to paycheck for one reason or another? I would love to see the facts: I'll bet more than 75% of society live pay check to pay check. I love that, that sometimes you feel like...."these parents think we are here only because we have some extra time on our hands" we figure we just may as well fill our day with all their screaming/annoying kids and do it for FREE!!!!!! I am a secret millionaire, I dont need the cash to "survive". I just want to see how quickly I can age myself!!!! Dont get me wrong, I LOVE this job, but just like any job, I really do do it for the paycheck.....just so happens, I also LOVE what I do.

I love when the usual mantra is the pay check to pay check life and then they tell you they are vacationing in Hawaii for 2 weeks. Huh?

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Originally Posted by Dreamalittledream

. No way! Seriously? I can't think of a single way that makes sense?!

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She said she wanted to "keep track of the clutter". Whatever. She wanted to bring an extra change of clothes for me to change him every day before she came to pick him up. The SECOND day of this ridiculous routine, she forgot to put clean clothes in the bag. He got paint on the clothes she sent him in and then I had to change him into the clothes I'd changed him out of the day before and they were full of pasta hahahahahahahahahaha hahahaha

I shouldn't laugh, but it felt SO good!

That "paycheck to paycheck" crap gets me too because I feel like they are actually saying "my bills are more important than yours!"

I know! I'm in a situation right now where I'm not sure if I should let things slide or be a hard ass. I returned 1 of my family's cheques because it was a discounted month for my holidays. She went into unexpected labour and ended up having the baby a month early (this was Aug. 29) and here I sit 5 days later short just over $300 on my pay cheque. I sent an email reminder 2 days ago that fees are due and have heard nothing from them. I know it can busy and crazy with a preemie who is possibly still in the hospital so on 1 hand I feel bad if I demand my fees and want to charge my late fee BUT...on the other hand...this is my pay cheque! I need and rely on this money.

I sent her a text this morning letting her know I sent her an email...in case they haven't checked it. We'll see if I hear from her today.

I should of just kept the cheque and reimbursed them for the holiday days...stupid me *bangs head against the wall*

thats EXACTLY why I ask for "extras" to KEEP HERE!!!!! I had a total bi***! Mom, who was a massive "I 'm better than you" control freak, she insisted on bringing his bottle every day because she wanted to take it home each night a sanitize it!!!!!!! (like I was such a dirt ball I couldnt be trusted) anyway, she forgot the bottle one day, and her son screamed and cried for over an hour while she drove from work to home and out to my house with the "super clean" bottle!!!!!!! CONTROL FREAK!
I also used to purposefully take apart the outfits she packed in the bag (all rolled up together, right down to matching socks) and put them on him "miss-matched" before she picked up. No wonder things ended badly......I dont like control freaks! :laugh::laugh:

Funny how my paycheque to paycheque goes toward buying food for the children, but their paycheque to paycheque goes toward their new car and new hair and new shoes........... Ok, I'm done. In other words, my rates and my rules apply to anyone who signs on with me, period.

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Originally Posted by Momof4

Funny how my paycheque to paycheque goes toward buying food for the children, but their paycheque to paycheque goes toward their new car and new hair and new shoes........... Ok, I'm done. In other words, my rates and my rules apply to anyone who signs on with me, period.

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Well said momof4!

wouldnt it be nice to have extra after taking care of their kids, so we could go out and have our hair done, or get a massage oh a massage would be so great!!!!!!

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Originally Posted by kidlove

I also used to purposefully take apart the outfits she packed in the bag (all rolled up together, right down to matching socks) and put them on him "miss-matched" before she picked up.

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I've been told by the dcp who watched my daughter (we're still friends and see each other 2-3 times a week) that I was one of the best 'parent' she's had to deal with. I would always send 2 outfits....one for that day as she allowed my DD to come in her pajama since it was so early and one extra. I too roll everything up including the matching socks and hair ties......and honestly THAT would drive me nuts if I saw everything out of order!!! :laugh: that's my OCD coming out!! When I read your comment above I let out a GASP! hahhahaha I have a sickness! lol

ha ha too funny mama mia, I guess we all have our little "nut-job" quirks. Concidering she thought you were one of the best parents she ever had, you were def nothing like this one, she treated me like I could do nothing right, also "ragged" on her husband right in front of me, called him stupid and an idiot....would tell me "he's such a jack-ass, he cant do anything right" hmm..me and him had alot in common, she made me feel the same way. She was a bit of a OCD freakshow!! :) Someone needs to send a note to people like that "little info for ya,...nobodies perfect!" :)

AHAAHAHAA kidlove re:outfits i so needed that

Well, I suppose I shouldn't tell you ladies that I just got home from having a pedicure with my daughter. I squeezed out a little money to pamper myself, yay!

Good for you Momof4! Bonding time with your daughter and pampering yourselves. That's a win - win :)

Further to my post on page 1 of this thread. Mom paid me in full today for her son's sick days this morning. Yeah, I thought, but at pick up this evening she wouldn't look me in the eye and didn't comment when I told her how her son was a big help with my two new dcg's. She just kept talking to her son like I didn't exist and then headed out the door with a "see ya" I'm getting attitude big time. :glare: